Hi! My husband and I are having a small issue about baptism. Our daughter is going to be 8mo and she is not yet baptised. I am Catholic and my husband is not. He has never been an active member of any church. Although we did get married in the Catholic church and he signed the papers saying he agreed to raise any children Catholic he doesn't agree with it. I recently found out the main reason he doesn't want to go through with it is because his dad won't like it. I told him it's not his dad's decision and we need to make it on our own. He said it's ok to take her to church with me, but I can't force it on her because he doesn't want to have to explain why mommy and her go to church but not daddy. So I fired back we're going to have to explain why mommy goes but she and daddy don't. I also just found out his dad was not happy about us getting married in the Catholic church, he didn't want my husband to agree to it. So together WE comprimised, we were married in the Catholic church but did not have a full mass. IT upsets me because my husband doesn't understand this is not a 'contract' tying her to the Catholic faith. I have tried explaining baptisim/confirmation but I guess I'm not doing a good job. I just need some advice on how to handle this. I get a lot of questions from my side of the family as to when we are going to baptize our daughter. I have tried to explain the them (esp. my mom) that my husband is not comfortable with it, so I will wait and let our daughter make the decesion when she is ready. If any one can help I would greatly appreciate it! Thank you!
In our church we dedicate children to God. This is an open confussion as a parent & congregation that as a church will watch over and help parents if they want help to insure that child will get to instruction they need. There is no contract to raise them in any particuliar faith. I did this with my 3 children & it worked out just fine.
We believe baptisism should be at an age they can choose to do. I know not all faiths believe this, however my best advise is to pray on it and see what the Lord would direct you to do. Your in my prayers.
Baptism is what Jesus told his disciples to do. It allows the holy spirit to come to her. This is not about your father-in-law. He is working like the devil. This is about you and your children and doing the right thing. What does your heart tell you? If they don't believe in what you believe then live and let live. Parents make decisions for children and you need to do the things Jesus would want you to do.
I agree with you in explaining why Dad doesn't attend church if she asks. My husband didn't attend when I was part of the ELCA Lutheran. He didn't believe and no matter how much I expressed the importance of going as a family unit he would not come with me. I changed churches to Missouri Lutheran and he comes with us. I compromised and it was the best thing. Would he attend another church if it was outside Catholic?
If he agreed to raising her Catholic then part of that is doing the things around that, like baptism. Your husband and his family make me mad. I'm sorry. I feel for you.
I'd pray about it like the previous poster and I'd also consider talking to your priest and see if you can do it even if you don't have the support of family. It's important for your childs salvation.
If it'll make you more comfortable, then do it (with or without your husband). I go to church every Sunday with my daughter and my hubby doesn't. Our daughter asked me once why Dad doesn't go to church with us and I told her to ask her dad. I know he feels guilty about not going so I think he'll eventually start attending with us, but that is not why I go and why I bring my daughter...I go because it makes me feel good and at night when I'm laying in bed, I am comforted in giving her as much as I can, which includes a faith oriented upbringing. See if he'll support the idea as long as HE doesn't have to be involved in the process...that's ok by me so maybe that'll be a good compromise to get her baptized and going to church with you. (Also, people don't HAVE to be baptized or confirmed to attend or be members of my church, so you might want to look into that at your church and find out what their guidelines are for being future members.)
According to the new testament and the Vatican rules of the Vatican II, catholic baptisms (as similar to the Lutheran faith) are a way of entering a baby or person into the faith community. It doesn't have anything to do with dying anymore like the thought in the older Vatican and Catholicism rules used to read in which if a person dies, they go to Limbo if they are not baptized. All baby's go to Heaven no matter what, so her soul is protected. But, the Baptism is a promise that the parents make to the church, community and God that they will raise their child in a faith oriented community, church, family and will honor God.
Hope this helps.
Contrary to what some may believe, you do not NEED to be baptized to live eternally with God when you die. You only need to invite him into your heart and your life and live for him. That is why his son was crucified - for us.
The purpose of baptism is to publicly cleanse away your sins and transgressions. It is a more noticable symbol than saying a simple prayer to God in private is.
An innocent (as opposed to those that do things like plot to take down and stab their teachers) child is considered pure and free of those sins and transgressions - as are the mentally and severly physically handicapped.
Baptism should also be a decision that one makes, not at all lightly, and not one that is forced upon them when they have no knowledge or understanding of what they are doing.
I personally feel that no person, not even a parent, has the right to make that choice for someone.
Theresa,
I was baptisted when I was and infant, but we stopped going to church when I was about 11 or so. My older sisters were baptisted and were also Confirmed. My mom was raised in a Catholic home and attended Catholic school I believe through junior high. My husband grew up in a Catholic home and attended a Catholic School.
However, none of my three children are baptised. This is our decision and when the children are older, they can choose to be baptisted if they want to. We don't feel it is right to get them baptisted since we do not practice the faith.
My Mother-in-law attends Sunday mass on her own, as my Father-in-law is not Catholic (his family is Mormon).
With all that being said, I feel you should get your baby girl baptisted if that is what you want. Only thing how do you feel that your husband already lied to the church saying he would raise his children in the Catholic faith and doesn't agree with it? I believe in order to get your daughter baptised you must go through classes with your husband (at least that is what my SIL just did for their son) so not sure if he will do that. So if you can not get him to agree, your only option would be to wait until she is older....
I wasn't much help, but wanted to give input....
Children are pure with our without baptism.
I was an RCIA candidate 2 years ago when I officially chose to join the Catholic church. Despite growing up Catholic and Buddhist, neither religions were forced on us so I didn't do all the things that you normally do as children in the Catholic faith but it took me well into adulthood (and only after having children) to make the choice.
You have plenty of time to baptize her. Can you compromise?
First of all, realize that all kids, no matter what the "church situation" is at home, will eventually ask questions about religion. I know many couples where either just one of them goes to church, or they each go to a different church.
I was raised Catholic but attend a Lutheran church. My husband was also raised Catholic, but he attends a Catholic church. I laugh that we go our own ways on Sunday mornings. Once in awhile and on holidays we go to each other's church.
Our baby son is getting baptized this month. It was very important to my husband that he be baptized at his Catholic church. I am fine with it--I consider it a compromise. Also, as a practical matter, my Lutheran church will "recognize" my son's baptism at the Catholic church, while the reverse would not be true. If my son decides to continue to worship at a Catholic church, he can now go on to get First Communion and Confirmation without the hassle of arranging his own baptism.
I was baptized Catholic when I was 7, a week before I received my first communion. I was actually kind of humiliated to be so old. I was baptized during a mass and there were kids from my school there. I felt really embarassed.
Ultimately, this is for you and your husband to decide. You need to cut your FIL out of the equation. Tell your husband that all the baptisms and masses in the world won't "bind" your child to the Catholic church. Only your daughter will know what's in her heart, and when she is old enough, she will choose to worship or not.
Dear Theresa,
Being a devout Catholic myself, I always feel sad when I hear of parents in "mixed marriages" struggling to find a way to raise their children in Christ without offending their non-practicing relatives.
If you are truly being called to raise your children Christian, then you should have your children baptised. If you consider yourself a devout Catholic, then you are morally obligated by the tenents of the faith to Baptise your child without delay. The Church does not require that either you or your husband be actively practicing the faith to have your child baptised, but it does require you baptise the child in the Church, and to provide for their catholic education and formation as they grow up. This should alleviate some of the concerns of your husband and father-in-law. They will not need to be involved if they don't wish.
The CAtholic faith is rich with so much tradition. If this is you and your family's heritage, it would be sad to lose this. Before resorting to conversion to another faith or practicing no faith at all to appease others, please pray and discern, and most certainly consult with a priest for guidance in this matter.
It is complicated, but with prayer, patience and the guidance of a good priest, I don't see why you shouldn't be able to pursue a Catholic baptism, with the complete blessing of your husband and his family. I think they just need a better understanding of Catholicism.
***One last note. Many people have referred to baptism as being the child's "official" acceptance of his/her faith.
Baptism is the community's welcoming of that child into the faith, and the parent's promise to raise that child in the Faith. In the Catholic faith, Confirmation at the age of 12 (when the Church deems a child mature enough to make a decision on their own) is the sacrament administered when one is to freely choose on their own to practice the faith.
I have attached a pastoral letter from the Bishop of Sante Fe diocese on this very topic. Perhaps in the interim of talking with a priest, this will help your husband better understand the faith, and why baptism is important. I hope this helps and will keep you in prayer. For further support and information, contact Sonya Goins or Kathy Laird at the Office of Marriage and Family Life at the Archdiocese of ST. Paul and Minneapolis at 651-291-4400.
Pastoral Letter on Infant Baptism
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
I greet you in the name of Jesus Christ, our Savior, who brings us good news for our lives here on earth and calls us to eternal joy in the life to come! I write this pastoral letter to you, dear people, at the request of the pastors of the Archdiocese who are concerned about some pastoral issues related to Baptism.
In Baptism we become sons and daughters of God and members of His holy Church. Through Baptism all our sins are taken away, both original sin and personal sin. The words of Jesus are clear "Amen, Amen, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God". (John 3:5) Consequently, since Baptism is necessary for salvation, the Church baptizes not only adults but infants as well.
Infant Baptism
Not many years ago, even the most lax Catholics saw to the prompt Baptism of their children. Now, however, a number of pastors have told me that some Catholic parents see no urgency in having their children baptized. Some of these parents simply have failed to make it a priority. Others have said they want to have the child decide on his or her own whether or not to be baptized and to determine when he or she wants to receive it. In doing this they are neglecting a serious duty they have as parents. Any Catholic parent who delays Baptism for more than a few months may be in danger of serious sin. If the infant is in danger of death, it is to be baptized without any delay, if need be, even by a lay person. (Canon 867)
What good parents would give their children the option of going to school or not going to school? What parents would hesitate to teach their children their own spiritual and ethical values at the earliest age?
Just as citizenship at birth does not take away political freedom at a later age, infant baptism does not take away religious freedom when the child matures. Upon reaching maturity, every person is free to accept or reject Christ but if a person does not first know Him, how can one be free to accept or reject Him?
The baptism of children has been a constant practice of the Church from earliest times. In the Acts of the Apostles (16:15) St. Paul baptizes a devout woman named Lydia near Philippi and her household with her. Later, St. Paul baptizes the jailer with his whole family (Acts 16:33). We believe that Paul baptized the children as well as the adults. Many other scripture passages indicate the same practice.
Parents
The Baptism of infants would be meaningless if there was not a well founded hope of the Christian upbringing of the children. The parents supply the act of faith for their infants until such time as they can profess a mature Christian faith on their own. Therefore the Church insists on the parents making a solemn promise to raise their children Catholic. It is the ministry of the godparents to assist the parents in this duty. At a minimum, this means that the parents will have their children educated in the Catholic faith and receive the Sacraments of Baptism, Penance, Holy Communion, and Confirmation at the proper time.
Pastoral Concerns
I am grateful to our pastors for the ministry they exercise in preparing parents for the baptism of their children. They are responsible for implementing the pastoral norms we follow in the Archdiocese on Baptism and the other Sacraments.
While we must provide the parents with Baptismal classes, the instruction must not be unduly burdensome, should be offered frequently and provision should be made for those who honestly cannot attend the required classes without undue hardship.
All the Catholic faithful who live within the boundaries of our parishes have a right to present their children for Baptism, whether they are registered or not. (However, isn't this an excellent opportunity to register them?)
The Church requires that the parents make a serious promise to raise the child Catholic. It does not require that the parents themselves be practicing, as ideal as that would be. Baptism and the subsequent formation of the child's faith often helps those parents return to the practice of their faith. We should presume good will on the part of the parents that seek to have their children baptized and remember the basic principal that when in doubt, we should administer the sacrament.
We should also insist on qualified godparents who are practicing Catholics in accord with Church law and our own Archdiocesan norms.
Conclusion
It is with joy that I see thousands of children in our Archdiocese reborn each year in Baptism and see our Catholic faith, brought to this land over 400 years ago, passed on to the next generation of believers. May God bless the parents who bring their children to Christ! May God reward our hard working pastors who are spiritually shepherding our young people! May we all seek to live out our Baptism as joyful and faithful followers of Jesus!
Most Rev. Michael J. Sheehan
Archbishop of Santa Fe
March 2000
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I would talk to your husband about it, and not, as someone else said, just do it whether he likes it or not. That can only cause problems. Try to talk to him about keeping your FIL out of his decisionmaking. If your FIL gets his way this time, just think about what else he is going to stick his nose in over the next 18 years, you know? And tell him how much it means to you. I mean, if she gets baptized and he doesn't believe in it, then it isn't really hurting anything, you know? It's "just water", right? But for you, believing that this is an important sacrament and being denied this for your child, it is a BIG deal. Ask him to do it because it is important to you if for no other reason.
I believe the rule of thumb for when parents absolutely cannot agree on a parenting issue is that the parent who feels most strongly about that issue "wins." It would seem in this case that you have the stronger feelings - he's just avoiding the issue. If he doesn't want to upset his dad, just don't tell him!
I don't understand why some people object so strongly to infant baptism, other than that they don't understand that it is not the same thing as, for instance, baptism in a Baptist church. (Been there, done that, both. No regrets.) A catholic baptism is for welcoming a child into the community and promising to watch over and help her. What could be the harm in that?
Everyone is writing to you what they think is the "right" thing to do. If you are catholic, then you need to get her baptised. When it comes to getting your husband to "go along with it, " please inform him that this is your moral obligation. Please sit down with your priest and husband and have the priest explain this sacrament to him. You owe it to your daughter.
I don't believe in baptizing babies at all. I think all babies are innocent and pure and hold no sins.
I believe in letting it be the child's choice when they are that age of knowing right from wrong etc. usually around 7-10 years of age.
I truly feel for you!
My hubby & I got married in the Catholic church and the same thing happened to me.
Both our children were baptized, but only one got confirmed. And neither go to church because their dad doesn't.
You need to do what you feel is right without upsetting your husband. But your hubby needs to make some compromises to and tell him the doctor cut the umbilical cord a long time ago! You are now a family and regardless of what your parents think, you do what's in the best interest of your family.
Many Blessings to you and your family,
If we only knew these things before we fell in love with them and married them! And I knew my guy for 4 years! before we got married. His family was nothing short of being in our business though! One sister in particular!
Jill
Baptism is all about the Holy Spirit. Through baptism the Holy Spirit comes to the one being baptized. This is less about tradition and more about the Holy Spirit. Apart from the Holy Spirit there will be no convincing your husband. This is easy to say and hard to do, but I would back off talking to your husband about it for a time, and pray to God to soften your husband's heart about it instead. This way, you show respect to your husband, and let God do the convincing. As for those asking you, you might tell them that it is a matter for prayer, and invite them to pray for your family relationships to be unified and Christ-centered. God can work through this situation. Pray for God's will to be done--on earth as it is in heaven.
Here's my husband's input, as something to maybe say to your Hub: Just as you naturally introduce your baby to many friends and family, you'd like to introduce your baby to your close friend--Jesus. Is this really so different? This is the beginning of a relationship with your close friend that you would like to establish now.
The other part is the community of believers promising to uphold the child in the instruction of the faith.
Introduction
Every serious student of the New Testament would agree that
baptism is a very important teaching. The question is: Just
how important is it? Jesus' lasts words in the Gospel of
Matthew were, "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations,
baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and
of the Holy Spirit..." (Matthew 28:18-19). Peter was asked by
the people, "What must we do to be saved?" He said, "Repent
and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ
so that your sins may be forgiven" (Acts 2:38). Anything linked
this closely with the Great Commission and salvation is of
utmost importance.
Despite the Bible's clarity regarding the importance of baptism,
it continues to be one of the most misunderstood doctrines in
the church today. Well-recognized Christian denominations
vary greatly in their understanding of baptism and its
importance. For example, the Church of Christ teaches that if
you are not baptized "for the remission of sins," then you are
not a true Christian. I had a Church of Christ friend tell me in
college that Billy Graham is not a Christian for this reason. The
Lutheran and Catholic Church practice infant baptism and teach
that it is at the moment of baptism that the baby becomes a
"child of God." The Presbyterians emphasize the covenant
relationship which God establishes with the infant at the time of
baptism. They see New Testament baptism replacing Old
Testament circumcision. Others like the Baptists, Assembly of
God, and many independent churches hold to what is call
believer's baptism (i.e., that baptism is an outward sign of an
inward change, and thus should be done only after an individual
has believed in Christ as Savior and Lord).
I was raised in a church that practiced infant baptism. I became
a follower of Jesus Christ when I was 17 years old. During
college someone challenged me to examine what the bible
teaches concerning baptism. At that point, I could not simply
rely upon what my church or father (who happened to be the
pastor) taught. I had to go to God's Word for myself, and that is
what I am encouraging you to do through this tract. "All
Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking,
correcting, and training in righteousness, so that the man of
God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work" (2
Timothy 3:16-17).
I have entitled this tract "Biblical Baptism" because I desire to
go back to God's clear Word for the answers to some basic
issues such as: What does baptism mean? How is one to be
baptized? Is baptism necessary for salvation? Who should be
baptized? Is infant baptism biblical? Why be baptized? And
who should do it? I do not pretend to have the whole truth on
this subject. There are some issues that are not crystal clear.
However, I have found the Bible to be convincingly
unambiguous on the aspects of baptism THAT are most
important. It is my prayer that as you carefully read this tract,
the Holy Spirit will give you insight into His precious Word, so
that you might be fully obedient to Christ in this area.
What Does Baptism Mean?
The English word baptism comes from the Greek word
baptismos which means to dip, immerse, or plunge something
underneath water. The word's secular use was for the dipping
of cloth in a dye in order to color the cloth. It was also used for
the drawing of water by dipping a vessel into another (Vines
Expository Dictionary, p. 97). In addition, the word referred to
the sinking of a ship. Martin Luther stated, "Baptism is
baptismos in Greek, and mersio in Latin, and it means to plunge
something completely into the water so that the water covers
it" (Works, Vol. 25, p. 29).
This literal meaning of the word is a beautiful picture of what
baptism represents, namely the Christian's identification with
the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Romans
6:3-4 tells us: "Don't you know that all of us who were baptized
into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? We were
therefore buried with Him through baptism into death in order
that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory
of the Father, we too may live a new life." I have heard that
years ago in England some baptismal tanks were built with 8
sides so as to appear as a coffin. This was to clearly portray
the baptismal candidate's death to his/her old life. Baptism is a
picture of the Christian's crucifixion with Christ (Galatians 2:20),
death to sin and the old nature (Romans 6:6), and the
resurrection to newness of life that occurs the moment one
repents and places his/her faith in Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:17).
How Is One To Be Baptized?
The meaning of the word baptismos gives us a hint as to the
most proper mode of baptism. As Luther stated, the word
clearly means to "plunge something completely into the water."
Every baptism in the New Testament THAT gives any hint as to
how it was done indicates that baptism was done by immersion
only. John the Baptist baptized where there was "plenty of
water" (John 3:23). After Jesus was baptized He came "up out
of the water..." (Mark 1:10). When Philip baptized the Ethiopian
eunuch, God's Word says, "Philip and the eunuch went down
into the water and Philip baptized him. When they came up out
of the water, the Spirit of the Lord suddenly took Philip
away..." (Acts 8:38-39).
Furthermore, immersion, as opposed to sprinkling, most clearly
communicates the truth of our total identification in the Lord's
death, burial, and resurrection (Romans 6:3-4). When the
individual goes under the water, this represents his/her death to
sin and self. Coming up out of the water represents our
resurrection and newness of life. Baptism by sprinkling just
doesn't portray these truths as vividly. The most biblical mode
of baptism is immersion.
In addition, another aspect of baptism that is meaningful is the
use of water. Water is used to wash and cleanse. For those of
us who have received Christ by faith, the blood of Jesus has
washed our sins away and cleansed us from all sin and
defilement. The use of water in baptism is a wonderful
representation of this cleansing power of the blood of Jesus.
Baptism by sprinkling simply falls short of adequately
representing the Christian's complete cleansing. "And now what
are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins
away, calling on His name" (Acts 22:16).
Is Baptism Necessary For Salvation?
It is not the actual act of being baptized that brings about the
cleansing from sin. Rather, it is the "calling on His name" or
"pledge to God for a clear conscience" that brings about
salvation. "And this water symbolizes baptism that now saves
you also-not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a
good conscience toward God. It saves you by the resurrection of
Jesus Christ..." (1 Peter 3:21). The act of baptism in no way
saves a person. Salvation is always based solely on the work of
Christ at the cross and our faith in that work (see Ephesians 2:8-
9).
Some groups will use such passages as 1 Peter 3:21 to say that
baptism saves us. However, this very verse specifically states
that the actual act of baptism does not save anyone. The key
issue in this verse (as is the key issue in salvation) is the appeal
to God for a clear conscience. To teach that one must be
baptized to be saved is adding to the work of Jesus. Whenever
someone adds anything (including something as important as
baptism) to the cross of Christ, they are teaching a different
gospel (see Galatians 1).
Jesus told the thief on the cross that "today you will be with me
in Paradise," and this person was never baptized. Furthermore,
Paul said in 1 Corinthians 1:17, "For Christ did not send me to
baptize, but to preach the gospel." If baptism were necessary for
salvation, I do not think Paul would here separate baptism from
the Gospel.
There are certainly a few passages in the Bible (like Acts 2:38
and Mark 16:16) that at first glance appear to make baptism
essential for salvation. Let us examine both of these carefully.
Concerning Acts 2:38 ("Repent and be baptized, every one of
you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins.
And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit."), we must
remember that in the first century, as opposed to today, baptism
was done very quickly after receiving Christ. Therefore, in
speaking of the salvation experience, it would be very easy to
mention baptism with salvation. This would be similar to
someone today speaking of their salvation as the time in which
they "went forward" at a Billy Graham crusade. Obviously going
forward is not what saved them, but they may go forward to
indicate that they want to place their faith in Christ for salvation.
Therefore, when that person talks about their experience he/she
may refer to it as the day they "went forward and got saved."
This may be the way in which Peter says "repent and be
baptized...And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit" (Acts
2:38).
Concerning Mark 16:16, we must remember that this verse is
very debatable because many of the earliest and most reliable
Greek manuscripts of the Gospel of Mark do not even contain
these verses. Most of our Bibles will mention this fact in a
footnote on the same page with Mark 16:16. In many of these
more reliable manuscripts, the book of Mark ends at vs. 8 of
chapter 16. However, if vs. 9-19 are to be included in Spiritinspired
Scripture we might note that the first part of this verse
says "Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved," but the
second part of the verse says "but whoever does not believe will
be condemned." The second part of the verse does not say
"whoever does not believe and is not baptized will be
condemned."
Acts 2:38 and Mark 16:16 are the only verses that even come
close to suggesting that we have to be baptized in order to be
saved. On the other hand, Scripture contains hundreds of
verses which speak only of Christ's death and our faith in His
work to save us. Let us not be misled by those who confuse the
Scriptures and add to the cross of our wonderful Lord. Acts
10:47 says: "Can anyone keep these people from being
baptized with water? They have received the Holy Spirit just as
we have." In other words, these people were saved and had the
Holy Spirit to prove it, and yet they were not baptized.
A pastor from Haiti that I met a few years ago said it well: "A
person does not need to be baptized to be saved, but if a
person is saved he/she needs to be baptized." Baptism is
necessary for obedience. Have you been baptized since you
trusted in Jesus?
Who Should Be Baptized?
The verses that we just looked at do point to something very
important, and that is how the Word of God always speaks of
baptism in the context of salvation. More specifically, baptism is
to immediately follow one's acceptance of Christ. Once again,
Peter said in Acts 10:47, "Can anyone keep these people from
being baptized with water? They have received the Holy Spirit
just as we have." Those who are to be baptized are those who
have received the Holy Spirit. In Acts 2:41 we read "those who
accepted his message were baptized." First, they accepted the
message, and then they were baptized. In Acts 8:12 "when they
believed Philip as he preached the good news of the kingdom of
God and the name of Jesus Christ, they were baptized."
Baptism did not come before believing, but rather after placing
faith in Christ. God's Word is clear: Baptism is the next step
of obedience after receiving Jesus Christ as Savior and
Lord.
Is Infant Baptism Biblical?
Therefore, to baptize someone before they are able to receive
Christ is taking baptism and putting it into a context in which it
was never intended to be placed. To be quite honest, I see
absolutely no biblical support for infant baptism. If you know of
any, please let me know. Often people use Jesus' words "let the
little children come to Me" (Luke 18:16) as support for infant
baptism. The problem is that this verse has nothing to do with
baptism. Jesus was simply referring to the kind of faith we are to
have when we come to Him (see Luke 18:16). In addition, when
the book of Acts talks of entire households being baptized, let us
remember that none of these passages mention the ages of the
children. Thus, we cannot assume that infants were included in
these "households." Furthermore, many of the passages THAT
refer to entire households being baptized also mention that the
entire household believed (see Acts 2:39-41; 16:31-34; & 18:8),
meaning that the entire household was old enough to exercise
saving faith. The biblical pattern is faith in Christ and then
baptism.
Since a baby has no ability to make a decision to place his/her
faith in Christ, it is reversing the biblical order to baptize an
infant. Why put something that is biblically associated with
salvation in the context of an infant that has no ability to exercise
saving faith? Those who practice infant baptism will stress the
faith of the parents, but God's Word never suggests that one can
enter the kingdom of God upon the faith of another. In addition,
when churches teach that the baby becomes a child of God at
the moment of baptism, they are giving the parents as well as
the child a false and unbiblical assurance of eternal salvation. I
went to church every Sunday for 17 years without ever hearing
that I needed to personally receive Christ as Savior and
surrender my life to Him. This is because it was assumed that I
was a Christian since I had been baptized as an infant. This
assumption is presently leading many astray in churches that
practice infant baptism.
Some would argue that it is OK to baptize an infant as long as
you don't teach that the baby is saved. In other words, it is OK
to use baptism to dedicate a child. Once again, to do so
reverses the biblical order. In addition, once the child does
receive Christ as Savior and Lord, they are still commanded to
be baptized. If you want to encourage them to fully obey the
Word of God then you should encourage them to be baptized
again.
Why Do So Many Churches Baptize Infants?
You may ask, "If the biblical evidence so strongly supports
baptism after salvation, then why do so many churches practice
infant baptism?" I have often pondered this question. It is my
belief that these churches have put tradition before the Word of
God. I think Jesus would say to such churches today what He
said in Mark 7: "Their teachings are but rules taught by men.
You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to
the traditions of men...You have a fine way of setting aside the
commands of God in order to observe your own traditions"(Mark
7:7b-9). It is much easier to continue doing things "because we
have always done them this way" than to seriously filter all of our
traditions and practices through the Word of God. We must be
willing to change any tradition that is not supported by Scripture.
Why Be Baptized?
So, if the Bible does not support infant baptism and does support
believer's baptism, then why should we be baptized? The first
and foremost reason is in obedience to our Lord. Jesus Christ
commanded us to be baptized. It is an essential part of
discipleship. "Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing
them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy
Spirit" (Matthew 28-19). If this is the only reason someone is
baptized, it is a good enough reason. If you are a Christian and
have not been baptized since you believed, God's Word
commands you to be baptized. Christ will be pleased with your
obedience. Others will be blessed by your statement of faith.
You may respond, "But I don't fully understand it." We do not
have to fully understand something (in this case you may never)
to obey it.
You may ask, "What if I was 'baptized' as an infant and have
since received Christ?" In light of the above discussion, you
must ask yourself: "Was my infant 'baptism' biblical?" If you
conclude that it was not, then you have not been biblically
baptized and need to be baptized by immersion as the Bible
teaches.
Is it biblical to be baptized a second time even though Ephesians
4:4 says "one baptism?" I think so, because in Acts 19:1-5 Paul
re-baptized some disciples at Ephesus as a result of getting their
doctrine straightened out. I got my doctrine straightened out in
college. As a result, I was baptized by immersion.
Secondly, we are to be baptized as a way of following Christ's
example. I am amazed that the perfect Son of God was
baptized. He certainly did not need to repent nor be cleansed.
However, He was baptized to "fulfill all righteousness" (Matthew
3:15). As His followers, we are to "walk as Jesus did" (1 John
2:67). This would certainly include following His example of
being baptized. It will help us fulfill our righteousness.
Thirdly, baptism serves as a seal of our righteousness. In light of
the above discussion, I see baptism as the act that seals the
salvation experience. As I have previously stated, one does not
need to be baptized to be saved and go to heaven. However, it
so closely corresponds to one's salvation that you could say
baptism seals the justification experience and begins the
sanctification experience. Let me explain. Justification means to
be declared righteous. This takes place the moment we trust in
Christ alone for our salvation (Romans 5:1). Sanctification is the
process of becoming like Jesus through trust and obedience
(Romans 8:29). Baptism is the first step of obedience for a new Christian and begins the lifelong journey of becoming like Christ.
This is probably one of the reasons why new Christians in the
book of Acts were baptized immediately after being saveD (see
Acts 8:36-38; 16:14-15, 31-34). Should we not do the same
today?
Fourthly, baptism testifies to others and the devil that we are a
follower of Jesus. Romans 10:9-19 says, "If you confess with
your mouth 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God
has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved." Baptism can
be one way (not the only way) to confess with your mouth that
Jesus is your Lord. Jesus said, "If anyone is ashamed of Me
and My words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when He
comes in His glory and in the glory of the Father" (Luke 9:26).
Through your baptism, boldly proclaim to others that you are a
follower of Jesus Christ. Allow the church the privilege to rejoice
with you in your salvation.
Church history also contains records of baptisms being the event
in which the new believer would renounce the devil and all of his
works (see The Apostolic Traditions of Hippolytus). Some
candidates would make a bold declaration to the devil, as if he
were present himself: "I renounce thee Satan, and all thy
service and all thy work," or "I renounce Satan, and all his works
and all his angels and all his pomp" (The Baptismal Liturgy).
Through your baptism, boldly proclaim to the devil that you are
no longer his slave. You have been taken out of the kingdom of
darkness and placed into the kingdom of light (Colossians 1:13).
I often ask those that I baptize, "Do you renounce the devil and
all of his works in your life?" After which they say, "I renounce
the devil and all of his works in my life."
Who Should Baptize?
Just as all Christians are given the Great Commission in
Matthew 28:18-20 to go into all the world and make disciples, so
are all Christians called as part of the Great Commission to
baptize those disciples. Many today think that baptisms must be
done only be an ordained pastor. This idea is nowhere found in
God's Word. I do think some precautions are necessary in order
to assure that the person being baptized is truly a child of God
and understands what he/she is doing. However, I do not think
this precaution means that a pastor has to do the baptism. As a
pastor myself, I often encourage parents to baptize their children
and those who have led a person to Christ to baptize that person
they led to Christ. Baptism is part of making disciples.
Conclusion
The purpose of this tract is to assist you in being obedient to our
wonderful Lord. It has not been my intention to inappropriately
criticize other churches, but merely to expose teachings and
practices THAT contradict the perfect Word of God. May you be
led by the Spirit and His Word in your walk with Jesus.
Have you been baptized by immersion since you believed in
the Lord Jesus? If not, don't you think it is time to do so? Obey
Jesus and be blessed.
"Whoever has My commands and obeys them,
he is the one who loves Me. He who loves Me
will be loved by My Father, and I too will love
him and show myself to him" (John 14:21).
Pastor David Holt has served as Senior Pastor
of First Evangelical Free Church since 1990.
He is a graduate of Trinity Evangelical Divinity School
where he earned Master of Divinity,
Master of Theology, and Doctor of Ministry degrees.
He is married to Dede and they have four children.
While everyone has a right to offer their opinions (which is why you asked), I'm not sure why the ramblings regarding baptism.... unless I misunderstood, you are Catholic and don't need convincing.
I too, am Catholic, and am fortunate to be married to a Catholic. Before I met him, I knew I may have to be open to finding someone who was christian, but not necessarily Catholic- but these issues were always on the forefront. I knew I could never leave the Catholic church... I think that, as you discussed this before your marriage and he agreed to this, it's completely unfair of him to change his mind and backtrack now. Not saying he doesn't have a right to his opinion, but there are certain things that aren't negotiable, especially if he didn't speak up previously. It's completely unfair of him to do this, ESPECIALLY as he doesn't even belong to a particular church or follow a particular faith. It sounds like it's more about your FIL than your husband anyway. It needs to be your choice, and if they don't support it or choose not to attend, that's their decision... but I'd fight for this. Being Catholic, you know the importance of being Baptized....
Good luck
My husband is Jewish/he jokingly says, pagan/ and I am a reformed protestant and have attended church in a few different faiths. My faith is important to me, but I also do not push it on my children. Both of them are baptized and my husband agreed to it, because "it would be easier for them later" if they wanted to join a church. There are many strong benefits of building community for our kids/the faith community is only one option of many. Perhaps explore with your husband what he is interested in doing to build relationships (external to your immediate family) in which strong moral and loving relationships can be fostered. If your husband is not a believer, nothing from the bible is going to change his mind (except maybe prayer or a shot of lightning). :) joke here - sorry. Anyway, as a sign of family unity, I hope you can get this sacrament performed. I didn't make a big deal out of it with our kids, but I am grateful that it's done. Not because I feel like I've done something to save their souls, but because it was a nice ceremony honoring the baby/child and it welcomes them to a community that I think is important (and can be found world-wide if and when the child needs it.) The baptism certificate is sort of like a passport. Maybe he'd like that analogy. Good luck and Blessings to you.
And p.s. My father was a huge influence on all of us, sometimes good, sometimes maybe not so good. But he loved us so much and he died of pancreatic cancer last year. Don't minimize your husband's respect for his dad - but encourage balance. You and your husband now have a lifetime for him to shift out of his habits with his family of origin as the 2 of you build your own way. But it takes a lifetime of little steps and doesn't happen overnight. Your husband is lucky to have a dad who probably does care in his own way. And that relationship is what you're likely to see many, many years from now with your own children and your husband. (and I hope and pray that's a good thing for you!) They say that father's presence and influence in kids' lives influences kids differently than a mom's presence but that it's equally as important. Say a prayer for both of them, take a deep breath, and relax yourself first so that it's not a power struggle.
Theresa, this one is a pretty touchey subject especially since it's religion. The main thing to remember is that despite what your family may think, this is your child and your decisions are the only ones that count (rather like where you choose to send your child to school and why). I am Catholic as well and was married in the Roman Catholic Church. My husband is Methodist but for the past 13 years has preferred to attend the Episcopalian church. We attend one together. Our child who is now 3 yrs old has not yet been baptized. Why? Because I have not yet made the decision as to whether I want him baptized in the Roman Catholic Church or the Episcopalian church. My husband does not care which religion. He only wishes that our child be brought up with some type of spiritual education (unfortunately, my hubby never rec'd any when he was a child). He does say that he would like it if we could wait until our child is old enough to understand that he is being baptized.
Good luck! When my parents or family members or friends ask why he hasn't been baptized yet, I simply say that we haven't made the decision for it to happen. (But perhaps, we've already had to weather touchey subjects like this since my husband, my son and I all have different last names. I kept my last name at marriage and then we chose to give our son a different last name when he was born. (It's neither my hubby or my last name.)My side just thought, "oh well, that's cherry." but my husband's family didn't approve and would tell us so. We simply said, "That's what we chose to do. If he wishes to change his name when he gets older, he can do so." and just leave it at that.
Teresa,
My families are of mixed religions - Catholics, Lutherans, Methodists, and Jewish. Having watched my sister struggle with the inter-faith problem, my husband and I discussed the religion issue before we were married. Basically, I insisted that any children we had would be baptized and raised Lutheran, period. He had no issue with that because at the time he was pretty ambivalent about religion (he was raised Methodist and Jewish at the same time). He still has no problem with it and in fact attends church occasionally with us.
I did not breathe easy until my youngest son was baptized - especially as he'd been critically ill at birth.
While baptism is not, Confirmation IS a contract with the Church. It's membership in the church and a contract with God. It is not something to be taken lightly - just as baptism should not be treated as "optional". If you're truly Catholic you understand that Baptism was a command of Christ, not a suggestion and it wasn't optional.
From your own message you say you're willing to wait. That means you don't want her baptized because it's a Sacrament and the command of Christ, you're doing it for traditional reasons. Me? I'd be more worried about her eternal soul than what my family or my husband's family thinks.
Your husband doesn't view your religious beliefs as that important or valid because YOU have not been treating them as important as they sound. You're selectively choosing which Church rituals are important to you based on your situation rather than beliefs. Your actions speak louder than your words in this case and your husband sees that.
The only advice I can give you is to tell your family that it's none of their business. Ultimately it's up to you and your husband, not them. When they ask when you're having her baptized just reply "When we're ready" and leave it at that. Eventually they'll stop bothering to ask, though it may be that they're just concerned for her as well and that's why they ask. Maybe it's their gentle reminder that she should be baptized according to your faith and they don't understand why you are choosing to ignore the commands of God and compromising your faith in order to keep the peace.