Hi Mamas. I would like to ask your opinion on an issue I'm having with my ex. My son is almost 7 years old now and my ex is insisting that he fly unaccompanied across the continental US for his visitation to reduce costs. I don't care what it costs, I'm not comfortable with him flying by himself yet, no matter how mature he is. I also don't care too much about how the airlines handle these things (i.e. flight attendants walking them on, trip to the cockpit, flight attendants checking on them etc.). They're still strangers. They have their job to do and can't give him the attention he may need. I personally feel like this is an option to use only in dire emergencies. What do you mamas think? Would you let a 7 year old child fly cross-country by himself? Am I being too protective?
You are not being overly protective...I am a flight attendant for a major airline and i would not send my own child alone at that age. Maybe in fiv years, but not at 7. It is too scary for the child and i love having the kids on he plane but a million things could happen like you divert for an emergency etc...and the flight attendants would be great with him, but i just think it is tooyoung...too scary for the child...hope this helps!
I agree with your concerns. As a mother of three sons ranging from 8-27 I did not let any of them fly alone until they were in their early teens. By then they were wise, independent, and eager to have the adventure with still many conversations about not dealing with strangers. Also the flight was a nonstop so no time alone in an airport.
Hang in there, Jennie W
Hi I have been doing the minor flying alone for 5 years now with my step daughter. First off let me say they will not let hem fly alone he will have to be seated with some one it is kind of a inconvence but we have used southwestern for the past five years and have no promblems. they a great with her. She is almost 12 so her days are almost done with the sterwartiest walking her to the gate until she sees her mom our one of us.We have let her fly cross country if you are still wondering Her mom lives in AZ, and we leaved in ohio now VA. If they are mature you won't have to worry to much. Southwestern is low on prices compared to others and they make sure if the plane is layed over some one is with them. Mkae sure you give hem plenty of stuff to do like gameboys or what not and I found we bought her a cheap MP3 player it helped with the nosie around her, so she was not afriad or anything. Does he have motion sickness, make sure you give hem something for it before he flys, they will not do that for you. If you have any more questions or thoughts feel free to contact me I'll help if I can.
I wouldn't do it! If you feel strongly about this as his mother, then you need to stand your ground. I know my two kids and I know kids in general (especially boys) are curious by nature and don't just follow along like the rest of the passengers. The chances are just too great something could happen. And, heaven forbid the plane were to crash and he was by himself during an emergency. Even with other people around, he would want his mommy. If you don't think it's right, don't let your ex convince you otherwise. If you have primary custody of the child, the courts will side with you.
H-E-2Hockeysticks No! There are crazy people out here. Tell his selfish father that his son is far more worth than the "extra" plane ticket. If he doesn't pay for it, your son should stay with you. Better yet, ask dad to come to your son. That way he can pay for himself and not be concerned with the "extra" cost. My niece flew by herself and the airline "lost" her. She wasn't taken to her transfer point, and finally ended up at her destination many hours late. She was a little older than your son.
No way! My perspective may be a little slanted, but as a prosecutor, I see way too many cases of sexual abuse and other scary things. I would not even let a seven-year-old go to a public restroom by himself, let alone fly across the country alone.
I personally would have a difficult time with that, however I have heard of kids travelling alone at that age with the airlines "helping". It would certainly need to be your call and what you really feel comfortable with. After all, this is your child too! I understand your protectiveness, my daughter who is 13 wants to fly alone cross country this summer to visit cousins, and I am having a hard time deciding what I feel comfortable with. Good luck in your decision!
You may not have a choice. I would hate to let it happen, but my sister was taken to court over custody b/c she wouldn't let her daughter fly. The dad was moving to Germany so the judge granted him visitation and its actually written in the order that if my sister doesn't want her to go unaccompanied, then she has to pay for a ticket and go with her. It sucks! My 10 year old niece HATES flying alone - and that is a LOOOOOOOONG flight. She said when she got off the last time that there was a "wierd guy" that sat next to her - she was so uneasy with him there that she wouldn't sleep. It was an overnight flight, 13 hours. =( Good luck!
UGH, this is a hard one. PErsonally NO, I wouldnt, BUT tons of moms do allow their children to fly unaccompanied all the time.
So now that I am thinking about it, If you get a non stop flight and your husband or you walks your son to the plane and even maybe his seat if they let you. Then you wait for the plane to take off so that you know he is safely in the air. Then the other parent is at the destination to retrieve the child off the plane. So actually he is never in a "public" place all alone. ANd I feel he would be safe on the plane by hisself w/ the flight staff to keep an eye out for him. They do it all the time.
How does your son feel about it? You could always try it once and see how it goes....
But I know, it still makes you nervous. Its always hard letting our children out of our personal watch and care.
NEVER!! I was on a flight where they got the names on the sheet wrong for the minor and asked me to wait, so I did, not realizing why. By the time I was like I'm not a minor, I have a child of my own, the child had gotten off the plane themselves, since they didn't know what to do. Thankfully the child ~11 yr didn't know what to do so he went to an airport employee in uniform for help. Not to scare you, but I wouldn't risk it. We are just starting to talk about my 14 yr old niece flying by herself (since she'll be able to drive her self in a year and a half). If you do decide, make sure you explain what to do to your son, don't get off the plane without your escort, etc. Also, you can probably look this up roughly online, but I've heard a court won't support unattended flying until 13 (I think). Good luck.
Hi Dyreka,
I am a former flight attendant, my oldest is almost 7 and we would not send him on his own. He is unbelievably mature and the airports and plane are a second home to him but it does get lonely for the kids more so in the terminal waiting to get on the plane. The flight attendants on most airlines do a great job. When you buys on most airlines a smaller cheaper company is doing the shorter halls and those flight attendants are not as well trained or seasoned as the bigger carriers. Another reason that we will not do it is because there are no laws preventing a pedophile to fly on a plane or be in an airport. My husband and I are not over protective by any means but we will not let any of our kids especially the boys go into a public restroom with out one of us or making sure that the bathroom is empty. The likely hood of something happening is more then likely not going to happen but is it worth it. If you have to do it I would look at the safety record of the airline first and then how happy their employees are would you hire a babysitter that you treated badly or under paid or browbeat. Good luck with your ex I do not envy your position at all.
Elizabeth
I agree with all the other mamas out there. No way. I wouldn't send my child unaccompanied on a flight until mid-teen years. Even then, only a non stop flight. Good luck.
I agree with you Dyreka - There are just too many people out there that can't be trusted. If you sent him alone and something happened, you'd never forgive yourself. That being said, I do know people who send kids that age unaccompanied and all has been fine. I wouldn't want to take a chance. Good luck!
This is a tough position for you. I think flying alone for 2 hours TOPS would be okay. However, you need to take in to consideration the amount of time it takes to board the flight, taxi to the runway, fly, land and taxi back to the gate and then finally meet up with an adult on the other side. That could take an additional 30 minutes or so. I think the best thing you can do is assess your child and see if he's ready to be alone with strangers for a period of time.
I can imagine that you are getting lots of responses to this. There is NO WAY, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES would I have let my child that young fly unaccompanied. In my opinion, and granted, I have a strong one on this, if Dad is so irresponsible as to consider this, I wonder what kind of supervision is he providing when your son is with him.
Best of luck with this one.
You are NOT over-protective! You know your child better than anyone. Your child trusts you to always have his best interests and welfare at the forefront of the decisions you make, especially ones that impact him directly. In this day and age, you cannot be too careful where safety, strangers and unaccompanied adventures are concerned. Trust your instincts on this one and stick to your decision!
I do encourage you to look for and offer options that would still allow your son to spend time with his father. Could your ex fly to his son and go someplace from there together, like a camping trip? Do your vacation plans allow you to meet him somewhere with your son? It's important to be open and agreeable to working out a compromise.
Good Luck!
CJ
NO no No NO NO. I would not do this at all. As many have said that there is just too much risk involved. What if something happened with the father and he wasn't able to meet him on time. Then what?
Too many scenarios to mention and a lot of good points have already been raised regarding safety, the child's emotional and mental well being (being alone) and whether the airline is equipped to give him the care and attention he needs and whether they are experienced enough to have employees that don't mind taking care of a child.
Of course this does not help you in making your decision because not much has been offered for alternatives.
How far is he from you? Can you drive him to the father or is it too far? Can you meet in the middle somewhere? Can you afford to fly with your son? How often does he visit with his father? If it is not often, can you work something out where you meet someplace to have a family vacation but let the father and son be by themselves while you enjoy time with your husband? What does your husband say about this?
You also may want to contact a family lawyer to find out your options regarding refusal to have children fly unaccompanied. See if you have any rights when it comes to your decision seeing as you are being a good parent with concerns about his safety and well being and not out of being spiteful or difficult with an ex.
How can a court fault you for not wanting to send your child off with strangers with no way of knowing what happens once he lands?
I hope that you are able to work out a plan that makes everyone happy because, depending on the situation, a child should have a relationship with both parents.
Good luck.
About 20 years ago, my 2 sons had to start making the cross country trip for my visitation (Mostly Seatac to Orf). I think that they were 7 & 8 at the time of their first flight. Yes, I worried about their safety. But, because of all of the additional safe guards that you get for the extra fee you pay, it is okay. Of course at that age, the boys flew together and I firmly believe that there is safety in numbers. If you are really worried about what can happen during a layover, book your child on a direct flight and drive the extra distance to that airport. There are a lot of direct cross county flights into DC. The attendants are required to only release the child to someone showing the proper ID and must stay with the child until that transfer is made. By the time of my boys' final flights they were old hands at air travel. Since it is a cross country flight, be sure to pack stuff for him to do in his carry-on that is in accordance with air safety requirements. Also, have the stranger talk again with your child, but assure him that the attendants are like the police and are there to make sure he is safe on this trip. Your child will be fine, and after a couple of years air travel will be one of his favorite things - unless he suffers from motion sickness. I am not sure that they allow kids in the cockpit any more due to safety issues, but, if you can, try to get him a window seat (not over the wing) so that he can see what the country looks like as he flies over it. That is way cool for people who are taking their first flight.
Hi there,
I think you already know your answer! You don't feel like this is a good idea, so there you go! I soooo wouldn't allow it either and my son is going to turn 9!
Good Luck!