My 7 year old daughter has just been diagnosed with OCD, which is something I knew she had because her father has it and she has shown all the signs since about 2 years old. For the most part she is a loving little girl, who is in second grade and makes the honor roll. However, it is VERY easy to hurt her feelings, and she gets hysterical if she doesn't get simple things her way, i.e., what color plate or cup she eats or drinks out of, it doesn't take much to get her upset, and all the crying and temper tantrums are about to drive me nuts. Her 10 year old sister adds to the torment of course by picking at her, which I am trying to stop. What can I do to help slow the number of tantrums without having to give in to whatever it is she wants?
First, I'm so sorry that you're struggling with this - you are not alone, though. I recommend you read (and re-read) a book by Ross Greene, The Explosive Child. It deals with these exact situations. Also, I'd consider counseling - for the family as a whole. It is likely that the 10-year-old has some feelings about her sister's issues (e.g., mistakenly believes her little sister always gets her way). Good luck.
I am sure this is very challenging. A year ago, I finally found a term to my problems with this, I did not know I had OCD, I just thought I was "anal" about alot of things. Well, now that I know it is OCD, I understand alot more, I try to work through it. I have 4 children and all of them have signs of it. My cleaning has to be done in a certain way, Things have to be just right, Organization can take me forever and ever, I eat off of a certain plate, I have to have a certain fork, My mom is the one who told me that I eat my food in order (ie; whatever i am eating i eat from the outside in, like mashed potatos never just dip into them I start from the sides and work my way into them that way, or I eat french fries then some of my burger, more fries then I take off the bun and eat the lettuce, pickle, tomato, meat ect... my husband knows exactly what i am going to do and eat next when I do this, he is the one that brought that to my attention)(which I never seen that myself until she brought it to my attention, My Father did these types of things when he was alive, Apparently this is where I have developed it from)My laundry has to be folded a certain way, my children clothes have to have to be organized. My 16 year old son and my 4 year old(the youngest) daughter are the worst with it. My son if anything has been moved in his room he knows just by walking in there cuz he is that organized and he knows exactly what has been moved. My 4 year old she gets very angry over not having a certain thing, plate, cup etc... she has to have her hair a certain way or she is just really angry that day(not kidding about that )Things have to go just right! with all of us it is never good enough and we will do over and over until it "seems" right. We are in counseling as a family, its a hard slow process and I don't know if we will ever find a peace with it, but we are trying. OCD is really hard for me at 35 to stop being the way I am. I do hope it helps my kids though.
I have to enter this as well, right now as I am typing this my 4 yr old is putting some boots on, she is playing dress up with her sister (9 yrs old) These boots are just wrecking her nerves, if they do not zip for her all the way up she just goes insane if someone will not get them exactly how she wants them. The Tantrums come out etc.... on that note I need to attend to her. I hope this helps to know there are alot of us out here. I honestly understand!
I was told about a lady over in Millington who deals with kids, she is a counselor. Not sure of her name but the center is Professional Counseling Services, the number is 873-0305. I guess she specializes in helping young children.
I know what your going through my 5 yr old is going through it. Its not easy, but with my husband and I telling her everything will be fine, we will make sure of it, seems to have helped a little.
She used to bang her head on the cement floors, the walls, about anything that could be hit, we would just let her go and tell her it will be ok, we will get through it. she did this for about 2 months.
I know my way of doing things, may not be for you, but you could try counseling
Good Luck
get her a set of bowls and plates just for her and you won't have as many problems. as far as the sister, give her something of her own as well dealing with the issue. hope this helps. if not, let me know.
I am struggling with many of the same issues with my five year old daughter. I can completely understand also because I grew up with OCD myself, and of course, still live with it. It is very hard to understand why these kids throw such a fit. But now looking back, I can understand. I remember having a picture in my mind of what I needed or wanted, I would have it all mapped out. Then, the instant I realized that I could not have it or do it, my mind would race into panic... there really is nothing that I could ever do, no comfort from anyone to help me from melting down. I felt that if things went out of whack, something bad would happen: I would get sick, my parents would get sick, someone would die, the end of the world would happen, or I would become possessed. My parents never knew what to do with me, and I was not formally diagnosed with OCD until I was almost an adult. Now I am a mother, and my little girl is dealing with the same issues but much much worse. We haven't slept, she doesn't ever want to eat, or use the bathroom or go to school. So I am going to do what I wish my parents could have done for me, I am going to get her help. Because right now, my child is not being a kid= worry-free and happy.
I think therapy was very helpful for me.... to learn that my life did not necessarily need to always be in the order that I thought it had to be. I don't know how else to not give in though, because I know I do it too with my own child. But I have been trying to give her "breaks" when she gets worked up. I let her sit in her room with little to no distractions, and take deep breaths and cool down..... because that is the ONLY time she will ever hear what I have to say... Wait until she calms down to try to rationalize with her.
Hope this helps...
I also have a 7yr old daughter and she was just diagnosed with OCD. It started last year(1st grade) she was very upset if she did not get 100% on her work at school. A 93% would make her say she doesn't know how to do that assignment at all. But this year she started washing her hands till they crack n bleed, gets very upset and has anxiety attacks going to school because the teacher punishes the whole class for talking and she makes it a point to be quiet and go by the rules, so she thinks shes bad even tho she wasn't. She has to be perfect. And if all the children in her class aren't nice to her she thinks no one likes her. She is not allowed to wash her hands when she needs to or even go to the bathroom so she cries and gets depressed when it is time for school. She does not understand why she cries and wants to be in school with kids her age but her anxiety takes over.She says to me all the time she wants to be the way she was last year, wants to be normal again. And all the school worries about is how many days she has missed not her health and overall wellbeing. That really burns me up.