The exercise dieting obsession has ruined his relationship with his teenage kids from his previous marriage. They no longer speak to him or see him.
I have been really really fat my whole life. I cut out a lot of sugar and some bread and my blood pressure went back to normal. I lost a lot of weight. I used to be xxx and now I am a medium large.
I found some sugar free stuff I like .
I do dance cardio with my friends and we have a fight Everytime I go but I go anyway. Because he feels that's not exercise and I look stupid doing it. He also tried to barge in and tell us how to exercise and the security guard kicked him out.
His mother also likes to interfere .
I use a stationary bike because I hate exercising. My husband hates that I use it because it's not grueling enough . He is always putting furniture around tightening up the pedals loosening up the seat threatening to give it away.
Because I don't go fast enough on it. So I should not even bother exercising.
He wants me to do this brutal strength regimen he did in the Marines. I refuse to do it ever again. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack and he was screaming the entire time I wasn't going fast enough.
He spent the entire day screaming about it . I try not to lose my temper but yesterday I lost my temper. Because he wouldnt stop making fun about my weight .
He didn't use to be like this . He is obsessed with a Tik tok ' nutritionist' who thinks fruits and veggies are sugar bombs and you should just eat Hershey bars . I am ready to divorce him. I am sick of everything turning into a power struggle.
So, the teens are his kids and not yours, so this isn’t about parenting them or keeping them safe, as they live elsewhere and have cut contact. (Did he abuse their mother or them? Red flag.)
He’s verbally abusive to you (yelling, belittling) and he’s physically demanding (boot camp training). He’s trying to emotionally abuse you by separating you from your friends. He’s less obsessed with exercise and food than with controlling you. Red flags everywhere. I am not sure why you don’t follow the teens’ example and cut contact, but do it safely with police or domestic violence counselor support.
This scenario sounds very familiar, so maybe you can search this site for similar posts with good advice.
I’ll just echo what Diane B said–the issue is not really an obsession with food and exercise, but his desire to control what other people do and that he puts you down, screams at you, and doesn’t let you be your own person. Life in your household sounds scary and miserable, so getting out seems like a really good idea–with support from a domestic violence organization and good legal advice, because when you try to leave, he might well escalate more.
If he didn’t used to be like this, I have to wonder if he has some kind of physical or mental health issue going on. Maybe his ridiculous diet had some sort of effect? In any case, you can certainly ask him if he’s had a good physical lately, or if he’d be willing to go to counseling, together or apart. Approach this out of loving concern that every human at his age should do these things to take good care of themselves, but if he’s not interested, you know what you should do.
You’ve already taken some good steps for yourself, including exercising with friends and getting yourself to a healthy weight. Your life will be so much better without him. He is abusing you. Work with a good counselor and/or domestic violence agency for support and good luck.
Congratulations on your weight loss! It isn’t easy and it is sad that instead of being happy that you’re slowly joining him on this journey to become healthier, he is not being supportive or encouraging or asking you to join him in making healthy choices, but putting you down and trying to get you to quit your workouts. I wonder if he has met someone else and that is why he is pushing you away and being nasty towards you. It could just be that he feels he has an edge over you as long as you’re heavy, and he is chipping away at your self-esteem so that even now, you will feel you’re not good enough. Don’t give up on being healthy and having fun exercising with friends, no matter what he says. Please ignore him, he is a jerk! Plus, what nutritionist would encourage eating Hershey’s bars over fruits and veggies? Sounds like a kook.
I agree with others that this behavior of his is abusive and manipulative. It doesn’t sound like you have any children together, so that is a good thing. I agree with others that this isn’t a healthy marriage and you should get rid of the extra dead weight that he is causing you by getting a divorce. I have been with men like him before, they thought that by making me feel like they’re doing me a favor by staying with fat Nat, as they were lean, I should put up with their garbage out of desperation because no one else would ever “accept” me. I might have put up with that before because growing up I was always poked at by family and strangers for being overweight, but ever since I got to my late 20s, I don’t take it anymore. You can do this, stay strong and focus on YOU!
PS: You will have to let me know about the sugar-free stuff you like. I am trying to lose weight and as a newly-diagnosed diabetic, sugar-free stuff is up my alley. It’s hard to find anything that doesn’t taste unpleasant or fake, so I’m curious to see what you found. My mom is also a diabetic and would probably enjoy any recommendations you may have.