I have two beautiful children, they are by far the greatest gift in the world. With that said,I have NO desire to have anymore of my own. But, I do love being pregnant. I decided to give the gift of a child to another family by being a surrogate. I've done some research, and I've found the perfect family to carry for. I will carry her embryo, the child will have no genetic attachment to me of any kind. I truly adore the family I have chosen.
I'm wondering if there are any other moms out there, on either side of the surrogacy equation that would like to share their story or offer some support. I'm wondering what its like to be on fertility drugs, and about the whole invitro process. THANKS!
hi again crystal :) i dont have any experience myself, but my cousin works for a surrogacy agency, she has been doing it for years and just loves it, they connect people all over the world and walk them through the process and whatever else they do, and she becomes and stays very close with lots of the families...i am sure she could tell you anything you want to know. if you are interested, i can ask her to email you if you give me your email add. take care, deb
I have no experience on either end. However, I just wanted to say that if you do decide to do this then God Bless you for help making other people, less fortunate than us, as happy and as lucky as we are. You would truly be a blessing to many!
Dear Crystal.
i have no experince in that either but god bless you is all i can say you are a very special person to do that for a family good luck and again god bless you luann.
ps i am a mom of 4 children ages 21 years 18 years and 8 and a 5 month old
Crystal
Unfortunately, I don't have experience but my heart jumped when reading your inquiry. I echo the other responses . . . God Bless and keep you. You're a wonderful person. Motherhood is the greatest gift.
Regards - Annette
I've always wanted to do this myself, but I thought I read somewhere that it is illegal in NY? Maybe I'm mistaken.. but best of luck to you!! :)
I have absolutely no experience with surrogacy! I just wanted to say what a wonderful unselfish person I think you must be to give such a wonderful gift to a childless couple. Good luck and may God bless you, your family, and the family you are helping to create!!
First let me start by saying I wish you all the best on your endeavor! I had started to process of being a surrogate myself last fall - it didn't go well. Here is my story & what I learned form the experience:
I had a very close friend of mine lose a baby in her 2nd trimester & she almost died too. It was very devistating to her & her husband. She was told no more pregnancies. So I offered to be a surrogate since I had a relatively easy time w/ my pregnancies. Once all the legal paperwork & initial testing was complete (it took months) we were finally able to start on the drugs & hormones to see if my body would respond to artificial stimulation. Well, I learned more about my body, my pregnancies, & being a woman in those few months than I had in my life! I found out how strong my hormones are & resistant to drugs they are and that my pregnancies weren't as "easy" as I originally thought. My husband was very supportive through the whole process - make sure you have a good support system! (He was most looking forward to unprotected sex.) I thought I was finally in the clear after being on the pill for 2 months & we had sex. Two days later I went in for my weekly check up & found out I was ovulating & due to timing there was a chance that I might get pregnant! I had to stop everything & wait! I felt awful & guilty & dreaded telling my friend! Fortunately she was very supportive also & totally understood. I got my period & we started the drugs all over again. We (the doctors & I) tried for 3 cycles to get my body to respond properly, each time uping the drug dosages. It was killer. They are basically putting your body into early menopause so you don't ovulate, but then giving you hormones so the lining of you uterus will thicken like it does when you do ovulate.
I eventually had to withdraw because the side effects were too much for me. I had horrible headaches, was short tempered w/ my kids, bruises from the needles, plus all the typical symptoms of menopause! And during the whole pregnancy scare, I was actually excited at the prospect, even though I thought our family was complete! It was the most gut wrenching decision & it broke my heart to have to tell my friend, but I couldn't go on.
I think what you are doing is very noble & having embarked on the adventure myself I know you have only the best of intentions. I did too & will forever have to live with the guilt of letting my friend down, but I don't regret my decision; surrogacy wasn't for me. It takes a strong woman to do it so kudos to you!
My advice: make sure you do lots of research before you sign anything - the web is an invaluable resource. Don't go in blind like me, just believing in faith, make sure you know what you're getting into. I wasn't prepared for all I experienced & never expected for it to get as bad as it did. I too enjoyed being pregnant & had a relatively easy time conceiving so I figured this would be easy too, I was SO wrong! Conceiving naturally vs. artificially is two totally different ballgames! I wish I had known before I started so I could have been more mentally prepared. Read up on the drugs they will be putting you on & the side effects. Know your family's medical history. Be prepared to be poked & prodded like you have never been before! Make sure you are comfortable w/ needles, you will be giving yourself shots everyday (I quickly had to get over my phobia!) Mostly, as I said before, have a good support system in place & Be prepared!!
I wish you the best of luck & hope you have greater success than I did!
PS Feel free to contact me if you want to talk about it further.
It is really grateful if you want to do this for another family. My sister also had got the surrogacy from the clinic that is biotexcom in Ukraine. I was with her during the whole process. We consult with the clinic, they told us the detailed process of matching with a surrogate, the legalities, different packages for the process, and basic medical information. Then Surrogate has undergone a typical screening process involves an extensive medical and psychological assessment as well as through criminal and financial background checks.Then a legal agreement had signed from the surrogate by the clinic. and facilitate introductions between us and the surrogate. Prior to engaging in the actual process of IVF, my sister and surrogate complete medical screening as directed by the reproductive endocrinologist facilitating the process.The process of in vitro fertilization and embryo transfer is managed and completed under the leadership of a reproductive endocrinologist. When the joy of pregnancy is achieved, coordination staff remains there for support and ensure that surrogate is prepared for the birth of the child. After completing the whole process successfully, It was the glorious moment for us when my sister picks the baby in her arms.Hope your journey also be successful, In this way, you will be the reason of happiness of others.
Thank you all for your well wishes. I wasnt expecting that at all. I’m very excited to do this, and its been something I’ve considered before I had children of my own. The process wont begin until after my I wean my daughter. She’ll be a year in August, so we are hoping to start the process before the holidays.
Thank you all so much!! Blessings to you and your families!