Ok moms- I need to know Im not alone. Im a SAHM and I feel that my husband makes enough for us to live comfortably and me to not work. But come time to pay bills- its like where is all our money??? We talk about a budget, but never follow through. I would like to know who uses one and how you came about it? Any tips or suggestions is greatly appreciated. I love staying home and have given up things that I had when I worked- no problem. At the same time, I dont like having to track every dime! If i look at our net pay minus our bills, there should be plenty left over each month. But its like that "left over" amount never shows up! I should add that we always manage to get by and we do live pretty good considering we have one income. I just want to know that Im not alone. I feel this way about twice a month. Thanks moms
Hi,
We have a weekly and a monthly budget that we try really hard to stick to, but we have the same problem. My husband makes more than enough to cover our bills, and yet at the end of the month, where did the extra go? One thing that helps me, though, is to withdraw cash for our weekly and monthly budget, keep it in separate compartments in my purse, and leave the cards at home. That way, if I run out of cash, I know I shouldn't spend anymore until the next week. I also use a spread sheet to keep track of expenses, so I know where I am during the month. I make a weekly menu and grocery list, and try my best not to make any impulse buys. Honestly, the hardest thing for me to avoid is eating out. I hate cooking, and I tend to find any and all excuses to just eat out. I try to avoid stores when I don't really need to go in. If I'm grocery shopping, I can easily avoid the impulse buys, but if I'm just in there because I'm bored and looking for something to do, watch out budget, because it's doomed, lol! Well, I hope this helps you in some way. You're not alone!
Debrah
www.daveramsey.com Full of useful information on budgeting and staying our of debt. He also has a show on 570 AM KLIF Radio that airs M-F from 1:00 to 4:00. Do listen, you won't be dissapointed.
Definitely check out Dave Ramsey! I'm working on his Financial Peace University on CD, and its awesome. If you need a budget buddy I'd be more than happy to help!
Michele,
Our situation is a bit different. My husband is a self-employed contractor. The money is kind of sporadic and always changing. The nice thing is he bills his clients weekly fir the work that has been accomplished, Then he pays his subs and then we get what is left!
Anyway, we just have a loose budget- fixed things like mortgage, insurance, utilities come out first. What is left over is what I have to work with. Some weeks I work REALLY hard to make meals from whatever is on hand, use up canned goods etc... other weeks I have some extra and I can stock up on sales things.
With 4 kids- 3 in school- this time of year is REALLY frustrating for me- school uniforms (DISD), school supplies, join the PTA, contribute to the snack fund for the class, different school supplies that weren't on the list, after school activity fees...
I feel like my life is spent on a quest for how to save $! I am tryting the new Homemade Gourmet 4 meals in 4 minutes kit- it is a bit costly ($130) BUT I can make 50+ meals by adding my own meat and some canned goods, I make them ahead of time- hopefully that will cut down on the "quick trips" to the grocery store!
All of that to say you are not alone!
Debi
I am motivated by Susie Orman's thinking. She is so much like my own mother, who budgeted over her lifetime with great monitary success. The result of this was empowering for me and I grew up thinking that whatever you want is possible if you want it badly enough. There were sacrafices and looking back, it seems to me that each family's budget should be tailored to their individual priorities and constantly readjusted as inflation these days is impossible. From housing to computer monitors, I am staggered at the flucuation in costs.
Another thing I learned after leaving the work force is to stay on top of the services you use. The first month at home I cut our budget by hundreds of dollars just getting on the phone with the cable company, the electric company, porting our land line to my cell phone. Fifty dollars a month for what??? Is your home insurance covering the dwelling and the land? Why insure the land? Are you paying collision coverage for an older car that is paid off and isn't really worth it? Can you find a lower mortgage rate without huge closing costs? Can you make just one extra house payment a year toward the principle? Do you have a locking closet somewhere in your home where you can stash bargin Christmas gifts and reusable wrapping throughout the year?
Don't get me wrong. I do not believe in obscessing over every nichol and along the way, I constantly ask myself what my time is worth, especially driving across town just to save a dollar at another store. Life marches on and there should be time to enjoy splurges along the way with no regrets. Moderation in ALL things. Your time is every bit as important as money ever will be. You can't take it with you and your circumstances can literally change on a dime. Consider the victoms of Katrina as you set your priorities and sometime in your life, try to visit a third world country.
Financial crisis will pass and it amazes me that more than not, every income level seems to suffer the same financial challenges. Those huge new mansions often hold families dealing with huge financial problems just like the rest of us.
These are just my personal thoughts,
Cindy S.
My husband and I do have a budget that we live by strictly. We made a spreadsheet with all of our monthly bills, you must include everything!! (gas, tolls, cable, water, etc.) We give ourselves a food budget every week and that is what we spend at the grocery store. Then we take what is left from our income, after all bills are paid and divide by 4. This gives us what we can spend for the week for going out, renting movies, etc. This makes my husband and I talk about what we spend each day for lunches, etc. If we have any extra money at the end of the week we just transfer it to savings.
I hope that this helps.
Michele -
We are in the exact same boat!! I stay home, we own our own business and live much more comfortably than I ever thought possible, thank God, but it's hard to point out where the extra $ goes. I think that for us it's eating out, and the little stuff, like Starbucks and snacks. For instance, when I take the kids out playing at the mall or whatever, rather than take 5 minutes to pack drinks, water, etc for everyone, I stop and buy it figuring, hey, it's only a couple of dollars. Well, they add up. We are not hurting for $ but sometimes I wish I had the saving gene instead of spending gene!! My old boss used to say, "Take care of the pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves." I guess that holds true. I'm sorry I don't have any advice or help, but just wanted to let you know you are not the only one with this problem. I have thought about setting up a separate savings acct (or even just a jar) and everytime I resist the urge for Starbucks, sodas, etc. put the $ saved in there, just to see what it adds up to. Has anyone else tried this?
Thanks for letting me ramble,
Martha D.
I think you are in the same boat as most people. We want to live by our budget, but we also want a life and enjoy it. I have checked out several books from the library on the subject and would suggest the same to you. Basically, once you have a budget, it just takes will power to stick to it. It also depends if you get paid weekly or monthly to help determine your spending habits. Do you keep a check registrar? I find that writing everything down as soon as I spend it helps me realize I'm spending money I shouldn't. Also, at the beginning of the month, since my husband gets paid monthly, I take out all bills first so I can see visually what I am working with for the month. I have also heard giving yourself an allowance. If you know you are only allowed $150 for the month for extra stuff, then keep the cash in the envelope and once you are done with it, then you are done and stick with it. Other than that, let's just hope we win the lotto so we can keep spending w/o worry! lol
DAVE RAMSEY, DAVE RAMSEY, DVAE RAMSEY www.daveramsey.com & 1-4 p.m. on 570 am KLIF. Best book on the subject is his Total Money Makeover. You both need to read it & work on budgeting as a team. Then listen to Dave daily to keep yourself on track. From a dedicated spender, he has turned around my thinking & we are reaping the benefits of it with a much larger reserve of cash than EVER before- in 15 years of marriage! And we have NO credit cards. We have no need, b/c we live w/in our means. Emergencies are taken care of w. cash reserves, then replenished.
Good luck!
Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover book lays out how to set up a monthly and weekly cash flow budget. You basically look at ALL of your regular expenses over a year and break them down into weekly and monthly budgets. For example, think about what you spend for Christmas -- this is presents, extra food for dinner parties, a couple of road trips (gas, hotel), etc. Now break that amount down into a monthly allotment. Take the cash and stuff it into a "Christmas" envelope each month.
Take auto tags and inspection. These things aren't a surprise - you know you'll be getting them every year. So take that $200ish or so per year (ours is about $60 per car for registration and maybe $40 each for inspection), and break it down monthly, put it in an envelope.
Same thing for birthdays -- your family, friends, the people you buy for regularly, plus a few extra invites... This is where it can be difficult. You may be used to buying a $20 gift for a friend's kid. If you look at the total on birthday gifts, it can get pretty high. We've limited the amount per gift to $10.
The book lists all of these annual things -- anniversary, family vacation, homeowners insurance and taxes, school supplies.
It also lists your weekly and monthly expenses to consider -- groceries, paper products, toiletries, hair cuts, eating out, week-day lunches (if your husband eats out at work), car insurance, life insurance, utilities, cell phone (all the regular bills), debt payments, diapers, weekend "fun" money, etc.
You're giving everything a category. The problem probably isn't that you're an extravagant spender (we weren't), but that you just don't have a cap on all these different categories.
Once you look at all the amounts, you can move numbers around as you work out what's real. Honestly, though, there are some trade-offs to make. If you want more in weekend fun money, maybe you give up a couple fast food lunches. Maybe switching to generic diapers will leave room for monthly eyebrow waxes... :-)
If you need help setting up your budget, I know an excellent budget counsellor in Denton. She was free when we used her, but may charge a nominal fee now (it's been 5 years since we first started seeing her). She can set you up on this type of budget and literally hold your hand through it for about 6 months.
Hope this helps!
Hey there - I am just sharing what we do here...
Both of us work - but we are in our 1st home (almost 2 yrs now!) and I feel it's VERY important to stick with a budget - that way we both know whats what...
Honestly - all I do is use an excel spread sheet - design it any way you'd like - it has help tremendously here!!! It allows me alot of freedom actually - to not carry the weight of the bills around on my shoulders all the time. If we want to splurge - we know what we have to do that on -
If you have more specific questions - just ask!
Dave Dave Dave....my hubby and I are into the total money makeover book and workbork right now. its all common sense really but he keeps you own track. its step by step sooo easy and once your into you'll love not having money issues every other week. We also went to see him when he was here in Dallas a few months ago. He's soooo awsome. On his websites his books are often on sale for ten bucks. Well worth the investment. Good Luck.
We finally went to a cash only method for weekly extras....not bills, but anything extra like birthday presents, stops at a restaurant, things for the kids, makeup, etc.
Also, we track EVERYTHING on an excel spreadsheet and review it once a week to see how we are doing compared to our monthly budget.
Nope, you're not alone! There are so many of us out there that go thru the very same thing. Great post, Michele!
I quit my job back in Feb to stay home and sell Home Interiors. I make a pretty good income from it. It's not my $50K a year, stressful, nundane, chaotic "real" job, but I am so much happier and so much more in my element with what I do now.
I did put together a very detailed Excel spreadsheet a month or so ago, but it's hard to see everything at one time and also hard for my husband to understand what all my formulas do, etc., etc., etc. He has used Microsoft Money for a long time, but he drives me crazy because he can't spell work a darn, and he is not very organized with it. So I have told him I will help him with the bills since we, too, never have any money left over, but I can't stand to use that stupid Microsoft Money that he has all jacked up! I've been thinking about going back to the old paper ledger. My neighbor does that, and it works well for her.
I hope there are suggestions out there for us because we need help, too!
We use 3 accounts - one for bills, gas and food, one for my hubby's expenses and one for mine. We each get an allowance each pay period that we can spend on whatever we want but we cannot borrow from the "bill account" without consulting the other. We also never make purchases over $50 for the home without consulting the other. It makes a huge difference for us - especially since my husband pays the bills and he does not balance the checkbook! ahhh!! I used to pay the bills but he wanted to take it over - sometimes I wonder what I was thinking...he he. With the allowance system we do have money left over to put towards our debt most months because we are not needlessly spending. We use the allowance accounts for lunches at work too - this keeps the extra "out to lunch" expenses from hitting the bill account.
I need to check out Dave Ramsey too - I've heard great things about his program.
Michele,
Budgeting is a hard thing to stick to, but it can be done! I read there are a lot of people on here who use Excel... hat's off to them! I am not literate when it comes to spreadsheets! Really, when making a budget, it is really about coming up with something that makes sense to YOU, and makes it easy for YOU to stick with. (By You, I mean you and your family.) I guess just hearing what others are doing may end up sparking an idea of your own. Here is what my family does...
My husband gets paid every two weeks. So, my budget sheet (made on Word, with unintimidating font and a nice clipart picture) is divided up into halves.
The first half is Week One, the second obviously, is Week Two. I have listed on each half the bills that we pay with that check, how much they normally are, and a line next to each bill so I can write in the exact amount. That way, I can make sure they stay consistent, and have easy record that they were paid that month.
I also have on there how much money I need to get out of the ATM for the week. I have things on there that aren't really bills, but we need to have the cash on hand. Like my son's guitar, gas money, a new book for my daughter, beer money, and "Fun Money". This fun money is for things like going out to eat, renting a movie, and other things like that. It is really important not to cut yourself short on that fun money, because when you are PMSing and really wanting some McDonalds... you should be taking it out of the Fun Money... not the bank!
Anyway, I am sure you get the idea. All of our Fun Money is then divided up into appropriate amounts, and put in envelopes that I have labeled for their purpose (like gas money... etc).
Another tip is to have your account set up to automatically trasfer some money into savings. I always thought I would automatically just DO it - but something always gets in the way. So, we picked a small amount of $25, and every month on the 15th, it just goes to savings. It is on my bill list for the month, so I just take it out of the register like all the other bills. By doing this, we magically have over $400 in there with no effort. Not a lot of money - but it is there when it otherwise would not have been.
Bottom line - find something that works for you and your family. Be realistic about how much money you normally spend for your "Fun Money", or else you WILL be dipping into your account when you shouldn't be!
Good luck!
Erin
I understand and I feel the exact same way! My husband also makes good money and there should be plenty left over each month for savings. (We are saving for a down payment for a bigger place now that kiddos are coming along.) I'm an impulse spender and the little "$3 for coffee here, $5 for lunch there" really add up! I've been writing down everything I've spent the past month, and let me tell you... it's been really eye-opening! That's really helped me curb my spending already, because I don't want to have to write it down!
I am going to take a Crown Financial Ministry class at my church. It's something I've been wanting to do for a long time but couldn't talk my husband into, as we both worked. But now that we are on one income, I know that I need to learn how to budget and make wise financial decisions on a daily basis. So this class is for women and meets once a week in the morning, and will be practical and hands on.
I've also heard great things about Dave Ramsey and I know he has a lot of really good resources at his website.
My parents used a paper ledger for years. Each section showed how much was alloted each month and they wrote in deposits and withdrawls based on paychecks and receipts. They've recently switched to Quicken, which they really like. My dad pays the bills, but my mom is in charge of entering everything into Quicken and keeping track of how they are doing overall.
The best thing is to figure out what will work for you and what will help you stick to it. And both you and your husband need to be committed to it and communicate with each other, esp. if one is a saver and one is a spender (like my husband and I.)
Good luck!
If you want to stay home you do need to be on a buget with no credit cards. Spend only what you have and no more. Figure your total income. List all your major bills and make sure they are covered. Whatever is left over will be for groceries,entertanment,doctors and savings. It's hard to at first but the rewards of staying home with the children out way the "I Wants" or having the best. Good luck and don't wait. Debbie
9 Steps to financial freedom by Suze Orman changed our lives and our finances!
I highly recommend this book, we also used www.wesabe.com
it's a website that hooks up with your checking account and every time you use your card it will record the transaction and classify it in a spending summary so let's say you have a tag for "groceries" so every time you use your card at walmart that amount will be added to the category "groceries" that way you know how much you spend in "Gas" "groceries" "clothing" "electricity" etc.
You name your own tags and put as many or as little as you want depending on your expenses so it's very user friendly.
Good luck!!!