First - Congratulations on your addition. It's an exciting time. I'm German with a 4 yr DS and a 2 yr DD. I've been speaking German to them even before they were born. They both understand me, and hubby is starting to pick up more too. DS is starting to say full sentences in German now and DD will repeat words. It helps to have them repeat a sentence word for word :) We bought a regional free dvd player to play German movies for kids and listen to German cds in the car - one favorite is The very hungry caterpillar, which was made into a few songs by a German artist. Pending on your area you might have a German club you can join. Here are also a few links where you can get your daughter German books, cd's, and movies. You'll be fine, either way!
http://www.alphabet-garten.com/
http://www.buecherstube.com/
http://www.buchwurm.com/www/home/
http://www.abckinderladen.com/
Hi Carrie,
From my experience (non-professional advice), I speak to my daughters in every language I know and my husband speaks to them in English. They are developing an 'ear' for it.
I know of other couples where the partner that doesn't speak the second language takes the challenge and enrolls in some classes that will help bridge the gap.
Perhaps your husband needs to take some language lessons.
English is my mother tounge but I speak to my kids in Spanish, French and Japanese.
Good Luck
Go with your heart. You are blessed with two languagees do not let it go to waiste. As long as you are explaineing each to her she should be great. Share it from the start. And in hopes the your husband would want to learn as well. Good luch and may god bless you and your family. Doris.
Your planning ahead is wonderful! I know families with parents of different nationalities who DIDN'T teach their child the second language! What a waste . .
Anyway, I'd simply speak German with your child(ren) at a specific time (or times); when you're alone with them at home and/or in the car, while shopping, having tea parties. Or if your husband is 'game', at the table while eating. It may even make it fun for your husband to learn along with them. My dad was in Germany in 1944-45 in World War II, and he made friends with some of the people. He learned a little German -- MOSTLY FROM the German children.
I've heard that after age 7, most children lose the ability to make sounds that they've never made before, so: the earlier, the better to start. It'll come naturally, I'm sure, if you're relaxed about it and keep it fun!
I also have a friend who's bilingual in English and Spanish. He told me that he 'thinks in English, but swears in Spanish'. I told him he shouldn't swear at all! LOL I also heard a commedian saying that the languages you learn in high school or college don't do you much good in a stressful situation in the country of that language, because if someone angers you, the worst you can say is the equivalent to, 'Go away you big, bad man!' (That's probably a GOOD thing, tho! Of course it may make it a little more fun for your husband if you teach him some 'dirty words' in the privacy of your bedroom!)
Good luck and God bless!
I don't have any suggestions but a cousin of mine was in the same situation. Her husband was German and she did not speak any German. He spoke to the children (always) in German and she spoke in English. The kids, for a while when they were young the languages were mixed together and you couldn't understand what the kids were saying but as they got older it worked its self out. Just be consistent with what you decide to do.
See if your husband will learn certain words or phrases with her than as fluency is concerned you will be available to build and maintain her vocabulary and proper usage techniques. It can be a family experience and maybe your husband will be able to pick up a healthy amount of vocabulary to help you in teaching her such things without feeling left out. Don't let her lose the fluency at any point which is what happened to me. My mother stopped using German with me when I was about 4 because she stopped using the language. I'll be moving to Germany with my husband in the fall and now I have to learn it all over again. I've also been teaching my nephew Spanish with my limited fluency in the language. His mother is bilingual and his father speaks only English. Since his mother is currently in Iraq, I don't want him to lose any proficiency in the language. He's 2 and does not have a problem distinguishing between the two languages when asked a question in either one.
Hi Carrie,
I have always heard to have a child master two languages, one parent should speak English and the other German until they start to get it. Speak to the from the beginning in that language. Kids are art and they will pick up both languages. Once they have becoe fluent in both languages you can revert to using it sometimes.
I think that the idea of teaching your child a second language can only help them in many areas. If you don't want the two of you to have a "secret language" that excludes your husband, the solution seems pretty simple to me; teach your husband German as well. He could certainly start with the basic, simple words and work his way up to more fluent conversation, learning along with your daughter. I'm not a doctor, but I don't think that there is such a thing as starting too early. Go for it and have fun - all 3 of you!
My husband and I met while we were both studying in Germany in college. I didn't keep up with the language once we got back to the States, and I can't really speak it anymore, but my husband spent more time in Germany and kept up with the language and is fluent, and he has talked to our two sons in German from the day they were born. It helps that I can understand what he says to them, and it doesn't even really register with me that he's not speaking English, so I'm not sure how your husband will feel--maybe teach him some of the basic phrases? Have him take a class if he's willing to learn? Sorry I can't help with that part.
But you should speak to your daughter in German from the day she's born and let your husband speak English. My kids get mostly English since I'm home with them all day, but they absolutely understand everything their dad says to them (they're 3 1/2 and 2 at the moment). They don't talk back to him in German, but they do use random German words instead of English ones from time to time. Both of them were a little slower than their peers in starting to talk which is normal under the circumstances. Our eldest's first words were animal sounds and all the ones that sounded the same in both languages (house, mouse, hand, etc.). It must be kind of tough learning two words for everything and then deciding which one to use!
We buy books and CDs from http://www.alphabet-garten.com/, and I do read the books to them in German when I don't feel like translating--although this site has books that are in both languages too. If you're in the Raleigh-Durham area in NC there's a group called Carolina Kinder that has playgroups, story times, and preschool classes: www.carolinakinder.org. We'll be signing our eldest up for a class in the fall, and I hope that encourages him to speak more German, but either way, what we're doing is a good foundation and should make it much easier for them to do more with the language as they grow older.
Wishing you a speedy and uncomplicated delivery! :)
Let me first identify the voice that is speaking here. I am an ESOL (English to speakers of other languages) teacher and I was a linguistics emphasis in my masters degree.
I love that you are wanting your child to be bilingual! That's fantastic. I wouldn't worry about language delay. Yes, I've read/heard that bilingual children often take a little longer to begin speaking, because they're taking in so much more, but they catch up quickly and often surpass monolingual people both linguistically and cognitively. I believe that the best model, if your goal is that your child will be truly bilingual, is for one parent to speak to the child only in English and the other in L2 (German for you). So actually it's perfect that you're the only one who speaks German. Of course the books/music/other enrichment is fantastic as well. Finally, you may want to look for others in your shoes, maybe some playmates for the future. Friendships are great for developing both motivation and ability. I'm not fully bilingual but I input lots of phrases and plenty of books and music with my son. Children are certainly sponges for learning. Good luck!
Hi Carrie -
Congratulations on the upcoming birth on your daughter!! You are on the right track! Do not worry about confusing your daughter. She will have the advantage of picking up the language earlier. I will try to be brief and if you have any additional questions, please contact me. I am a speech pathologist and I have had experience with bilingual situations. First, I encourage you to read, talk and sing to your child in both languages. I encourage you to teach your husband basic vocabulary words to use with your daughter. I am assuming that your husband is willing. Speak to your daughter in both languages. She will develop the ability to understand both at when she begins talking she will most likely use a combination of english and german to respond. I do not want to overwhelm you at this time with a lot of information, the most important message is to talk with your child in both languages. Sing and read in both languages. Use basic vocabulary in both languages i.e. dog, book, cup, mama, daddy, nana, ball etc. Your daughter will absorb it. If your parents speak German with and around your daughter, the exposure will benefit her. I am not sure if you work, but I have recently found out about German emersion day care in Cary I believe. I wish you all the best.
Amy
Hi Carrie,
While I have not had experience with this directly, I did want to share with you some of the things that I have both read and seen. First of all, I have read (I think in the "What to Expect - The First Year" book) that you should not start teaching a child a second language until she is at least 2 and knows a good bit of English (or her primary language). I 100% agree with that advise because I have seen what happens when you try to teach them too young. A friend of mine is also fluent in German and wanted her daughter to learn the language as well. She read books in German to her daughter and had her daughter watch movies that were in German. Her daughter ended up having to go to speech therapy because learning two languages at once was too much and she was very far behind in her English. Her mom now says that she started too young and said, "I guess I should have thought about that fact that if I am calling a nose two different things, it is very confusing for my child."
Anyways, I hope that helps. Good luck.
Betsy
Teach your husband as well as your child. This may create a stronger bond between you and your husband as well. If he's not interested, leave it at that. But have him understand that you will be teaching German to your children and it would make it easier if he participated and learned some words as well. I think this is a wonderful idea! My gradmother was German, but she didn't teach any of her kids the language, and now regrets it because most of her grandkids (myself included) would've loved to have learned some German. And knowing 2 languages has been shown to improve grades and learning skills. I would start as soon as she is born, and talk to her in German often; your husband may pick up a thing or two along the way.
We have missionary friends who deal with this every day. She is from Brazil, he is from America, and they both speak French and want the children to know all three. What they have done is Mom speaks only Portugease, Dad speaks only English, and on Wednesdays they speak French all together as a family. All four children all speak all four languages with no problems. Good luck with it.
First of all I want to say "good job!" for deciding to teach your child another language. I grew up with two German parents in America and still only speak German with them. When I came home from school wanting to speak English when I was younger, my parents refused to talk to me unless it was in German. I might not have liked it at the time, but I could not be happier that they did this now since I am totally bilingual, and it has helped me so much in life (communicating with relatives, acing college language courses, finding a job, etc.)!
Since I now have two boys of my own, I only speak German with them as well. They are already bilingual in speaking and understanding English and German at 2 and 4 years old! My husband speaks only English with them and with me, but the kids understand both. My husband has also learned a lot by listening to them and me. If he is interested, I figure he can learn the language, too!
Don't listen to people who say you shouldn't start languages until later since then the kids are already more set in their ways and it is hard to change. I have a friend who is half German, but she hasn't started speaking some German with her kids until now and they are fighting it all the way (they are 2 and 5 years old). In Europe, kids start learning languages when they are born since they hear so many different ones on television, with neighbors, on the radio, in school, etc. America is the only place I know of that doesn't start teaching a foreign language until the teenage years when the optimal time for learning is already over. (They say from birth until 7 or 8 is the best time for kids to learn languages).
The more you can expose your child/ren to another language throughout their childhood, the better! Send them to a German school, read German books, watch German videos.....everything will help them to become familiar with the tone and patterns of the language. Not only am I a bilingual mother with a Master in Teaching degree and a minor in German Language and Literature, I teach Special Education during the week and German on Saturdays.
Good luck to you!