My 6 year old daughter refuses to wear shorts or dresses without tights or leggings because she said she is embarrassed of her hairy legs. My husband and I have never brought that to her attention, I am wondering if maybe a classmate said something, or she is just noticing , I am not sure. She wants to shave her legs. This weekend the weather was very warm and she cried and cried because she wouldn't wear any shorts with out tights...any advice?
Are her legs unusally hairy for her age? I know it seems way too young for her to start this but she is obviously getting picked on for it or it wouldn't be such an issue for her. Honestly, I wouldn't exactly want my daughter to start shaving that young but if she is that passionate about it and it will boost her self esteem up and make her feel comfortable this summer I would probably start her off with some nair or something of the sort. Or even an electric razor that will not cut her at all. Good Luck.
Unless she is unusually hairy, or her hair is very dark, and therefore very visible against her skin, I would be inclined to say No. Can you get to the bottom of why thisis bothering her? I cannot imagine "All the other girls" are shaving their legs at 6! If it is truly noticeable, and she has a genuine reason to be uncomfortable, then Imight consider something like Veet, where there's no real razor. But if it is a "grownup" thing, then I'd let her tough it out.
My daughter was 9 when she started shaving under her arms, (Someone had made a comment to her) and it definately made a difference. I don't regret my decision because such a small thing, like shaving, built her self esteem and she was more confident afterwards.
Good luck!
SIX... SIX...!!!
NO WAY !!!... The hair will grow back thickER and black and you and she, will have more trouble for the NEXT 7 years while she's still growing... and she'll only be 13! - jUST Bearly a teenager, when should 1st want to even start shaving her legs!
Its up to you to overcome her crying, boost her self esteem and tell her how pretty the hair on her legs is right now, and thats the way its supposed to be on a SIX YEAR Old!!
Ask her to see how many of the other 6 yr. olds are shaving thier legs... (None I'll Bet) She'll see how ridiculous that idea is.. Don't Do IT!!
under her arms is one thing, her legs are quite another,
Even if she is VERY VERY DARK and hairy, NO,
Its far too early to start shaving, I am certain some one mentioned this to her and made her feel uncomfortable,
What i suggest is taking away all the tights, and MAKING her wear shorts WITHOUT them,
The fact that you are even considering this is surprising,
self esteme, is not linked to hairy or hairless
esteme comes from inner self worth and respect,
its learned,
you teach her she is beautiful by telling her everyday, and having the male figures in her life tell her the same,
I disagree whole heartedly, she is just a baby at 6 years old,
stick her in some shorts, and send her out to play,
CRYING or NOT.
M
I would believe that someone teased her and now she is sensitive to the matter. Or that she may have watched you shave your legs and now wants to copy you. I would not allow a 6-7-8-9-10-11-12 year old shave. I think when she becomes a teen is the time if the daughter requests it then. You should let her make a choice of wearing pants or shorts. Eventually she will want to wear shorts and when she sees no one making a big deal of it then she will feel better. I would try to find out who teased her about her legs but try to do it when she is doing something fun like coloring or painting. Sometimes my daughter is caught up in what she is doing that when I am asking her about information that she is sensitive about she will reveal the situation without realizing it. ask a question or two but not alot as she may catch on. My daughter use to watch her father shave and I caught her a few times trying to shave her face around 4yrs. So it could also be that she watched you shave one day and now wants to also.
Good Luck
I remember being about 9 or so, and have the same feeling. I'm hairy, and no one had to bring it to my attention. It just was a personal feeling. I still to this day couldn't understand why I wasn't allowed to shave; it was embarrassing being at the pool with everyone else and try to hide my legs. One time I shaved my legs in patches hoping my mom wouldn't notice, but I looked even worse and she noticed. Finally at 13 my mom agreed for me to get waxed (that was my one and only option), so I did and it was painful. I think I started to secretly shave after that. I don't see the harm with some rules. Like shaving/nairing/waxing only in the summer time and not all the time. Making sure she learns how to do it so she doesn't cut herself. If the hair is very dark, you may be able to just bleach it (just a thought). I feel her pain, and it does impact her emotionally to have to deal with this. i would certainly not take away her tights and make her wear the shorts as suggested in one of the postings, that would be cruel.
I have a 10 year old daughter and started aksing this same question because I know it's comeing. I started to notice on her how hairy her legs are ( but she's blonde so I guess I have been ale to get away from this matter with her because of that for a little while longer anyways). She told me when I sat down with her and had started "the talk" about how her body is going to start going through "the change" from little girl to "bigger girl" that she doesn't really like to wear skirts, dresses, or shorts because she already has hairy legs, and we found that wearing tights with them helped. I don't think that your 6 year old should shave ( and I really wouldn't suggest Nair because even at my age it breaks my skin out and burns it), but I would allow her to wear her tights with her shorts. they have thinner tights now that really aren't that "heavy" that she could wear with her shorts. If she feels better wearing them with her shorts let her, it's not harming anything. But just remember that if you start her shaving now that she is going to have to keep shaving because it will grow back thicker and ALOT more. If you do decide to shave then I would go with an electric razor to start. If after all of the advice that you receive from mammasource you are still confused I would talk to her Doctor about it. Good Luck!!!!!!!!
my stepdaughter came to us after her first week in fourth grade (8 years old!) and told us her mom let her shave her legs for the first day of school. The reason i was so upset was that she's blonde blonde blonde and the hair on her legs was definitely not noticable. She used the razorless shaving and it gave her a big reaction on her legs for a day or 2 which looked worse than the hair (which IMO didn't look bad in the first place!). She didn't want to do it again.
I think that anything under 12 or 13 or so is waaay too young. However, if your daughter does have especially dark or thick hair and is really getting picked on about it and you chose to let her, that may be something to try. Supposedly using some of those razorless "shaving" products doesn't make the hair grow back in darker and thicker like razors would. but just do a test area before letting her do her whole leg to make sure she's not sensetive. Or check with her doctor for ideas.
Clearly this is something that causes her pain -- whether she has been teased about it or whether she has noticed it herself. It certainly seems to be something that is easily corrected. I'm not sure I understand why it is so important to wait until a certain age before addressing it. My understanding is that shaving will cause hair to grow back more is a myth.
I have a friend who grew hair very young. She told her Mom how deeply self-conscious it made her and her Mother helped her shave. It is one of her earliest memories of her Mother and it is one of the best memories. She felt her Mom really listened to her and helped her.
It would be good to find the least invasive method for helping her feel more comfortable (electric razor?) as she is so young. But I agree with Parisa -- taking away her tights and making her tough it out seems so cruel.
let her wear tights.
Jennifer...I don't have a daughter, but if I were in your shoes, I'd (as crazy as it might sound) offer to get her legs waxed instead. The hair will stay off a lot longer, grow back A LOT thinner, and eventually (in many years) not at all. I wish I had been able to start waxing a long time ago, but I only did the last few years. It could be the answer to your dilemma. Good luck! Laurie
I have a 9 year old who has dark hair on her legs, and was the same way, wanted to were pants stocking no shorts ect. I gave into her last year to shave her legs at 8, she did it a few times on her own after i had helped her a few times, it went by the waste line after she started to have to do it her self. Now regardless of the dark hair on her legs i cant get her out of shorts or skirts!
How about getting her Capris? Or even long skirts(calf length). My 9 yr old recently told me the same thing...that this summer, she will NOT be wearing any shorts as she's conscious of her hairy legs...she's a brunette, so it's more obvious. We went shopping and got some nice crops and capris, as well as some nice gypsy type skirts. This season, Gap and Children's place also have summer pants and capris in thin fabrics(poplin and linen) as well as light knit/jerseys. They can be as comfy as shorts in the summer.
Komal
Wow, she is a little young to even be aware of this. Does she really have hairy legs or is this something that is really there? If so you may want to try one of the mild creams they have for hair removal. That would be better than a razor. I hope this helps some.
Jennifer, If she really does need to shave her legs, I would let her do it. I also was plagued with extremely hair legs at a young age and was traumatized by it and it would've helped a lot of my mother had been proactive and had suggested that I shave. I would actually take it a step further and ask her doctor about it - I believe that hairiness may be the result of some hormone imbalance. When I was young also I began to get hair on my face and was also traumatized by that! My sister's daughter had very heavy eyebrows and a mustache by the time she was about 11 and my sister is having her get waxed - I wished my mother had done that for me!
Hi Jennifer,
What memories that brought back of my own childhood!!! :-(
I know how I felt from 1st or 2nd grade on, and I can sooo feel for you daughter. I was picked on about the same thing. I was shy/quiet, and this was just one of the first of my insecurities through the years. Some kids are cruel, and can make sure to bring attention to anything "different" (especially for the quite ones).
I know alot of people are saying "tell her to tough it out" or "too bad-let her cry", but I can't imagine letting my child go on feeling the same way I did for years. And as far as "trying to boost her self esteem", I agree, but I also think that by six if she has self esteem issues, they've already begun. And to make her "cry it out" is just going to make it worse for her.
I have a boy, so I don't have to think about that specific situation. I do think six is young, but I also think if you can help her with her insecurities now, that is a great thing.
If you do let her, I'd say an electric razor first. Or if you don't let her shave in any way, then let her wear the nylons. (I wore them whenever I could, till I could finally shave, and did feel alot more comfortable with myself).
Good Luck!!
--Julie
Jennifer, you've received a lot of advice, ultimately, you should make the decision with your daughter, since you know the circumstances, (whether someone is teasing her, or if she is excessively hairy, etc.)
I can offer a situation I had with my 15 year old when she was 8 as well. She came home from camp crying that a little boy made fun of her eyebrows....unibrow poor kid, and she was so hairy since birth I knew waxing was in her future, haha. Anyway, I asked her if her eyebrows really bothered her, or if it bothered her more that this boy made fun of her. I explained that there would always be some insensitive kid who would make fun of something about another kid, including her, and she shouldn't care what he thought, but if it really bothered her....I would bring her into my shop and get her eyebrows waxed (I am a nail technician). I explained that if she did it for the wrong reasons, because she was teased, she'd get them done, he'd find something else to make fun of and she would still feel bad. I told her to think about it and I would respect her decision. She came back to me and said it bothered her more that the little boy teased her about the eyebrows and since it was for the wrong reasons, she would not get her eyebrows waxed. I agreed with her, told her I was proud of her decision and when she decided it bothered her, I would get them done. She came to me 2 years later and said it bothered her, would I get them done, and I did.....I disagree with the mom who said it doesn't really affect their self esteem, I was there at that age and it does. So do what you think is right, for the right reasons.....Nancy
Tell her NO! No means no. Not maybe. Not bug me until I change my mind. Not, well if your crying... NO! Bottom line. If you think it's peer pressure tell her it doesn't matter what other think and that she's beautiful just the way she is. If you have to, explain how badly she can get hurt shaving and also explain that the more you shave the heavier the hair grows back. Bottom line NO! and don't give in!