I had a baby girl at 42. Best thing I ever did.
Bonnie v. O.
Heya... Scanned through, to see if anyone from my age bracket had replied first...
So... I had my son when I was 23 a couple years after discharging from the USMC... and in the past 6 years I have yet to meet a single mum in their 20's. Most of my friends with children are in their 40's (children born betwen 38 & 45), but I DO know 2 in their mid 30's, one in their 50's, and one in their 60's. It's not like I'm a hermit, or anything, it's just the growing trend. There wasn't a single parent of a child in my son's preschool OR kindergarden class who was under 35, and most were in their forties/fifties.
Having children later, just plain makes sense. Typically a person in their 30's/40's is in a better place financially, educationally, emotionally, & career-wise then someone in their 20's. Heck, a person has had an extra 10-20 years of living, under their belts. It's hard NOT to be in a better place.
One thing about this trend though, most mum's in their 40's snub younger mums. I have no real idea why. Mostly, I've learned to keep my age a secret (29, for real), until I've become friends with someone.
Having kids is exhausting at any age. But ooooh boy. So. So. So. Much. Fun. :) :) :)
So put your hands on your hips, look around you... and see how far you've come.If you're in a better place then you were when you were in your 20's, breathe a sigh of relief. If you're in a better place then in your thirties... then throw your arms up and laugh. You'll be fantastic.
i understand how upset some may be by my response. as a child of parents who were 42 and 43 when i was born i think it is selfish to have children at that age. my parents never considered how their health would be 24 years later i am on the verge of loosing my mom to Alzheimer and my father has heart problems as well as diabetes. i don't think that all parents who are older will end up like this yes my parents had money at that point but i would rather have more years with them than good schools. my parents were always exhausted and unable to take me to the park or play dates or have tea parties with me. just make sure you have the time energy health and love to give to the child before you put a burden on an unborn.
Hey Ingrid,
I had our first child at 40 and our second at 41! We had to go to genetic counseling which will scare the crap out of you! DON'T focus on what "could" happen to your child! Think positive and have faith! Our children are both healthy and happy! My husband and I also knew that if something was the matter with either of our little ones we would LOVE THEM all the same and be just as thankful! On the energy front...sigh...we are not in our 20's or 30's so it, at times, can be gruling, but worth EVERY minute! Let us know your thoughts after you get some advice :)
Sandy
www.ContentMommy.com
Ingrid,
Congratulations to you for considering having a baby after 40! I just had my first baby last year (at 40) and it's been the most wonderful thing I could have ever done! I just love my son and can't believe I didn't do it sooner (actually I can since I don't think my husband and I were ready before now). I was really lucky in that my pregnancy was without incident and my son was born healthy (albeit 4 weeks earlier than we expected!). I exercised right up until I delivered (mostly yoga and pilates) and ate as well as I could (I just couldn't stay away from chocolate though). If you're healthy and in good shape I think you can do it too. I appreciated every moment of my pregnancy and couldn't believe it ended so soon. It was the best time of my life.
Good luck to you on your decision,
Brenda D.
Awe go for it!!!! You are still very young. I had my first at 35 and my second at 43. It was the best experience ever. Of course, I choose to go through all of the AMA (Advanced Maternal Age) testing which can add extra costs. Just because my insurance would cover the genetic testing. But other than that the two pregnancies were not different from the other. It's a great gift to give your child a sibling. Best wishes.
I had my first baby at 45, got pregnant in a couple weeks (my first pregnancy and first time I had even tried). I know I'm lucky but my gyno, when I said I was thinking of having kids at 40, told me to start FERTILITY! --and I hadn't even TRIED to get pregnant yet.
I did not follow their advice and thank God, 4 yrs later, almost without trying conceived, right time, right frame of mind, the stars were aligned, totally infatuated with papa, who knows........Pregnancy was awesome and I'm back to pre preg weight after a year and a half. She is very healthy and the only thing I had trouble with was healing after the vaginal birth (but I refused to take pain medication due to breast feeding for almost 6 weeks post partum) I do NOT recommend that. It was very hard. But I don't think that had anything to do with my age. She just weaned herself at 17 months and I don't feel "older" than other moms or odd man out. It seems all moms are older these days. Go for it.
I am not your age but understand why you are apprehensive. BUT you had a child in your late thirties and it was fine. Also, I would like to say I disagree with one of the responses saying that it is selfish. My mom had me when she was 39 and she is my best friend! Also, a sibling is a wonderful gift! I am so grateful for my siblings. They are my best friends too. Good luck!
Thank you all sooo much for sharing your stories and experiences. It was so great and normalizing to hear that there are so many mothers giving birth in their 40s! You may be counting me in soon.