I have two school aged children, 8 & 5, that I am trying to enforce the importance of studying once they get home. My husband says that I am burning them out since they were already in school all day. He says I should let them play and live a little. Coming from a strict upbringing I don't know which one is better. Will kids still want to do homework if they play first afterschool? Suggestions?
You bet they should play!! How would you feel to sit in a classroom for 8 hours only to have your crabby mom not let you reliese some energy? If you dont let them have a little fun now...how about when they are 14 and say your overbearing and walk out the door?
Set a time schuedule...heres mine...3p.m. home with a snack talk about our day...3:30-5 play time...5:45 dinner and then homework and then bath and bed at 8:40 lights out! They will sleep better and act better at school.
I've always been a homework first, then playtime thinker, just to make sure it gets done, but thats just me.
edit: but i do like the time schedule idea of the previous poster :)
Mine are 9 and 5. My nine year old is in 4th grade. He gets homework on Mondays, due on Thursday, spelling test Friday. There are also occasional book reports or other projects. We decide together on Monday how many pages of homework he needs to do each of the three nights. This is because we sometimes have other activities on week nights like sports. This allows him the chance to learn some time managment skills and feel like he decides. Also, he can decide to do more pages on Monday and free up his time other nights.
After school we definately do not jump right into homework! Usually we talk, have a snack and let him unwind with a little playing or t.v. We usually save playing outside or computer for later after homework. After dinner I have them help with some chores - nothing too big - like cleaning up dishes, recyling, picking-up. We don't have an exact schedule because each night is different. We do enforce a strict bedtime.
I don't let my kids play until they finish their homework no if and or but about it.You don't play or do anything until homework is done.My kids like playing their game or getting on the computer,but they can't do that until the weekends no matter what.
There was a wonderful story on NPR about kids, development and play - particularly "unstructured" play. Here's the link:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=19212514
Having some time to play - run off some that boundless energy while developing other skills - may actually help kids with skills in school. I hope you enjoy the article! Best of luck with your kids!
Everyone needs time to unwind. I would have them have a snack and play before getting started. If they aren't done before dinner, then they finish after dinner and their play time before bed is limited.
Structure is important, but having fun is too. Learning should be fun, but many times it can be stressful and your children are too young for that kind of stress. They are only young once and if their grades are fair to good, let them play. They will be more focused on their learning and not wondering when they will be finished so they can play.
I use to be a 7th grade math teacher and I know the pressure kids are under by that age. It is too much. Give them the time or they will burn out, resent you and your life will be much more difficult.
Besides, don't you want to enjoy them a little too? Your time of influence and bonding is short, use it well.
You also could try a prayer before they start their homework. Like, "Lord help me focus on my studies." This could ease the transistion from play to study.
I definately would lighten up a little and allow them to play. As much as I hate to say this, I think your husband is right...sorry. I have seen on dateline and shows that it is mentally healthy for your children to play. That is the point of recess at school. I feel that when the kids get home, you should let them play, come in for dinner, do homework, and get ready for bed. My daughter is also 8 and if she doesnt make the straight 'A' honor roll, then she gets 'A-B'. So what. When your daughter is your age, will it really matter whether she did her homework immediately after school or played first? You are saying that this is the way you were brought up. Did you become such a better and more successful and loving person because of the fact that you had to study as soon as you got home from school? When you are tired or burnt out for the day, you can have a seat, watch a little tv, have a snack before dinner, or maybe even hop on the computer. What would happen if your children did this at the end of their day at school? They would get in trouble because they didnt study first. All your husband is asking for is a break. Your lucky that your husband puts in his opinion. Mine will just say, "whatever you think." It's like you are getting the input from a husband that us wives have longed for and your not using it or even trusting it. Consider yourself lucky. Give the kids and your husband a break...throw out the rule book and go eat at Chucky Cheeses on a school night....I dare you.....Will the world end if you do this? Time will tell. My favorite saying is "Everything will be ok". Good luck, Traci
having been in the educational field for 30 plus years as a taecher, reading specilist, and principal, i can assure you that the kids need down time after school. School is rigorous. Much more than i was in school....There are d emands made on kids that leave little time in the school day for active play. Let them play. I would suspect thsat the 5 year old would not have homework at this time and if the 8 year old does, there is a 30 min. period after supper that he can work on it. Kids love the freedom of being home with no demands academically made on them. I have seem far too often parents who insist that their kids are committed for every portion of the dasy whther it be homeowrk, lessons, or sports. Kids need time to be kids.
The rule in our house is homework first, then playtime. Homework doesn't really take that long and it's important to teach them responsibility by taking care of the Have Tos so that you can do the Wants! Plus it's easier to get it out of the way and then there is no rushing through it. My osn goes to an afterschool program where he gets a snack and does his homework. So maybe letting them have snack, then homework then play would be a good compromise.
A former teacher myself, here's my 2 cents:
Let them snack, talk to you about their day - but expect homework done before dinner.
Reasoning: they do need to decompress (snack and water are also great for the brain - see Erik Jenson's work), but you don't want to have the crisis that realizing at bedtime that they didn't get their spelling words done or a science project finished and then you're all up late playing catch up.
Build in a natural conseqence - like if they don't finish their homework before you sit down to dinner, then they can't goof off with their friends after school the next day.
All kids are different and it may vary according to what the day may consist of. I have (2) children, 10 and 7. My 10 yr. old daughter requires more study and homework time than my 7 yr. son. With much emphasis on the TAKs testing, she is really under the gun right now. She feels that we are much harder on her because her brother gets his work done and gets to play around while she still have studies to do. She has to work a little harder than most to keep up. Where as my son pretty much grasp everything. So...to make it fun, we have family nights where we play games where you have to count $ (such as Monopoly) or spell (Scrabble) or puzzle books. Watching/playing Wheel of Fortune is another good one for spelling and thinking tool. Also, those free exercise dance shows On Demand are good for the whole family to work out and have fun.
Free time and activity is very important to a child. They should be outside enjoying the sunshine and get some exercise. If they are studious kids they will do the right thing.
Hello,
I am a teacher and please let your kids play when they get home. School is important but play is equally as inportant. Their brains are on over load during the school day so when they get home they do need a break. I would read with them or do homework when it is needed but let them be kids while they can. My kids will come home, get a snack, go play for an hour, do home work, and then go play again. Good luck!
Beckie
www.MoreForMyBaby.com
I totally agree. I have a 7 yo. And I feel like after spending 8 hours at school they need some down time. Usually what I do is make her a snack, let her get out of her school cloths, and then let her get out of the house. Some days she will tell me shes too tired to go out. Then she can color, watch t.v. some times she just wants a moment to veg out. I let her do this for about 2 hours. Then around 5 oclock is when we sit down and do our home work. If she is finished before dark she can go outside again.
I have noticed lately though that every now and then if she knows she doesn't have too much home work then she will want to do it first so she can have the rest of the day.
enforcing homework is very important, but listening to how they feel is important too. I think giving them there own time before the buckle down on there studies helps them focus better as well.
And remember TAKS test is coming up as well. Kids are going to be testing all day. So to have to come home and do homework after that is a bit overwhelming on them.
Let them do alittle bit of there home work then let them go play for a half hour or so. That way you are still enforcing the importance of school but your not burning them out. If they have choires have them do them after home work.
I make my daughter have a snack, do her homework, and then play
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