Hi Moms. Every year my son goes to Cape Cod with my Dad and Step mom for one week in the summer. They live in NY. Usually I fly to NY to visit everyone else in my family and they drive out to the cape for a week alone with their two grandchildren (other grandchild lives in NY). Well, I do not have any vacation yet at my new job so bringing him up or back is out of the question. If my dad came down to get him and then brought him back, it would be three round trip tickets, which is just crazy at a time when airfares are skyrocketing. My step mom is pressuring me to let my son fly there and back alone. He is 8. He has been on a plane at least 50 times, but never alone. He is my only child and I really feel uncomfortable about letting him go alone. I am sure that he would be fine, but what if he is not? I know that I am being a little over protective, but I just do not feel good about it. Step mom is totally acting like I am crazy and I feel guilty about ruining this year's vacation.
I would love some other mom's opinions about this. Thank you!!
As Long As It's a nonstop flight and As Long As you pay the extra escort fee for unaccompanied minors, then you're fine. You'll go through security with him and actually watch him take off before you leave the airport. Your dad should arrive BEFORE the arrival time, get through security himself and be WAITING at the gate when he gets off.
Then the only time he's not with either parent is when he's physically ON the plane (which it sounds like he'll be mature enough for). And if something happens when he's in the air... then there's nothing you could've done about that if you were with him anyway... ya know? Sounds grusome to think about it like that, but that's reality.
I understand your feelings, really I do. I only have 1 child (a son) and ALL of our family lives out of state. I fully intend on letting my son fly alone to see family As Long As it's a non-stop flight, the escort fee is paid, AND he's mature enough for it. The gift you give your son with these vacations are priceless and you can't protect them forever! :)
Good luck!
No! He is only 8. I don't care how mature a child is it is not safe for him to fly alone. Point in case, my neighbor, who is 68 years old was flying back from Houston. She happened to be sitting next to a little girl 5 yrs old, who was traveling alone to lubbock, layover in dallas. My neighbor met this little girl and her mom while waiting to board the plane and made friends with them. She kept this little girl entertained during the flight and when they arrived in dallas she was asleep. well, not wanting her to be scared when she woke up, nancy told the flight attendants to make sure she didn't cry when she woke up and realized that nancy was gone. The flight attendants had NO IDEA that this child was alone. They thought she was with nancy. I still shake my head when I think of this. This child's safety had been entrusted by her mom to the airline. They were responsible for her and yet they had no idea that they were supposed to be keeping an eye on her. A pedophile could have easily sat down next to her and assaulted her without anyone knowing. Trust your motherly instinct. Don't worry about offending your step mom. You only have one son. there will be other opportunities for vacations.
When my kids are that age, I would love to let them do that. But I'm a fraidy cat, and won't. I'm just too scared that something, ala 9/11, would happen and they would be scared and alone. So, no I wouldnt. But I wish that I wasn't such a scaredy cat.
My daughter is 13 now. We are a plane ticket away from ANY family. Last year, I had a couple of relatives visit and my daughter flew home with them on a NON-stop flight. A week later, daughter flew home alone on a NON-stop flight.
We paid a fee of $85 for an escorted child. When my mom took her to the airport in AL, she got a "blank" boarding pass with her credentials so she could escort my daughter to the gate and wait until the plane boarded and left.
In the meantime, hubby and I knew the flight status, we got a "blank" boarding pass with our credentials which allowed us to go to the gate where daughter would be getting off the plane.
The "credentials" are done ahead of time. They include DL #'s, names, addresses, relationships.
When daughter got off the plane (appx 2 hr flight) an attendant brought her LAST, checked our id's, etc and then we were on our way.
It worked well for us. Like someone else said, we can't help what might happen in the air. The security we went through and what my mom went through was thorough. I still would NEVER send daughter, even at 13, if it were not a NON-stop flight. We always fly American as well. You have to do what is right for you. Follow your gut....
She made it fine. I will add, she HATES flying as I do and she made it fine. We have personally been on 3 emergency landings, one of which was exceptionally scary and her flights were only 3 months after the very scary flight we were on. I would say that my daughter is better at flying now than I am....still. We REFUSE to let our fear of flying keep us from enjoying family vacations.
It is REALLY scary to know you are on an ER landing and to see firetrucks chasing you. Basically a BIG TIME wake up call to make sure you are doing things right...LOL
TF
I have done it every year with my son since he was 8. (He is now 14) As long as someone is meeting him at the other side and the flight is nonstop. WE always fly American. There is no way that the flight attendants would not know that he was flying alone. They put a 4inch by 4 inch badge on them and walk them all the way to their seat. It is really safe. They make the kids get off last too. So the flight attendant walks off with them . Good luck.
Hi Erica,
I didn't even know it was legal to let an 8 yr old fly alone. However, knowing that it is since other moms have done so with their kids, I still would never be able to do so with my child!
Don't worry about your step mom and pressuring you. You do what you feel is best and if you're not ready to let him go by himself then don't do it.
He's your child and your responsibility, not hers and if anything happens to him, you'd feel the guilt of course because your his mom.
I would just skip the vacation this year, whats one year?
If they want him to come so bad then let your dad come down and do the flight with him. In my eyes, that's sort of like saying for example, since he's been swimming over 50 times you minus well just let him go to the pool alone? You still never know if your child can drown even though he's very good at swimming, same goes with flying alone.
Even though he might be experienced at it, he's still not completely ready to handle something like that on his own, God forbid something ever happen but you just don't know for sure.
Take care and hope you make the best decision for your son!
Have a good Summer.
Lots of info shared here for you - I will say my daughter is 13 - and been on planes many times as well - with us. We are not able to make the "family" trip this year but we are sending her. She is going to be an "un-accompanied minor" and have an escort - which we are paying $100 each way. Well worth the security of knowing there will be no problems or confusion.
Good luck with your decisions....
I wouldn't do it. Call me overprotective, too. I'd rather me be called that than something happening to my child.
For sure I would NOT let my son at 8 go on an air plane alone. Your step mom needs to take a pill. you listen to your instincts and dont let others pressure you into something you are not comfortible with :0). Its not the end of the world if he does not go but it would be if something happened. I think its better to be safe....
AJ
About 10 years ago - I let my then 10 y/o daughter fly from Boston to Upstate NY (non-stop short flight) because my mom bullied me into it. Unfortunately, there were severe thunderstorms at the airport she was supposed to go to, so they diverted the flight to New York City!!! We paid the $100 unaccompanied minor fee. When I talked to the airline people they said "don't worry about it, we'll just put her in a hotel" At 10-- in NYC. I don't think so. I ended up driving to NYC to pick her up. All of this was originally to save my mom a 6 hour drive from boston to upstate NY. Ended up taking WAAAAY longer.
We have allowed my 16 y/o step-daughter fly NY to DFW twice- and everytime she's in the air I have major stress. The airlines aren't as reliable as they used to be. The flights can be delayed or canceled at a moment's notice. You can't rely on the airlines doing what's right by your kid, and you can't expect a kid to know how to handle delays, cancelations, etc.
Don't let anyone bully you into anything. The fact that you're not sure about this makes me think that you believe that this is not a good idea.
How does your husband feel about this? Your son (all males in fact) need challenges while we (females) want protection and security. Although years ago, my son flew alone a couple of times, I briefed him on what to expect and when you have the airline security paid, they take that VERY seriously. On my son's 4th trip my husband thought he would do well w/o security and he missed his flight! The airline found out he was underage (because I briefed him on what to do to find his connecting flight) and assigned someone to take him while they did their job -- My son LOVED it! While that may not happen today, (or it might) I think the biggest question is what does DAD say? He knows more how to handle his son, trust his judgment. 2nd question is: what is your son like? 3rd: Have you called the airline to ask what is involved with security? Even though your child knows the person - security will NOT had your child to someone who does not have proper ID. Take all information in and discuss with hubby - God grant you wisdom.
My advice is to do what you feel comfortable with. You said that you "do not feel good about it." As a mom of two boys, 12 and 7, I have learned over and over again to trust my "gut" and not worry about what others think. You are his mom and you need to feel comfortable and your step mom should not pressure you. My oldest son flew alone for the first time when he was 11 and I was a little nervous, but knew it would be fine since he is VERY mature and my husband was meeting him on the other end. Good luck!
I'm with you.....if you do not feel comfortable then I would not let him fly alone. I have an eight year old boy that I will not let him stay alone for 20 minutes to run to the store much less let him ride an airplane alone to NY....especially with all the delays and such that the airlines are experiencing. The grandparents should understand and respect your feelings. If they want to spend the time with their grandson it sounds like it would be easier for them to come here. Final thoughts.....you and your husband need to feel comfortable with whatever decision you make.
You are his mom. You know him better than anyone else. Go with your gut and don't worry about what other people say. They may be mad if you say no, but would you rather have a frightened 8 year old or a mad adult?
Remember that you get to decide for your son and that you truly know what is best for him. I don't think I would let my son go by himself, but that is because I know him and know that wouldn't work well for him. Other 8 year olds might be completely fine with traveling alone. You decide for your son....
You are a great mom for taking such good care of him!!!
There is NO WAY my 8 year old would be flying alone. Trust your mommy gut...you can't always worry about what everyone else thinks. If something happened to your son you would never forgive yourself. And 8 is REALLY young to me.
I'm not sure that I would do that either. As a former supervisor for a major airline in a nother large city here are some things to consider.
If you pay the minor fee that means they will be escorted from gate to gate, ticket counter to gate, etc. The way airlines hire sometimes this might or might not be a great employee. That job does not pay very good. Once the kid is on the plane the flight attendants still have 180 or so people to attend to at one time and your child will not be able to be watched 100% of the time. You will know nothing about the people he is sitting next too as the flight crew will not see what is going on 100% of the time. I have heard cases of children being touched and such on flights. Also if the flight would divert due to weather or any circumstance they would put him in a hotel with a guard outside in the hall way all night. Again...same employees as the escort. Would you be comfortable if your son had to spend the night in some strange city and was in a hotel alone with someone you don't know outside the door all night. My 8 year old would be scared to death.
Just some of the things to take into consideration when making your decision. You have to do what works for your family but I wanted to give you some input of the stuff that could happen and sometimes does.
Thanks
Jodi
My husband and I had to make the decision of allowing his daughter to fly without one of us. We were a little more comfortable with the idea though, b/c our nephew had been flying back and forth to the Virgin Islands with a chaperone since he was at least 6 or 7 years old. Our daughter was 8 at the time we started putting her on a plane with just a chaperone. Even when her mother and grandmother weren't there to pick her up, the chaperone stayed with her until they arrived. We've had no problem using a chaperone, and our daughter is comfortable with it as well.We've found out that she's fine with it unless her grandmother tells her things like "what if the plane crashes, you'll be by yourself." You should at least try it this once, and see how well you all do with it.
I do not believe that an 8 year old person should be permitted to fly on his own. I'd check with the airlines, however, I believe that the minimum age for a minor to fly on his own might be 12 years of age.
Hope this helps.
D McKinzey