A wedding is just one day... the marriage is (hopefully!!) for the rest of your lives. Who cares about etiquitte and what you're supposed to/expected to do??? Do whatever feels right to you. You don't have to invite people you don't really want to invite. You can use paper products for sure. I don't know anyone from IL and how things work there, but I have been to weddings the "south" (GA, SC) where it was all home cooked food made by family members and church friends and it was so awesome. Pick a few things that are important to you that you can splurge on and do the rest on a tight budget. No one will care, and the ones who do aren't worth worrying about!
Hi Susana, I have seen all types of budgets. I have seen hors devours, BBQ, make your own bean burrito, the whole nine yards. There are some great things you can do yourself, if you are creative and you have the time. Remember time goes quick! If you are planning to do things on your own, I hope you have about a year to prepare, or a lot of helping hands. I suggest, if you are having a small meal, you say that in the invite..."Please join us for hors devours and cake in celebration of our special day". That just lets your guests know not to expect a full meal and they should have some sort of dinner or sandwich before they attend. If you cook your own food, which I often do for my parties, you have to prepare food that it is possible a day before the reception and then the other food will have to be cooked about 5:00 a.m., so that you have time for yourself to prepare for the day. I usually start about 5 a.m. I am sure the neighbors wonder what is wrong with me and why I cook at such odd times. Have fun!!!!
To keep my expenses down, we were married in Vegas and whoever wanted to come, came. Then afterwards, we ate at Maggiano's. I say go to Las Vegas. Believe me, it does not lessen the feelings of happiness.
I really don't think favors are truly necessary. We didn't want to give our guests more of the same crap we had received at other weddings we had gone to. We ended up doing a candy bar. We got little plastic bags and a bunch of jars and filled all the jars with different types of candy. everyone was able to make their own little treat bag. If you are getting any time you can take advantage of the post Easter sales and stock up. If you were to do this, don't forget to get little scoops for the candy jars so people don't have to eat stuff that others have touched!
We had our reception at an American Legion Hall and I think we paid $500 for the hall (it would have been $250 if we had less people) and were allowed to bring in our own food. The bar was most expensive part.
Good luck and have fun!
for favors for our wedding we got plastic champagne glasses. we put little dinner mints and covered that with tulle we tied a ribbon around it and attached plastic wedding rings with a ribbon. they were really pretty and people liked the mints.
You have some wonderful responses already! I too planned our entire wedding on a very small budget that we paid for out of pocket. We did our entire wedding on less than $2000 and I managed to do it in 6 months. Definitely enlist good friends and family members to help, as well as use any connections you may have!!! One of our biggest expenses was the reception hall. We rented the local American Legion for $200. My husband is a Vet so that helped w/ that cost (cheaper for members... so if you know someone willing to "rent" it for you thats a plus.) Since they did not have any Legion events going on they were kind enough to allow us in to decorate the night before...no extra charge. (Its amazing what/where a little talking with the right person will get you) Our decor was simple... white table cloths that we got at a party store on sale, we used paper/plastic plates, forks, etc. Centerpieces were a tall slender tube vase w/ a single lily surrounded by small votive candles that we purchased in bulk from Michaels (using coupons!) I then used our printer to make little, clear labels for the candles that had my husband & I's name and our wedding date... these doubled as favors! We had our ceremony at a beautiful park in the area, which didn't cost us anything. As far as food went, we did have a full dinner, BUT it was some of our home-cooked favorites. My mom, aunt & cousin did all of the cooking. As far as dresses, I purchased mine & my daughters (our 18mo old flower girl) from a website that I happened to run across. I got both dresses, the crinolin & her basket for under $300. You might want to check it out. www.bridalstoreonline.com they also are listed under www.romanticgowns.com now. (I had fallen in love w/ a dress at a high priced, local bridal store. I definitely couldn't afford it & the salesgirl knew I loved it... knowing she could have lost her job if anyone else would have heard, she gave me the designer name & I started searching for it.... found it on this site, the exact dress for $850 less!!)
The main thing to remember is this day is about YOU & your hubby-to-be. Enjoy it and don't let "proper traditions" stand in your way :)
I did not read all the responses, but I would think you could have a simple wedding and reception. I have been to several weddings where they had only cake and things to drink at the reception. The reception was not a huge shindig, just a simple congratulatory type thing.
One thing I will say, I tried to save money by doing everything myself (not the food, but everything else pretty much.....rented a space, tables, table cloths, set it up all myself etc). In the end, it did not save me much money and I was stressed beyond belief. In hindsight, it wasn't worth it. If you do a simple reception it might not be that big of a problem, but if you want to do the whole dinner and dancing thing, I feel that it is worth it to pay the little bit extra to have the "in house" people take care of it for you, if there is an option like this that you have.
We had a dessert & coffee reception. Ceremony at 8pm... reception to follow, gave our guests enough time to eat beforehand. Ditto no alchohol. (Easy for us, half the guest list was in AA). Our biggest (and most worthwhile, IMHO) expenses were the photographer & the dress. I remember very little of my wedding... but the pictures are GORGEOUS.
On the dress... DON'T wait. Dresses can be altered, but they don't appear out of thin air. I was still losing baby weight (we got married 2 years after kiddo was born... he was our ring bearer :), so my dress was actually altered 6 times. I was actually trying NOT to lose any more weight by the end, merely to stop the need for alterations.
Anyhow.. we had 80 people, and pulled it off for about 3k.
I got married in 1998. We were married in Hawaii and it was a dream. We decided that the reception was definitely to honor our families and friends. We delayed having the reception for about five months until we were settled. This worked very well. I am a chef and so I prepared the main dishes for about 70 people. It was semi pot luck because some of our guests were so moved as to wish to contribute. The wine was mid grade. The age range was from 8 months to 80. All had a great time. Marriage is challenging enough with the expenses, merging lifestyles, etc. What we did was simple, fit our personalities and involved a lot of creativity and work. It set the tone of who we have been growing to be. The dollar store is a great place to shop. I use it for events I do now and where do you think the planners shop at? The expense of a wedding does not determine the quality of the union. That happens over time. I have been to plenty over the top affairs in recent years that deteriorated into emotional tragedies because of financial burdens. Most of all, have fun.
First off, it is YOUR wedding so you can do it the way YOU want to! When I married my wonderful husband almost 9 yrs ago (on 5/26) we got married outdoors in the shelter of a local park that we loved. We also had a small budget and are not fancy people, so we did things very simply. My best friend made my 3 bridesmaid dresses (including her own); I made the flower girl and junior bridesmaid dress. For food, we had many people volunteer to help. My dad roasted a hog on his roaster, some friends fried 2 turkeys and grilled 2. Everyone was invited to wear jeans (since it was western themed and outdoors) and bring a dish to pass. We used paper plates/napkins/silverwear, etc. In spite of the cold temperatures and pouring rain, people are still (almost 9 yrs later) talking about what a fun, relaxed, beautiful wedding we had and how much they all enjoyed it. I think that if you are doing what you want to celebrate your love, then whatever you choose to do will be wonderful. CONGRATULATIONS, and good luck to you! - Jen
Susan,
I have been to weddings where the bride's family made all the food and it was a wonderful buffet dinner. I have also seen appetizers and soft drinks & punch and everyone at the reception danced all night. I have also seen cake and punch only receptions (much shorter, usually immediately following the wedding and at the church).
Your wedding guests will be there to support you, not get a free meal, so do the best you can and be proud of it.
Also, wedding favors are NOT required and I really doubt most people keep them after the wedding. If they do keep them, most of them get put away and forgotten about. If you are worried about your budget, I would forget the favors.
You can have a beautiful wedding on a budget. One of our favorite weddings with really good food was at a VFW where the bride's family/friends cooked pulled pork and corn on the cob. It was the best food and it was very informal so I think it helped everyone relax and have a great time. I think when wedding are too formal the guests don't get to relax as well.
The only important thing about a wedding is that the two people getting married are happy! So, whatever you choose is perfect.
Our wedding was outdoors - in the gardens at school where we met...and our reception was with appetizers. It was also low budget...there were 65 people...I agree with the posts about having buffet at your house - this is how we have handled all our high school graduations...or barbecue...I agree you don't have to have "party favors".
SInce you already have a ton of answers I'll keep this brief. Three years ago my husband and I got married at a log cabin with only my son and another couple present. The following summer we had a wedding/first anniversary celebration at our home. We had a pig roast, cooked beef, and a ton of side dishes. (some catered, most prepared by myself and a few close friends and family members) My mother-in-law did all the desserts. (we skipped the traditional wedding cake) Everyone RAVED about the food and desserts
and I seriously doubt that anyone cared that we didn't have party favors. We had a friend operate the stereo system and hired a couple teenagers to help with set-up and clean up so we didn't have to worry about any of that. Despite the rain and very cool temps it was the perfect way to celebrate and we didn't break the bank doing it! Congratulations!
I personally feel like wedding favors are a waste - I usually toss mine from a wedding I attended in the garbage.
I was very selective about where my funds, went, I only had one bridesmaid and she got to use a former bridesmaid dress. I had simple flowers (asked the florist to guide me) Had it at a beautiful venue (patrick Haley Mansion) and eliminated what I felt wasn't important. It is after all your day.
Congratulations!
hi there i got married almost 5 years ago to my high school sweet heart and since we got married right out of high school we did not have much money and my parents could not pay for much so we did a lot of things our selfs. to start we made all our invites. or u can now evern buy then a walmart for cheap. we made all our food because me and my husband are picky eaters but we saved hunderds of dollars doing it ourselfs and it tasted much better. also we did do party favors but we made those too. a cute but easy idea i did for my cousins wedding is u take a plastic spoon put 2 chocolate kisses on it wrap it with laces tie it with sting and attach a little card that says a spoon full of kisses from the new mr and mrs. it is super cute and everyone loved them. i also with help from my mom made all the table center pieces and flower arranments. we also made the bows and things that were at the church. we kept the cost way down and it all looked great. it didnt look cheap at all people thought we spent a lot of money. hope this helps good luck with everything congrates on getting married
Where is your reception going to be? I think appetizers are OK. Dinner is a regional thing. East coast and Chicago are sit-down dinner - whereas many other parts of the country is appetizers. In the South, it's just desserts!
Favors are not necessary. Especially, once you go cheap, they just get thrown away. For inexpensive ones, candles are a great idea as they will get used, but I would just forgo it altogether.
Reception-saving tips (i am a certified wedding planner): you don't have to have a sit-down meal! you can do a cocktail reception instead with just appetizers, cocktails and cake, if you'd like. However, if you choose this route, make sure you note that "Cocktail Reception to follow" or similar verbiage so that your guests are aware that it won't be a full meal. Plus, you can get away with using paper/plastic plates and utensils this way. For food safety purposes (and to avoid anyone labeling tacky), i would not recemmond making you own food food.
The cake is another big expense and you can trim that in a couple ways: 1.)if you know someone who can make it for you or 2.) i've seen lots of people with more untraditional "cakes" made from cupcakes put together really beautifully. if done right, this can look really neat.
Have a talented friend serve as photographer and/or videographer. Digital cameras can do amazing things!
For your dress, seriously, David's Bridal has some VERY lovely and economical options.
That's all i can think of with a squirmy baby on my lap, but if i think of more, i'll post again.
God's Blessings to both of you for finding each other and making you life together!!!
For inexpensive party favors, here is what I have done in the past. I made up scrolls with different quotes on them that talked about love and thanked the guests for coming. You can help get quotes online or just write your own thoughts / letter to your guests. I printed 4 of them on a piece of paper (I used tranparent paper) and then cut them with scissors with a cut pattern on them. Then around the edges I lightly rubbed it colored chalk. Finally, I rolled them up and tied a ribbon around it. The biggest expense with this project is the paper.
I host fundraiser annually and the first year we had a buffett dinner for all of the guests and the second year we order just appetizers. Believe it or not, it was cheaper to order the buffet dinner and there was much more food.
Remeber, this is your day - do it the way you want. Best of luck and Congratulations!
Carrie
U have alot of respones and I have not read any of them! We had our reception at a private club that my parents got for free since they where members and we decorated on our own the night before! We used some wedding stuff from the dollar store, streamers, wedding bells (big ones,small ones) we got tables clothes at the dollare store and for center pieces we got small glass bowel and put fish rocks in the bottom and put a fish in each one or ur u can do flowers from the dollar store. That is the thing Dollar stores carry everything, even the ballons and the tanks u need to blow then up and u will save money. As far as food, we did our own. Walmarts chicken is awesome. It is really good. Go buy the tin food warmers, they are really cheap and I believe I got mine at Big Lots. The chicken is cheap as well and then just decide what sides u want to go with it! Good Luck and Congrats!!!