Our dog, Lilah, was my son's best friend. She was a black Lab who has grown up with my son. We got her when he was 14 months old, and she died today. My son is distraught. How can I make it easier for him? And me! This is so hard.
I don't have any advice for you, but I wanted to write and tell you I'm sorry! It's terribly sad to lose such a sweet friend.
Well, here's something...
When my grandmother died - we were very close - I wanted to make her life continue beyond itself, share her goodness with others as best I could. It was very comforting to me. She was a hypnotherapist, so I've shared her study guide hypnosis tapes with my friends, and I've told people about wise things she'd say. I know it's very different for your son, but maybe you could join him in being compassionate toward other animals in honor of Lilah. Maybe you could join him in being vegetarian for a week. (Did you know that pigs are at least as smart as dogs?) Maybe you could make a donation to the Humane Society or Peaceful Prairie (http://www.peacefulprairie.org/sponsor.html), and he could donate some of his allowance toward that, if he gets an allowance.
Sending you a hug.
Liev
You don't say how old your son is. Losing a pet is hard on kids (and adults), and there's a limit to how much easier you can nake it for him. I have cried every time I have lost a pet, and I'm middle-aged now.
He needs to grieve, just like anyone would who had lost a good friend. Grieving and healing takes time, and you can't rush the process.
Let him cry if he wants to cry when he misses her. If you feel like crying with him, that's okay too. When he gets down, remind him of all the fun they had playing together, and encourage him to think about that when he gets sad. Explain to him that animals get old a lot faster than people do, and when they et old, they die, just like people do. Remind him that she loved him too, and that she would not have left him if she had a choice in the matter.
DON'T try to immediately get another dog. After he has had some time to grieve and heal a little, you can bring up the subject of going to the pound and adopting one.
Well we have a area in our yard that our pets have been buried. We do a simple funeral for dog and the family puts there flower on grave and talk about it. we just lost our dog and it was like loose a family member we was so close. Then not planning it we went to my daughters Band praide And a gentleman was selling puppies and we got one and that helped alot. sorry for your loss will keep in prayers.
Your son is grieving -- and you have to go through grief. You can't ignore it and you can't go around it. You have to go through it. Let him know that it is okay to grieve, but that it will get better over time. Expect the cycles of grief: denial, anger, etc. Perhaps you can do some of the things people do for comfort when they are grieving the loss of a human loved one. If it will help, maybe you can have a memorial ceremony where you talk about good memories and fun traits your dog had. Then have a prayer, thanking God for giving such a good companion to you for so long. Then, after the tears, go out to eat or have something special for dinner. Perhaps you and your son can put together a scrapbook and/or a memory box about Lilah. Maybe you can take a donation of dog food and treats to your local animal shelter or animal rescue. These are time-proven ways of helping people come to terms with grief. Maybe one of them will help your son.
And my condolences!
Susan B.
Let him know it's okay to grieve and even be angry. Memory boxes help sometimes and if he is so inclined, writing a story about the dog, a poem, or painting a picture. There is no set time to grieve and it may hurt a long time. When he's ready, get another dog, but perhaps a different breed so he's not expecting it to be just like the one he lost.
We lost our Collie three years ago who had grown up with my son. My son is now 15 and still misses him tremendously. I think the first time someone dies whom they really love it's very hard because even though they know about death, having it actually happen is a shock they weren't expecting. With any death, animal or person, I think it's important to focus on the happy memories, and laugh when you can. I also agree about the memory book.
And, as a mom, I know how difficult it is for you, because you are grieving as well, and adding to your burden is seeing your son so sad, and usually when he's that sad, you make it all better. This time you can't. I'm so sorry for the two of you. (((HUGS)))
I'm not sure how old your son is, but I highly recommend checking out the book "The Best Cat in the World" by Leslea Newman - it's a tearjerker, so read it yourself before you read it aloud with your son, just so you're ready yourself. It is very cathartic for children to see that they are not alone in grieving over a pet, and the book points out the light at the end of a tunnel of grief in a way that kids can grasp.
As with most things, each child deals with things differently than the next. One of my children finds peace visiting and talking at the burial site (as I do), and another writes poems and journal entries to help her "remember and respect" our lost pet. Give him options and grieve with him.
Get him a lab puppy a s a p
A S A P time heals and he will love this dog also
so will U
the best thing is to get him another dog will get him mind off the dog that died good luck
Thanks for all your help. He is 11, and is having a hard time. We will try writing stories and laughing when we are able.