Help!! I really need someone who understands and goes through it to talk to. I am dealing with an almost 13yrold who has all three of the above issues. Between the disrespect and the anger and the fighting I am at wits end. Dealing with all the "professionals" is one thing but when they are not there.... then what? I need someone who has been on my side of things to discuss what I am going through and to gripe with. Dealing with this has made me feel alienated and different with other moms who dont compeletly understand. Is there anyone out there who understands?
there are support groups out there. What about the dad?
Oh, what a rough package! Girl, pour a cup of coffee and sit down because you are not alone.
My oldest (he's 10) has a myriad of issues including PDD-NOS, ODD and ADHD. The PDD comes from Prader-Willi we came to find out. It's a bumpy ride and there were a lot of days I thought I was a rotten mom because I couldn't get a handle on him...or get him to get a handle on himself. Long days, longer nights where he couldn't or wouldn't sleep, being irritating just for the sake of it and doing precisely what he'd been asked not to do...yep, we have those battle scars.
Above all else, and what Joshua tries to tell you, he needs your time, touch and talking. Firm boundaries and real consequences for stepping over the line.
When you see the "professionals" go with your gut. And see if the facility has a parent's group.
You're in the trenches but there are other moms right there with you.
It is nice to see others that are going through what I am. But not easy to handle. I am a mother of 4 girls. All grown but my 13 yr old. She was diagnosed with AD/HD and ODD at the age of 5. It has been really hard to handle her. Over the years, it got worse. A year ago, she got so out of control I had to place her in a adolescent psychiatric hospital. She spent 1 month there. They took her off her meds b/c she was being treated for the above. I told them I wanted her tested for Aspergers and she was finally diagnosed with that. I had to go online to see what that was about. I noticed alot of the things she did was part of that. It is really hard to handle. And as you said, the teen years add to that. I still have a problem with her. We work at it day to day. She is in a special school. But the therapists dont' know what we go through. They aren't there. I think kids do it at home b/c they don't have structure. It is hard to do that at home. My daughter Cheyenne has to keep her hands busy at all times. I will do more reseaching on it. I hope they have found some kind of medicine that helps some with him. If not, keep pushing them till they find one. If you need to talk, my yahoo is [email protected]. I wish you luck and hope to chat. Sometimes I feel like I am gonna have a breakdown b/c I myself have emotional problems.
Hello,
My son doesn't have any of these problems, but my nephew does. My sister uses the reward system with her son. He's 16 years old and has ADHD, OCD, PPD, and Asperbergers syndrome.
The reward system is based on my nephew controlling his outrages and bringing himself back into check. He is rewarded with 1 dollar everytime he brings himself back into control, and at the end of the week, he is able to buy privileges with the money he has. You also reward when he remembers to do "normal" things. My nephew is rewarded for walking around at a family function and at least saying hello to everyone.
I see what my sister and brother in law go through with my nephew and some days I couldn't imagine getting through it.
My best friend has a 17 year old son who has adhd and has anger managment issues.She also deals with his being disrespectful. He also smokes pot and has been in some trouble with the law and was on probation. She has to put him in treatment again. The bottom line is things could always be worse but you have to stick in there with your stepson. Is he on any meds for his add or the pdd? See if there is any kind of support group for parents of kids who have these issues. I know it is hard but hang in there. In the end he will be okay and he will remember that you were always there for him.
Allie,
I personally dont have a child w/ this, though a few of his teachers want him medicated anyway...another story.
however, from friends I know and my sister too, counseling and therapy have helped immensely..and not just for your son, but for the family as a whole in order to deal w/ all his issues. but have to find a good therapist who deals w/ this particular diagnosis.
good luck
hi Allie-
i am a nutritionist and the first thing i thought of is - what is he eating? i know you said the others don't react liek he does, but there may be some food sensitivities or allergies Joshua has that trigger some of his odd behavior. so you may want to start tracking what he eats and when his horrible behavior is the worst.
you may find that sugar, high fructose corn syrup., articial sweeteners and colors add to his issues. so you will want to eliminate those first. preservatives as well. then check to see if it might be dairy, wheat or soy related.
good luck and keep us posted!
joanna chodorowska
personal nutrition coach
www.nutrition-in-motion.com
215-272-6774
I totally understand what you are going through. My 9 year old son has ADHD and they were thinking that he possibly had ODD. We've come to find out that he may not have ODD and now he is going to be evaluated for Aspberger's Syndrome. It's a tough situation to be in, believe me I know. My son's behavior has improved and he isn't on any meds at the present time. I got together with the school and we are trying positive reinforcement with him and it really seems to be working. If he does have a meltdown and can bring himself out of it in a reasonable time then he is rewarded, and he is constantly being rewarded for all the good choices he makes. I hope this helped :)
I have a 16 year old that has ODD and ADD. not sure what PDD is. when he turned 11 he went to live with his bio father(dead beat) I could not take it anymore. I have two daughter to my husband age 6 and 5. And I hate them seeing the caious.
Every time i try to be nice and get him for a weekend he has one of his melt down and ruins something for one of the girls. I just want to give up but yet he is my first born son. And of course there is the family that point the finger at my husband for everything and trys to say that he does not have the diagnoses.
just hang in there and count down the years. you can also email me to vent at [email protected]
Kelly B
I have been raising my grandchildren for 16 years. The younger girl is now 17 and has these disorders. The last therapist told us to institutionalize her for inpatient treatment. That was not an option for us. Try dealing with a hormonal female with all the above! Life is hell on a daily basis. You never know what to expect and sometimes her behavior in public is mortifying. Her older sister is in her 1st year of college and on the Dean's list,was a cheerleader in high school and in the band. Not to say she wasn't a handful at times too! I could count on her to act appropriately in public at least!
People don't understand and think these kids are just bad and the result of bad parenting.
Hang in there- eventually they grow up and move on!
Try www.explosivekids.org and if you haven't read "The Explosive Child" - not a quick fix, but real coping strategies for parents.
If you haven't yet, you may want to find a DAN doctor to guide you through dietary changes, etc. These issues are often biochemical imbalances in the body and can improve over time.
You have your hands full, stay strong!
Hi Allie,
Boy is sounds like you have your hands full! Joshua sounds like what my brother and husband were like growing up. They were both very hard children to deal with and discipline, so there are those of us out there who know what you are going through! If you just need other mom's to talk to I would suggest a mom's club. I'm in the mom's club of monroeville and it's a great way to meet other mom's, and mom's who have similiar issues as you're going through. It helps to get out and talk to other mothers. Go to www.momsclub.com to find a mom's clud in your area. Or if you live mear Monroeville email me and I'll get you all the info. Stay strong and remember that you're not the only mom out there struggling to get through!
Your not alone. I just read my life in your story/My son is 13 and has pdd joey has the same issue disrepectful the littlest thing sets him off I know where your comming from not having any one to talk to with a child around your child age you may E mail me maybe we can help each other Just remember you are not a lone and I do understand my e mail is [email protected]
A PDD MOM
Talk to a coach! Joan Celebi, based in Massachusetts, is a Life Coach for Parents of Special Needs Children. Check out her website at www.prideandjoycoaching.com If nothing else, her monthly newsletter may help. (Free email) She is a parent of a child with special needs and she works with parents---she knows and understands what they are going through.
My son is 24. Been there, done that! I would be delighted to be your friend in this journey through adolescence.
I understand exactly what you are going through. I have one child whom we adopted who is ODD, ADHD, RADS, PTSD, and possible Aspergers. We moved to Pennsylvania a little over a year ago and things got worse in a hurry. I have thought of forming some sort of a support group for Mom's in the area who are going through the same thing. It is soooo hard and if you are like me, you feel like you are all on your own on this one. Family doesn't understand, you get embarrassed around friends, and you feel as though you are constantly at wits end.
One moment my son is loving and wonderful and it seems as though at the drop of a hat things change. You are right, the professionals arn't there for the day to day. And if you are like me, when you go in to talk to them...either they don't understand the severity of the issues or you forget to tell them alot of the issues.
I would love to go through this with other Moms who understand.
Feel free to email me anytime. [email protected]
My stepson lived with us fulltime starting when he was age nine. At age 11-12 he became so difficult that we really needed a break. He was diagnosed with ADD, and ultimately Aspergers Syndrome (mild autism). He also had started pulling out his own hair until he had a bald spot, which was probably from the meds. We started lcoking our bedroom door at night since we feared his impulsiveness and unhappiness. We finally sent him to a wilderness school called New Dominion in Virginia for a year (7th grade). It did a world of good and gave him and us a much needed break. But it was very expensive. He is 21 years old now, and still cites that year as a turning point for him. Good Luck. I do know a little of what you are going through.
Hi Allie
PDD is is on the autism spectrum and depending on who you talk to (professionals) the ADHD/ODD go hand and hand with the PDD.
Some docs will lump all the side issues along with the PDD.
Does your child recieve wraparound services to help his cope with some of his issues? Do you us medication for the ADHD?
I have a son who is almost 5 with PDD and he has ADHD and it was ROUGH until we started to medicate him. Wrap around has been helpful too.
Don't ever be afraid to ask for help. Kids who are on the spectrum take ALOT to patience.
((hugs))
Been there and still doing that....
Nora
www.autismlink.com has a great online support group. Marla