So you "allowed" her mom too? Does her mom not have any say so in anything? Sounds like you're being just a bit too controlling w/ her mom. If you continue to control what her mom can and can't do, when she becomes a teenager she's going to rebel against you, so keep that in mind. I really think it's a little crazy for the woman who suggested what's next a tatoo? C'mon, I've been coloring my hair since I was very young and have no desire to ever have a nasty tatoo. Sounds to me like the little girl is doing what every little girl wants and that is to look pretty.
Hi Shannon:
Don't let the other people tell you that you're being too controlling...someone has to be...we're talking about a 9-yr-old girl and her Mom who thinks it OK to highlight her hair. it's good that you care enough to be concerned about it!
A 9-yr-old? Not in my house...absolutely too young.
When young girls do things that older girls do...it can be confusing...when 14 yr-olds are acting like 16 yr-olds, and 16 yr-olds are acting like 18 yr-olds, that's when the trouble starts...pretty soon the 18 yr-olds are acting like 22 yr-olds, and they're not ready for it.
I tell my daughter to enjoy being a kid, she won't be much longer.
Good luck!
Sherry
She should definitely not get highlights. Who is the parent here? A good mother would do research and research shows that getting highlights before the age of 18 raises your chance of getting cancer by a lot. But, hey on her way to getting a deadly disease she'll be really COOL with highlights at age 9.
I find it hard to believe that a normal 9 year old would even know about highlights-sounds to me like maybe her mother put the idea in her head. Next time something SO dangerous comes up, be armed with facts so that they can't say no to you and your husband. Good luck.
I am a mother of 5-3 of them girls. I can't believe anyone would make a big deal out of a few blonde highlights on a child who is deserving of something 'girly' by behaving good and making good grades. If anything, it's great for her self-confidence. There is too much to worry about in this world other than some highlights. Ugh
My view has always been if you have good grades, you can do what ever you want with your hair. Except black dye is vegetable dye only. Chemical black dye can cross the brain membrane. It is only hair..cut it and it grows.
I have a 13 year old that I allowed her to get streaks and then dye the streaks a color. I believe you should let them express themselves. People are just way too quick to judge people anymore. I would use it as a tool first. Does she get good grades.. Make sure earn it somehow. Unless she is a straight A student who does everything that she is asked. Then by all means she deserves to have her hair streaked. Its just hair, it can be cut or dyed back if she doesnt handle things right. And the one who said... whats next a tatoo.... please. just because you let them dye their hair doesnt mean you would let them mark up their body permanetely for LIFE. And yes they will ask for the piercing and tatoos way before they are ready. My son of 18 asked when he was 12 and my daughter of 13 is asking now for a nose piercing. My feelings on with them on that is this is something you are doing to your body that will last a life time. Lets wait awhile and ponder it over if you still want it when you are 16 we'll talk. With my son when he was 16 he never asked, never brought it up... now that he is 18 he's not sure if he wants one anymore. That way you are not saying NO its forbidden and they feel like they have some control.
It sounds like her mom needs to stop asking you guys about what to do with her daughter's hair. Too many cooks in the kitchen here.
hi shannon, i don't have any stepchildren but i am a hairdresser for 29yrs & i would never highlight a 9yr olds hair regardless of good grades ect. i hope she didn't do it. i feel if you do all those "cool" things now what on earth will she have to look forward to when shes a teenager? kids today are growing up so fast & it breaks my heart when i see little girls waring make-up (to school) as well as the very inopperiate clothes they ware. i have 3 boys so i don't have to deal with all that, but i come from a family of 5girls & my sisters have girls, i like to play dress up with them when there here, but i love it best when there going home & i don't have to raise them. good-luck & if she did do it & you hate it you can always color her hair brown again. Tamra mother of 3boys 25,22, & 2 1/2
Well Liston lady I got highlights when I was 8 going on to third grade it did nothing to me I get super good grades in school in I'm no dummy and why are u sharing your daughters wants on the Internet it does not mean she's goth because she wants highlights and I say I would not die her hair at that age but u ppl are a bunch of old ladies on the Internet going no not my baby asking for highlights you kids get off my yarn oh Mary I cracked my back boom u ppl just got served ( if the 9 year old knew u were posting this she would think of u as a an old lady dream breaker ) poor kid :(
Well after much thought, we decided not to make this a battle. All parents involved with my step daughter get along, including step parents. So we didn’t want this to cause to much commotion. My step daughter is in gifted classes so she does well in school and is also involved with dance. We allowed her mother to take her to get small natural looking highlights, nothing that looks too teen-looking. Also told my step daughter to get a cut the way she wanted, that way she felt she was allowed to decide something. So she has been with her mother and I can’t wait to see for myself how it looks.It looks very natural. You can almost not even tell because she already had natural highlights. but I am happy her dad is happy her mom is happy and so is she! thanks for all the advice