I just read a question and responses from a lady that was quite similar to mine. My baby is due in August. My youngest (who is the only girl) will be 2 in May. She has an older brother who is 5 and they are insperable and share everything except for Mommy. If my 5 year old gives me hugs and kisses she is all over him like mad trying to hit and push him away. Already she has an extensive collection of baby dolls from Christmas so she has an idea about babies and what Mommies do for them. But when I tell her I have a baby in my belly, she touches my belly, shakes her head "no" and walks away mumbling to herself.
I am really concerned first that she will try to hurt the baby. Second that if I get her off the night time bottles she will regress. I don't want to start weaning her now if it's too soon. My theory is the longer she's been without one, the better the chances are she won't feel the need for one when she sees her little brother or sister with one. My husband disagrees and thinks we should wait until her 2nd birthday.
So this is a two parter ladies...1. Should I not worry about the jealousy factor until the arrival of the new bundle of joy, or is there another method besides the baby dolls to help her understand what will be happening? 2. Should I begin to wean her off her bed time bottles (that is the only time she has them now) or wait until she turns two like dad said?
1st question: I would wait until the baby arrives to see how your dau will react. Let her know how much she can help you when the baby arrives. Sometimes the library holds free baby/sibling classes...something u might want to look into. Also, there's several books on Amazon.com that deal with the arrival of a new baby.
2nd question: I took both of my children off off bottles at one year and only gave them "sippy" cups. It was harder for my youngest (a girl) but upon asking my dr about it, he said when she was thirsty she would eventually drink out of it. And she did. It wasn't cruel and I didn't let her starve! The pediatrician also said that the sooner is better because bottles can have long term effects on teeth. It also helped that we told her that her big brother drinks out of cups, too! they are only 14 mos apart so I thought my oldest would regress back into bottles, but we did the same to him right before my dau was born. Our thinking was we didn't want 2 kids on bottles. I still give them both a cup of milk around 7. When that's gone they don't get anymore (or else we wet the bed) milk just water. It worked for us but every child is different.
Get her off the bottle now. It is recommended that kids be off the bottle by their first bday and she is already past that. It is also recommended that kids not go to sleep with a bottle in the bed because it decays their teeth.
My kids are 3 and 5 (they lack 4 days between 25 months apart). Part of our routine is they drink milk (from a cup), read books, have hugs/kisses, brush teeth and go to bed. We sometimes give them a cup of water by their bed in case they get thirsty at night. Just make sure she doesn't drink milk after she brushes her teeth.
I think the longer she has been without it, the easier it will be. Good luck.
My experience with sibling rivalry is that I try to involve the soon-to-be big brother/sister in every part of preparing for the baby. Then when the baby arrives, take a deep breath and take it one day at a time. Part two: I'd say wean now and give as much time as possible between weaning and the new baby. Good luck!
My two daughters are 2 days shy of being 2 years apart. We talked extensively with my older daughter preparing her to be a big sister. We praised her for being a big sister and talked about things that she could do to help her little sister (going to get diapers, teaching her things, etc). Once my youngest daughter arrived my oldest was excited and happy. They have been inseperable ever since. I continue to praise her for being a good big sister and it has worked beautifully. As for the bottle, i would wean her immediately. i weaned at one year but i know some people wait longer. a great transition cup is the nuby (it has a soft spout). hope this helps and congrats on the new arrival!
I think she should be off bottles all together. Cold Turkey. This worked wonders for my son the WEEK BEFORE he was ONE. Been off it ever since. He saw other infants with bottles and was just fine...because he got to use his big boy sippy cup.
Your daughter should have been completely off the bottle but her first birthday, especially night time bottles. It will damage her teeth. You can always take her to the store to 'buy' herself a gift (or even a gift for the new baby) by paying for it with her bottle or telling her the bottle fairy will take her bottle if it's under her pillow and replace it with a toy or money.
Get her involved with the baby's birth. Buy her a shirt that says, "I'm the big sister" or let her help you decorate the new baby's room, have her help you pick out clothes and toys for the new baby. Tell her she's a big girl and it's her responsibility to be a big sister and explain what big sisters do (don't hit the baby, they love the baby etc).
Find ways to explain to her that you can love more then one child. Show her all her toys and ask her if she can love only one. When she says no, say something like, "That's how mommy's are. We love all our children even more then you love your baby dolls. The more we have the more love we have inside us." Whatever she will understand.
Good luck with your family and congrats on the new baby.
I have three kids ages 9,7 and 6. When I found out I was expecting again after the first one, I immediately started getting her ready to help me with baby, we would watch "A baby story" on TLC and it helped her to understand why my belly was so big and what was going to happen. I made her a shirt to wear and she was the first one to see her new sister and when she would visit in the hospital we made sure to let her hold her baby sister as soon as she got there. After we got home she would help out with fetching diapers and wipes and would help with things like that. If you give the older child a sense of you needing her help with the new one then they are able to accept it better.
I followed the same routine when I found out about the third child with some exceptions because she was younger.
I wish you the best of luck, and when you feel overwhelmed with two little ones just know that when they are older, it will be alot better, they will be closer. I used to think I would loose my mind with three little ones and two so close, and there were days when I thought I would go run off down the road screaming. And I would always tell myself it will be better when they are older and are so close.
Ok, I knew I would get the response I did about the bottles. I know better…I really do. I guess we had made the decision that we wouldn’t have any more kids after her and I don’t think I was ok with that so I let her keep th “BA” only at certain times. Now that “Oops” were pregant again this is for sure the last one and I’ve planned the surgery for it. SO to make a long story short I put her to bed last night without the “BA” and she did just fine. We ran her ragged so she was tired enough to fall asleep when I put her down. Hooray!!!
As far as the sibling rivalry I will definately use the advise I got. My son is also begining to become active in helping her understand. He is also trying not to be so rough with her and spending more time playing in her room with her instead of in his room. Luckily my husband will be with me for a week and my mom is flying in for two weeks to help out after the baby comes. I’m hopeful that she will enjoy helping to take care of the new baby. Thanks again!