I have a 5 year old that is normaly very well behaved. Recently my mom got breast cancer. It went from just haveing a lumpectoy to needing a mastectomy and now also needing radiation and Chem and fighting for her life. My mom and me (and my husband and kids) are all very close with her and my dad. Before she got sick we went over there every weekend. He started to do bad in school when he was doing really great in school. Then he started to act out and now he is not sleeping. I have had talks with him and my mom (who should not have to worry about this) had talked to him about how great she is feeling and how she is totaly getting better. I want my son to go and see her and I think this might help, but she is going to start Chemo soon and I am sure she will loose her hair and look different. How do handle this??? What do I tell him. I think my mom will be ok in the end. It dosn't sound like the cancer had spred to the point of not being able to beat it. I am not totaly sure this is the issue, but it all started when I told him we could not go to nannas this week because nanna was sick. He will go in his room to go to bed and I tuck him in and get him settled. About 30 sec latter he comes out of his room and tells me that he had a bad dream. I tell him that it's ok and to think of all the good things, i tuck him in again..... a few hours later I go to check on him again and he is playing in his room and in the livingroom watching tv or hiding close to my room somewhere. I have grounded him from things he likes, but that is not working. Also for school work he gives up so easy or just starts crying and tells me he can't do it and wont try. my husband and I always try to be really excited and up beat about homework and really make a big deal when he does good. Please help!!! My mom has 6 more months of hard treatments. I can't take dealing with my childs problems and trying to help my mom get better!!!!! do you think he is worried about his grandma or do you think it is a bad phase he is going through. How do I handle it????
I think all of you are stressed. Our kids pick up on how we are feeling better than we think and even though you are trying to put on a brave face, your son still knows Grandmas being sick is scaring you, and it's scaring him, too. Some acting out is to be expected and I'm not sure punishing him for being scared is the right approach. Here is a link to some info that might help:
http://www.cancer.org/docroot/ESN/content/ESN_2_1x_Helping_Your_Child_Deal_with_a_Family_Members_Cancer_Treatment.asp
Hi Bonnie
I am so sorry you and your family have to deal with this. When your son says he had a bad dream can you get him to talk about his "dream".
I think he is feeling all the worrying that is happening in the house and does not know why everyone is worried. I would see if he can talk to the guidence counslor at school or find a counslor to take him to outside of school so you can get to the root of the problem. Good Luck Tiffany