Question- do you lock or gate your kids in their rooms for nap/rest and bedtime? A friend will close her child in their room (with the childproof doorknob cover on the inside to keep them in. She said she baby proofs, leaves books & blocks and eventually they fall asleep. Or if they wake up it's easier to keep them in the room. (her child is 2 1/2)
Sounds like a great plan! Part of me wishes we could do it- but I'm too much of an wuss/worry wart parent I guess. My gut thinks that it isn't safe! Plus, My daughter always works herself up so much if she's tired and upset that we spend more time calming her
than we would of we use the "creeping" method to leave the room. we function VERY different in our house compared to what my
friend described. We have open doors, shared bed sometimes and my daughter definitely needs more attention before resting.
I would never put them in a room and shut the door in a way they couldn't get out if there was an emergency. I do know people who have gated their children in their rooms, and that seems okay to me because you can clearly see the child and in the event of an emergency you could see what was going on.
I do shut the door when my son is napping/bedtime. However, I always listen to the baby monitor to hear what he is doing until he falls asleep. After he falls asleep, I always check on him.
I have a gate but most of the time don't have to use it (I only use it when she refuses to go to sleep before 11pm). I definitely could not shut them in the room, I would feel guilty and start relating it to me, like I would be petrified if someone locked me in a room I couldn't get out of. With the gate she'll come tell me if something's wrong (come to the gate) and I can fix it. I think in the past month I've used the gate at the door once, but she watches a movie in my bed and falls asleep to the movie. She co-sleeps with me :) I would worry to death if I shut the door and couldn't check in on her (inconspicuously) to make sure she is okay. I do have a gate in front of the bathroom all the time but that's because the litter box is in there :)
I agree with Sarah, I don't go to sleep until she is sound asleep.
She takes naps on her own will though, mostly at 1230ish
My mind always wanders to the extremes, like what if someone broke in the house through his/her window? Guess who is stuck in the room with a burglar because he/she can't run to you instead.
Oh and with the gate, she can open it by herself (with the latch arm facing out, away from her) so it's a mental thing with her... she sees the gate and knows it seriously is time to go to sleep.
No offense to you (I know she is your friend) but I agree with Denise P.
Yes, at nighttime if they refuse to stay in the room, it helps them fall asleep... if I didn't they would be up running around, rough housing and bouncing off the walls until 2am, literally. Locking the door gives them the incentive to calm down and they fall asleep quickly.
And we have plenty of cuddle time, a bedtime routine, storybooks, we eat healthy, let them get their energy out during the day... but my kids simply refuse to sleep or stay in their rooms, they don't nap either, we just have a quiet time out here in the living room.
Every family works differently, some children are more resistant than others. How lucky for those that don't struggle with this issue, and yet think it's such an awful parenting tactic or abuse for those of us who do 'everything right' and locks the door as a last, desperate resort.
Once my children fall asleep, I unlock the door, so they aren't locked in there overnight for safety reasons. I also check on my kids periodically in the evening and always before I go to bed as well.
I never shut my daughters door and shes 2 1/2. Like you i worry about everything but i do put a baby gate on her door for bed time only and i wont go to sleep until i know she is sound asleep. Then my hubby gets up and leaves for work at 6am and he goes and checks on her and takes her gate down so when she gets up she comes straight to mommys bed and lays with me and watches some cartoons. Never would i shut there door and then put a child proof door knob on the door that is just crazy.
I wouldn't even think of doing that personally. I wouldn't mind using the gate as we have animals that I will not allow into her room.. but I just can't imagine locking them in.
Of course not.
Kids... are not prisoners.
Kids... are not objects to treat as caged animals.
Kids.... are not zoo animals to take out or put away, just according to capricious whims or adult intolerance.
Kids, are kids.
My kids nap. My son, does so everyday. I do not have to lock him in.
My 8 year old daughter, will nap if she is tired.
I never have to lock them up or threaten them or punish them.
They nap.
We have a routine.
They know what nap or bedtime is.
Naps or bedtime, are not 'punishments' for them. It is rest.
It is not something done "to" them... just so Mommy can get them out of my hair.
It is nap. Or quite time.
I will close the door but I don't lock it. We did use a few baby gates but that was when he was sleep walking. I want my kids to be able to exit their rooms in case there is ever an emergency.
Sarahjane- please tell me what happens when a fire starts in your Childs room and they cannot get out because they are locked in, or someone breaks into that room children have been kidnapped out of their own bedroom windows, or they are locked in to take a nap but manage to climb and fall out the window, or they are throwing up but are locked in, they need to pee but are locked in my youngest night trained at 2 hrs old if I had to unlock a door he would have peed himself before getting to the bathroom. If you ask me it's lazy parenting to lock a child in a room.
I would say that you should trust your instinct on this one. Not all families do things the same way. We never locked or gated our little ones in their rooms. It took a lot of patience to teach them to obey by staying in bed, but it was worth the work to do it. I want my children to be able to access me anytime they need to. The hard part is teaching them the difference between a need and a want. ;)
No. I think they should be able to get out of their room. Especially during the night when I am asleep too. If something happens and they are scared, sick or whatever they shouldn't be where they can't get out and get to you.
Caroline
We have a gate with clear plexi-glass in the middle, that we use. It's really to keep the dogs out. My son is really independent and it doesn't bother him. His bedroom is across the hall from ours and we can always see in.
I have never heard of this before. When my girls were big enough to nap w/o being in a crib, they did exactly that. I don't know if I agree with this locking the door. Perhaps a gate would be safer in cases where something is needed to keep the child in the room.
No, we do not lock or gate the room off. I used to close the door, simply for the noise factor...didn't want to wake him up. But all of a sudden he freaks out if the door is shut.
We are pretty lucky. Our little guy goes into bed and doesn't roam. So it has never really been an issue.
I don't think locking a kiddo in the room is the answer...perhaps getting him/her to stay in the bed is a better avenue to pursue?
Have not/would not/will not EVER lock my child anywhere!
~I also think this is borderline child abuse...no matter how many books and toys you give them to keep them happy and entertained. This type of parenting is just crazy to me, and I too, have had friends who do this.
My children are older now, but when they were young we gated them in at naptime and bedtime. It wasn't to keep them in, but to keep the dogs out. Without the gate, the dogs (one in particular) would go in and nose them awake. We still use the gate in one section of our house for the dogs even though no one is napping anymore. We never locked our kids in their rooms though, and they were easy sleepers so we just tucked them in, shut the gate for the dogs, and that was it. Our youngest had/has night terrors, but we have always been able to hear him and get to him as soon as they start since his door isn't shut. I think you just have to do what is right for your family.
I find it interesting that so many people believe a child is not safe when locked in a room during an emergency. Actually, a child is significantly safer when contained in his room for most emergencies. For example, if there is a fire, you do not want the child running out of his room into a smoke-filled/fire-filled area -- you do not want you child moving about the house unattended. If there is an intruder issue, do you not want the child entering into the situation. The list goes on.
The perception of safety (or lack of safety) is very misguided.
Hi Rachel K...to answer your myriad of questions: Most household fires start in the kitchen or around the furnace, hot water heater or other gas appliances. (Not to mention that most people ensure their baby's or toddler's room is 100% safety-proofed from fire hazards.) Also, most people make sure that windows in their infant and toddler's rooms are completely secure -- again, no hazard. Nevertheless, if a child is going to climb out a window, it seems mutually exclusive to the door being locked...don't you think? I'm pretty sure the stories of children climbing and falling out of windows have nothing to do with the door being locked. Along those same lines, if someone is able to break into your children's room to kidnap your child without anyone else in the house knowing, it doesn't really matter if the door is locked or not, does it? Again, the stories of those few abductions had nothing to do with the door being locked.
I am presenting information about safety -- not a point of view of whether you should or shouldn't use a door lock. You obviosuly feel very strongly...but there's really no point in arguing with objective safety data.
I just began putting mine in their own beds at naptime, so that I can workout.
My 13 month old is in his crib, with the door closed, and I have the safety knob on the outside. That way my 3 year old doesn't go in there. My 3 year old is in his bed with the door open. I have been laying in his extra bed until he falls asleep.
I did. I first started doing it with my oldest because his bedroom door was right next to some steep stairs and I didnt want him to walk out and fall down the stairs at night. Then when we moved I stopped until he was found outside at 2am sitting crying next to a very busy road just before he turned 3. My oldest is a sleep walker and he managed to unlock the door and the chain lock and got outside. Luckily my friend had a friend leaving her house and brought my son inside not knowing what to do with him. Anyway, after that I started locking all little kids in their rooms at night because it made me feel better. I stopped when they started with potty training at night but I wake up at the littlest noise now.