Hi, I am hoping that I can get some great ideas for meals. My boss/friend's son was killed yesterday. This is so tragic and terrible I am just thinking of some ideas I can do to help relive some of the stress during this terrible time. I was thinking of making a few meals that I can bring over to him and his wife. Please send any ideas you have used during a time like this. Include other great suggestions.Thank you
some "out of the box" ideas people brought to us when my mom died were:
paper supplies, like plates, paper towels, toilet paper... breakfast food: cereal, caramel rolls
lunch food: buns, lunchmeat, cheese
supper: a lot of casseroles (i like pizza casserole :) )
snack foods, like cookies, bars
you can make a lasagna with no cook noodles and freeze it - bring over the garlic bread (frozen kind) and a bagged salad, as well. This has the added benefit of being a good comfort food and easy.
One of the nicest things you could do would be to offer to clean, do laundry, etc. Offer to do it when your friend isn't there, if that would make her feel better. I'm sure she's not up to thinking about mundane tasks like that. If her son was still living at home, you can offer to do his laundry so that she doesn't have to look at it (though you might want to make sure you leave a few pieces of dirty laundry out that still smell like him) - and in time you can help her pack up his things so that she doesn't have to face his bedroom alone.
Also, I highly, highly recommend the organization Compassionate Friends. It's a support group for parents who've lost children of all ages. I can't imagine anything more devastating than losing a child, and your friend will be grieving for the rest of her life. My aunt is a very active member of this organization, and I know it has helped her immensely to have other people that understand the enormity of her pain (she lost her 15 year old daughter 14 years ago). You might contact the organization and get some materials to give your friend when she is ready for them.
Lastly, give her space, but not too much - and know that her pain will be even greater in the coming weeks and months than it is right now. A meal right after the fact is great, but she will need support and thoughtfulness for a long time. A gift certificate for take-out next month might be just as, if not more, needed than a meal right now when everyone reacts to the immediate situation. In 2 weeks, the cards and flowers and care packages will stop coming and she will be alone in her grief. Don't forget her then.
It's great that she has people around her at her workplace that also want to support her...