Think things through, document everything you can - and then stand up for your child. If the teacher is uncooperative, be sure to meet with the Principle or Vice-Principle - whatever the practice is at your school. If you don't get satisfaction there, contact the Superintendent or School Board. Can't let this kind of behaviour continue to affect our children. Can't let this kind of behaviour be taught to new teachers in training. Be sure you have all your information documented so you aren't seeming to pull stuff randomly out of your head. The children can't protect themselves in this kind of situation. Great Grandma of 7.
Hi Ashley,
Normally I would have recommended talking with the teacher first before doing anything else (and maybe that would be the best route.) However, since someone in her class has already said that she won't change her behavior, the next step would be to go to the principal. If he/she won't take action, then go to the school board.
I had a similar situation many years ago with a baseball coach. Unfortunately I ended up just pulling my son off his team and registering him with another league. I regret not pursuing getting this coach disciplined and/or removed from coaching as I'm convinced that he damaged many children through his actions - not only the ones that were hurt by the comments, but the others that were influenced to pick up his behavior.
So, good luck to you and I hope you will pursue getting this situation fixed, not only for your child but for the others in the class as well. This will be a tough fight but hang in there.
Cate
Oh goodness! I would definitely report her not only to the school authorities, but also to whatever local authorities are in your area designed to protect children. This is verbal abuse, and no child should have to listen to it.
Hi Ashley,
Parents have a powerful voice at school. (I know this first hand within my line of work as well as being a parent.) But you need to make sure your voice is one that will be heard. I have read through all your responses, and I think the best advice you're getting involves doing your homework on how to approach this situation professionally, DOCUMENTING the teacher's and the student teacher's remarks, and then approaching the teacher and the principal. The teacher needs to be severely disciplined and the student teacher needs to have a better mentor so that this kind of behavior discontinues. Make sure your accusations are well-founded and try not to focus on what the teacher has said to other children in the class unless you personally heard it. Other parents need to get involved, too!!
If the new principal is smart, this will stop immediately. If not, then don't hesitate to go up the ladder a bit. Again, I emphasize, start with documentation, then go to the teacher AND the principal (don't wait for things to change in the classroom as they most likely will not, but be sure the teacher is aware of your concerns before addressing your complaints to the principal).
Good luck! Your daughter is lucky to have a mom who is concerned enough about the situation to take a step. If you're the first one, others will inevitably follow.
Hi Ashley,
Take her out of that abusive classroom. If it were on fire you would not let your daughter stay in there. I would set up a appointment with the principle and the teacher to express your concern for your daughters mental health/education. This is totally unacceptable behavior from a elementry teacher~!!! She needs to go if she chooses not to change her attitude. you not only have rights but by taking your child out of the classroom they are losing valuable funds for there school programs. Let your voice be heard. See if there are any other parents that feel the same way. I do have a adopted child and if a teacher said that to my daughter...Let's just say it wouold not be financially fiscal for the school or the teacher~!!! Hope this helps...Don't let them bully or talk down to you either. Bless you~!
Hi, Ashley:
You do not, under any circumstances, tolerate this. You need to document what your daughter tells you the teacher says, speak to other parents about it also, and then go to the principle and demand that this teacher be removed or that your daughter be transferred to another class. Far too often children are made out to be instigators of these situations, etc., but do not stand for that excuse from anyone. A teacher should be able to patiently speak to all children, even those they do not like, do not think are well-behaved, etc. There is so much pressure on children nowadays to perform in school that the last thing these little ones need is another voice telling them they are no good.
Just remember, this is your child, and your voice should be listened to by the school NO MATTER WHAT! If they don't listen to you, you can always take other steps.
Be strong!
Lisa
You need to go to the principal and let him/her know of your concerns. You can also try talking to other parents and find out who has similar concerns, and maybe draft a letter to give to the principal with signatures of all concerned parents...or get them to also write their own letter. The more people that get involved, the better chance of coming to a resolution.
If you do not get results from going to the principal, go to the school district and lodge a complaint - again using the letter with other signatures so that the district has an idea of how many parents are frustrated with this issue. When sending in the letter to the district, make sure that the principal is also aware that you have gone over his/her head. It is unfortunate that complaints have been lodged in the past and not resolved, but that doesn't mean you can't do anything. Again, try to get other parents involved so that it doesn't sound like you are the only one complaining. Good luck!
Get them out of that school today.
I am 52 years old and have a 6 year old ADOPTED son who is in a nurturing and loving environment where he is wanted, loved, cared for and encouraged and that included appropriate discipline...you want your girls to love school and respect teachers and adults and for them to want to learn, not be critisized or belittled for no apparent reason.
This teacher is not well mentally and should be fired, but be sure that you have everything documented and that you have witnesses.
You know the best thing for your daughters.
While the "right" thing to do would be set up a meeting with the teacher, meet with the principal, etc, I would first get my kid/s out of that school. This teacher could retaliate against your children given her state of mind.
Do best for your kids first and don't take them back to that school on Tuesday.
Hello,
Take your daughter out of the class ASAP, because your daughter can make friends some where else. You can also get the friend's phone numbers and make playdates with them outside class. I can't believe why the school and the parents tolerate this abuse of their sweet children. You are a good mother asking for help and when you are getting so angry about this you know you want to do something about it so you go for it. Your daughter is very important and needs her mom to protect her mental abuse is just as bad or worse then physical abuse. I speak from experience. I wish you and your daughters well.
First thing I think you need to do is talk to the principal, I would also find out what school this student teacher is taking classes at and talk to her professors.
I would also suggest that you ask the principal if you might be able to video the class for some relatives, and hopefully catch these teachers being nasty, then you take it to the board of supervisors.
Remember these teachers work for you and your kids. I understand that your daughter wants to stay with friends but obviously this isn't the best place for. Maybe you could talk to the other parents and a group of you could go to the higher ups. Good Luck, I really think it is getting harder and harder to find good teachers.
If this teacher is mean now, she will not improve unless she is either continually called on the carpet by her administrator or fired out right. If the things she says hurt her students feelings I would complain loud and often. Your "someone" that said it won't end is correct if you fail to change this situation by being involved. Than that teacher will earn tenure and will not be fired for any reason barring criminal behavior. Is that acceptable to you? It doesn't sound like it. Call the principal and the parents of every other student in that class and document every time there is an incident.
I agree with you that her behavior is unacceptable. Depending on the rules in your school district and state there possibly is little that can be done. Often teacher are very well protected and can't be dismissed unless they have done something criminal. That said, you still have a chance. I would begin documenting the incidents as specifically as possible enlisting the help of other parents in the class that you know that are also aware of the problem (or even past parents). I wouldn't hesitate to talk to the principal about it. Don't just voice your concerns but bring facts and incidents and dates. Ask directly what he/she intends to do about it and when it will be done.Follow up. Be a thorn in his/her side.
I would volunteer or observe in the class as much as possible, again enlisting the aid of other parents when possible (in my state California) at leastparents can not be denied access to their child's classroom). Adults are perceived as more believable than children. If nothing is done, have as many parents as possible make the superintendent aware of the problem and then school board members. Districts should have a procedure for complaints.
Children shouldn't have to be victimized by teachers like that and should be proctected but ultimately if you can't get anywhere with the system then we need to protect our own children. Look into other schools in the area that you might be able to transfer your children into. There are many fine charter schools which are publically funded in many places or if you're up to it homeschool your child for the remainder of the year and re-enter school next year with a new teacher. It's hard. I teach and am ashamed at the way that some teachers treat children.
I have been an elementary school secretary for 20 years and here is what I would suggest:
1 - Document everything in a letter to the classroom teacher and the principal. Make sure that you ask for a response in a timely manner (1 or 2 days - even principal's need time to investigate the problem)
2 - Make yourself a copy.
3 - Give it to the classroom teacher and take one to the office for the principal.
4 - If you don't hear from the principal with the 1 or 2 days, call and ask to speak with them.
5 - If you get no response after that, make a copy of your original letter and write a letter to the superintendent of the school district. Ask them for a timely response also.
Even a new principal should have support at the administrative level and principals have to have classroom teaching experience also, so...they should know how things like this can happen. Sometimes people do say the wrong things, but they need to show that they can correct them and explain it to the child. "I'm sorry" can go a long way! Students are also so sensitive to their teachers because they are the next thing to their parents. I don't think alot of people realize how many hours a day, a week, that their children spend at school. Some of our students are dropped off in our childcare at 7:00am and are picked up at 6:00pm. That's 11 hours a day and 55 hours a week. Tell me how many parents get to have that much quality time with their children these days. We become a very big and stable part of their lives. They look up to us as models and they expect the best of us. I believe that everyone that works with the students is an educator and we should all be setting good examples. Parents, although, are their child's first teachers. Remember, it's up to you to set the example of how to handle a problem. Read up on a program called "Conflict Resolution". It teaches us how to approach situations with compassion and understanding. Most of the time the anger comes from hurt feelings. The problem becomes emotional. It is good to remember that most of the time, the person that did the "hurting" doesn't even realize it. Patience is a virtue and it will always pay off. You and the teacher will probably come to wonderful understanding. I suggest volunteering in the classroom, if possible. You will get an insight into the daily goings-on. You will be able to tell if the teacher was just having a "bad" day, or they just can't handle the stress. One thing for sure is that people who get into the education business are not in it for the money. The heart is usually in the right place and that is to make our world better through teaching. They sometimes care to a fault. They are pretty emotional, too, because they do care so much. I hear frustration in their voices sometimes because they want to help their student and there are so many obstacles. These days, our young ones have so many things to deal with. Things that we never could imagine when we were little. Hang in there, there will be more to come, peer pressure is next! We are working on bullying and I believe Conflict Resolution training can prevent wars! If we learn to communicate our feelings effectively, we can change things. Take care and have a great school year!
Wow this sounds awful. How about a parent petition to get rid of her! I would definitely take my child out of the class. She sounds disturbed! Totally not appropriate!
Just my opinion!
Kathleen
Do you have firsthand knowledge of these incidents, or is it heresay? Perhaps you might volunteer in the classroom or on a fieldtrip, and see if you experience the same type of comments. Meeting with the teacher and sharing your understanding of how difficult and stressful her job must be, and that you were wondering how you might help, might get you on her side, so that once you have a closer rapport with her, you could bring up your concerns, e.g. "I know this job is very demanding, but I've heard some comments that seem innappropriate, and I was wondering if we could talk about it." If she is not amenable to that, your next step is to met with the Principal. You will be taken much more seriously if you go through these steps before going straight to the Principal.
I know it seems like a lot, but it's worth it in the long run! Good luck!
It's hard to imagine a teacher treating children that way. I am outraged at what you shared. Definately go to the pincipal then continue up the ladder until something is done. She needs to be on probation or let go all together. Let your daughter know she can make new friends in a new class and see her old friends at recess, but get her out of that enviornment!
Good Luck
Outrageous! As disruptive as it is, as long as you are certain all these incidents took place, I would take my children out of that school immediately. The fact that that school hired and tolerates this person is not a good sign. I am assuming the school is public. Of course you should bring up your concern with the principal, but I would let him or her take it from there. I would put my energy into figuring out where to put my kids rather than spending time writing to school district officials and so on. Your daughter(s) absence will speak for itself because schools lose funding when they lose students. I agree with one of the other people who brought up that such a person might single out your daughter to pick on if her mother is complaining. Get them out.
As an aside, my son's best friend left our school last year. I was awake nights worrying about how my son would deal with it. He has been absolutely fine. I think it's a bit "out of sight, out of mind" at this age (my son's also 6). Best of luck. You and your girls deserve much better.
This is completely unacceptable! I'm an experienced teacher and I also coach teachers. Calling your daughter a "creep" is namecalling. Would the teacher tolerate it if students in the class were calling each other names? Also, the teacher should be more aware of the impact of comments such as all of those that you mentioned. It goes beyond having a "nasty" mouth. What she is saying could have long lasting effects. The part about calling home and making your daughter out to be in the wrong may be a seperate issue, and it could possibly be that your daughter was indeed misbehaving and that the teacher doesn't know how to communicate about it (not enough detail there for me as an outsider to really know the context). Regardless, name-calling and discouraging comments which hurt students' self esteem should not be tolerated. You are angry for a good reason. You do need to say something, otherwise it may be true that it won't end, however HOW you say something is important. You want her to hear your concerns and not just get defensive. The title of your post was "student teacher". Is this a student teacher (one who is in training under the regular classroom teacher), or is it the classroom teacher? In either case, the first person you should talk to should be the classroom teacher. I recommend that you ask to make an appointment with her (this could even be a phone appointment). That way you will have a better chance of having her full attention as she won't be distracted by teaching/prep duties. It would also be a "neutral" time in the sense that it won't be seen as a "reaction" in the moment of anger. Also, just the fact that you are requesting an appointment gives your concerns some weight. Then tell her what your concerns are about the impact of her words. What someone else said is true...the teacher may not be completely aware of what she's saying and the impact it has, especially if it's a teacher who is under a great deal of stress. (It's amazing, but I've done formal observations on teachers and some have been surprised at what they said when I show them the data!) You need to communicate first with the teacher, but if the problem continues, then talk to the principal. A new principal may be feeling overwhelmed, however, it's the principal's job to hear concerns from parents, and these concerns are valid. Who were the complaints made to? Were they from other parents? Remember what they say about the squeeky wheel?...it's true.
Definitely talk to your principal, a parent liaison or a pta board member! Do you volunteer in the classroom? Are other parents seeing/hearing the same thing? Have you spoke to other parents in your child's class? Document what you are seeing/hearing. Try changing classrooms if possible. If you don't get any support I would look for a different school.
HI Ashley,
With all do respect - Get your butt to that school and make a complaint. And if it keeps happening, keep making complaints and talk to your childs schoolmate's parents and see if they have had any problems with this.
My son is in kindergarten and I absolutely would not tolerate this for one minute longer once I found out about it.
Sorry to be so blunt - but do you want your children to feel bad about themselves and have an "adult"; their teacher to be exact to talk to them like this or any other kids for that matter.
I hope it all works out.