So the other day i was chatting with a lady at work about being prego, we have a 11mth old and i am 10weeks pregnant. The lady said in kinda a harsh tone You know you cant have another baby shower because you just had one last yr. People dont give baby showers back to back like that..... My kids will be 18mths apart, so if im not suppose to then ok whatever but i have just never heard of this before is it rude to have 2 baby showers within 18mths or was this coworker just being a pain ( prob jealous) lol
thanks ladies
Kristy in Texas
In our family, Baby showers are only given for baby #1. I thought it was proper ediquette to only have a shower for the first baby.
Well, I am with your co-worker. It is tacky, but even more tacky of her to say something and jump to this conclusion JUST because you were talking about being preggers!
BUT, LOVE to have sip -n-see after baby is here. Sometimes people bring gifts, sometimes not, but it is a way to celebrate the birth and a sweet new baby without the strings attached to a shower (hence showering new mother/new bride, etc with gifts and essentials - which any second time mom should have).
Oh dear.
Well, on here, you are going to get varying opinions on this, as usual. Most of which I will probably disagree with regarding this issue.
I cannot see how it is rude OF YOU if someone else hosts a shower for you. If someone wants to host a shower for you - by all means let them! And the way your post is written, a lot of the moms on here will assume you are asking about hosting your own. I doubt you are. I have never known anyone to do that.
I have never requested a shower be hosted for me, and I don't think many moms have. My friends just always took the initiative, whether I wanted them to or not! And I was always grateful!!
My friends would never dream of not having a shower for me for all three of my babies, and I wouldn't dream of not having one for them, no matter how many kids.
I don't care if you have 15 kids, if someone wants to host a baby shower for that 16th kid for you, THEY CAN and YOU CAN BE THE HONORED GUEST.
And I wouldn't invite your rude coworker.
A baby shower is a time to celebrate mom and baby. Every baby and every mom deserves a shower. Why is baby #1 more important or deserving? What if you had a girl the first time around and have nothing for your upcoming boy? Or, like me, I donated all of my baby items from my first two thinking I was done having kids, then here came humber 3 (6 years later).
If you already have everything you need for the baby, tell the guests not to bring gifts or instead do something else, like an IOU for food once baby arrives or donations to someplace - be creative. And I assume you wouldn't be hosting your own shower - so when you provide a list of guests to the host, leave off the rude people!
=)
Happy Pregnancy
I personally dont see the problem. If people dont want to come or attend then they dont have to.
But in my opinion, every baby deserves to have one. It's a welcoming party for the new baby. I love baby showers. I also love it when people wait until after the baby is here, because really who's party is it? :)
Added:
Why does there always have to be a rule for these things?? A new baby is cause for celebration. EVERY baby deserves it's own party, because EVERY new baby is a MIRACLE! Isnt that deserving of a party or shower?? I certainly think it is. What better reason is there?
Kristy, if you want a baby shower, then you have one! Who cares if its your second baby? Its still a new baby, and you will love it just as much as your first. This baby, whatever its gender is and how ever long they are in between is no difference. Have a baby shower, whether people think its tacky or not, they dont have to attend if they think it is, and If people want to give gifts then wonderful, if not then they can attend and show their support and chat for awhile. Gift isnt necessary, its appreciated.
You give that baby a good welcoming party! :)
Christy took my words exactly! Tacky! I'm with your coworker.
I just had a conversation about this yesterday with one of my coworkers and told her the same thing, it's just greedy to have a shower for the 2nd baby unless there's like a huge gap between 1 and 2.
I requested that not to have one with my second...I don't t think they are necessary and yes I do think they are on the rude side.
On the other hand I still go when I'm invited to...I have a friend and she has had a baby shower for all four kids...
On the other hand I know ppl who have had kids 10 years apart...I can see why they would have another shower.
I had a shower for each pregnancy.
For my second and third, I requested that guests make a donation of Clothes:socks, underwear, undershirts...pajamas. To Tree House. It is an organization here is Washington state that helps Foster kids get the essentials that every kid needs, but not always can afford.
When I worked for Nordstroms this organization was a big part of working for the company. We would go and work in the warehouse processing donations. I got to see first hand how many kids are in need of just simple everyday stuff.
You can always have a shower and ask people to make donation. I found that I still got gifts from people(not everyone though) even with the donation suggestion! I just got to help a great cause out too.
Throwing your own second shower--tacky. If your friends choose to throw one--perfectly okay.
The shower is to welcome the baby--and all babies deserve a party!!
Well my kids are 4 years apart.
I had showers for both of them.
Hosted by someone else.
That woman, was being real snotty with you.
You can, but since the timing is close together---call it a "sprinkle shower" its not the full blown shower with all the new mom/baby things--its the essentials: diapers, wipes, a few cute new outfits, paci's etc. things you need but not the big items like crib,strollers, carseat etc. I think your co-worker was rude to say that, but she also has a point-unless the baby's are different genders, most people wouldn't have a full blown shower within 18mos. They would have a sprinkle shower. Thats what I would do~ Congrats and let us know what you decided.
M
It is tacky as hell to request a shower even for your first! The second one hell no and throwing your own is tacky as well.
If someone throws you one you gracefully accept. Someone throwing you one is not you dropping hints that you want one for eight months, you should actually be surprised.
I believe it is ok to have a "Sprinkle" for the 2nd baby as long as it's a different gender.
I just hosted a "Sprinkle" for my cousin who already had a two year old boy and was expecting a girl.
Generally is it expected that Mom's keep/save baby stuff from the first shower and re-use them till they are done having kids.
There are sometimes exceptions.
Sometimes if a Mom had kids 10-20 years ago and now has a later in life surprise, then she'll need baby stuff again.
Or if it is discovered there will be twins/triplets/etc she might need more than she might otherwise have for one baby at a time.
Also, showers are generally thrown by friends/relatives.
You might work with them on it, but you don't throw one for yourself.
I have a 12 month old and am 31 weeks pregnant - they will be 15 months apart, both boys! I told my friends I didn't NEED a baby shower, because I really do have everything I need. But they insisted. They WANTED to throw one, just a small get together of close friends at one of their houses. I am looking forward to it:) I also have several friends that in the last couple years have had 2nd kids - in most situations it is also boys coming after boys or girls coming after girls, and they have all had 2nd showers too. But its because friends/family have wanted to host it. Not because any of us have asked.
So I guess to answer your question, I think it would be odd to ASK for one, and/or register for things you should already have, but if your friends want to throw you one as an excuse to get together and celebrate your new bundle of joy, then I don't think there is anything wrong with it and I wouldn't be offended by it. Congrats!
EDIT: After reading some of the responses I realized I forgot to mention, we call them "sprinkles" too...none of the big baby items are given, just small items/diapers etc. It's really just an excuse to get together, not so much about the gifts.
A baby shower has always been for the first baby. Generally the mom's used the same baby bed, car seats, bottles, high chairs, etc... from baby to baby. As for getting new clothes for a new baby that usually happens when the baby is born and people come to visit.
There are several moms at my church that have 4-6 boys and finally got that baby girl. They got baby showers and got all pink girly stuff. That makes sense to me.
With all due respect...why would you think she's jealous? Having kids is a blessing not a competition. I'm in the camp that a 2nd shower IS tacky even if it's for the "other" sex AND if it's YEARS later--certainly not 18 months later. You don't "depend" on a shower to get what you want or need. It's for some basics for first time parents. Don't worry though--the people who know you well enough will certainly throw a gift your way.
As for throwing one's own shower? Ridiculous!
You can certainly "celebrate every baby" but you don't need a shower to do that! Host a meet-the-baby at your home after the birth. That's in much better taste and not perceived at all as a grab-for-gifts!
She was being a bit snippy, but I think she's correct. I've always thought it's only for the 1st baby, unless the babies are really far apart or are twins/triplets...
I love the idea of a "sprinkle!"
Personally? I believe that EVERY baby needs to be welcomed into the world....
yeah - they are a little close together - so what? just have a small one..
Kristy - You will get answers all over the board on this. Some people think you are being selfish...which is hogwash IMHO. Some people just want to celebrate every baby...which is great! I think that if someone wants to throw a babyshower for you then that's awesome. I am so glad I have friends that wanted to rejoice and party with me with every single pregnancy...and I have THREE kids! gasp!
Laura