My husband and I are considering adopting internationally from Bulgaria. We are very excited, but so nervous. Can anyone share their experiences with me? I am mainly interested with what kind of problems you encountered once you got the child home. Were there delays and bonding issues? How did you overcome these? Thanks so much for the help.
I have a good friend who adopted an 18 mo old from Russia. Kassie is now 8 yrs old, and a great kid--smart, personable, no doubt that she's a normal part of the family (she has 3 older bros, all biologically her parents'). So the experience was, and is, overall positive, and my friend will tell anyone who will lesson what a great blessing Kassie has been to them. That being said, there were issues when she first came over. Kassie was hearing impaired, but that was never diagnosed in Russia--and thus, my friend and her husband had no idea. They thought she just didn't talk because of the language barrier, trauma of the move, etc. Once they figured out the problem, however, they were able to get Kassie surgery and she now hears fine. The personality transformation once she could hear was tremendous.
Also, she had clearly not had much attention or stimulation at the orphanage. She had been forcibly potty trained, meaning that she would be put on a potty after every meal, and not allowed to move until she went--no matter how long it took. She was TERRIFIED of bathrooms, for completely understandable reasons. She freaked out sometimes when she encountered something completely foreign--the sand on the beach was a big one. That first summer at the lake, they had to keep her on a blanket all the time and make sure she never touched the sand or she would cry. In time, she got used to things, and nearly from the beginning she was very clingy to her mom and dad--somehow, I think she knew that they were saving her from a much worse place.
This is all to say that I would by all means encourage you to do this, and think it can be great for you and your family, but you should be prepared for some challenges. I would expect that the challenges will pale in comparison to the fantastic rewards, though. Good luck!
Our neice was adopted as a toddler from China, and she is amazing. She just turned 3 and has been part of our family for around 18 months. She never experienced any mental or physical delays and quickly picked up the English language. She did not have any issues bonding with my brother-in-law or her sisters, but it took several months for her to form a bond with my sister-in-law. My neice was very unresponsive to her new Mother and sometimes agressive (hitting and biting). It was very difficult for my SIL for a few months. They had waited so long to bring her home, and she just didn't want anything to do with her. Now they have bonded, and they all couldn't be happier. She now has a hard time separating from her Mother and doesn't want to let her out of her sight. It was very hard at first, but I think everyone would agree that it was all well worth it.