My son is currently in preschool and he is the smallest kid and one of the youngest. His birthday is May 8. If I start him in kindergarten next year he will be turning 6 at the end of the year where as most of the other kids will be six earlier in the school year. My worry is that he will feel bad that he wont get to start school with his cousin and good friend who he goes to preschool with. I want my kid to succeed in school and I don't want to have to hold him back in any of the highter grades. What should I do? What have been your experiences? I've also heard that maybe he wont struggle if I teach him to read before he starts.
Also, the cut off here is September 10th. My brother, who now is 21, was also a May kid and my mom was told to hold him back because the teachers said he wasn't ready and that it is typical for that to happen with spring/summer birthdays.
So he will be five years and four months when he starts K. That is perfect IMO. You would hold him back because he is small? He is not young. Maybe he will always be the smallest. Then what? Send him please. Soon we will have kids graduating high school at 20. That is if they do not drop out.
I would go with my heart. If you feel that your son would be better waiting until he is six to start school then I would wait. My daughter turned 5 at the beginning of Kindergarten and has done wonderful. She is one of the youngest in her class but she is very smart. I have heard that boys are a little slower than girls are. The only thing that would concern me would be when he is older he will be one of the "older" kids and sometimes kids will just automatically think that he was held back in previous years.
His birthday is in May not August or September. He is not even close to the cut off date so i promise you he will not be one of the youngest in kindergarten. My son is also small for his age he is 4 and wont be 5 till mid August but i plan on sending him to kindergarten anyways. If he struggles then he struggles and repeats kinder next year but i see no reason to hold him back from even trying, at least for my son that would be like telling him he is gonna fail before he even trys. However i do believe it depends on the child. My son is an extrovert, very outgoing and adapts easily to new social situations so i have no reservations about him struggling socially. Look at your child overall but in your case i would not hold him back simply because of age.
Don't base it solely on his age. Is HE ready? Emotionally, socially, is he mature enough to handle kindergarten in a few months?
Look, there has to be an oldest and a youngest in the class. Your kid may very well be one of the younger ones. But if he's ready, why make him wait another year because of a number?
ETA-
Melissa is totally right. My 3rd grade daughter told me just the other day that some girls were talking about her and her BFF saying they were too tall to be third graders, that they must have been held back. My daughter is tall for her age (8) but her BFF is almost 10 (late birthday - her parents had her start K at 6). It was really upsetting to my daughter!
Rather than going by the ages in his preschool class you should go by the age recommended for K in your district. Here, a child must be 5 by October 31 so most parents don't consider holding their kids back unless they have a September/October birthday (or unless their child is delayed in some way.)
Your son doesn't sound young his preschool class sounds OLD. I have two kids with May birthdays and they are right in the middle when it comes to the ages of most of their friends and classmates (and none of my kids were reading when they started.)
Please make your decision based on your son's abilities and what his teachers recommend, not what his friends and cousin are doing. I'm sure he will be ready to go!
When I was in school, you started school if/when you were either already 5 or would be by Dec. 31...so those with birthdays in Sept - Dec would start when they were 4 turning 5. Some of those would consider holding their kids back but usually didn't. When my son started school, the laws in DE had been changed to 5 by August 30 so kids with Sept - Dec birthdays would start school after they were 5 (almost 6!). We lived in Maryland at that time and they had not changed their cut-off yet so the old rules applied but they did allow the kids with those late birthdays could be held back if the parents felt the need and notified the school.
Now kids are already 5 and 6 when starting K and parents are wondering if they should hold their kids back until they are 6 turning 7...it seems crazy to me. Unless your child has developmental or learning delays, do not hold them back. From how I see it, your son is not on the edge of the cut off...July and August birthdays are.
Does your school do screenings? Our school does, and our son (July birthday and small) was recommended for their "Transitional Kindergarten." I knew he wasn't ready for Kindergarten, so I was ok with this.
He had a great year and is in Kindergarten now and doing great. He did have a classmate in preschool who is now in first grade at the same school. They've known each other since they were babies (we did a Mom/Baby group together, play group, preschool), so they were close. He brings it up every now and then and says it's not fair, but we had to do what was best for him, and waiting that year was what was best for him.
If you can take him to a screening of some kind (and evaluation from an outsider), that might really help you have a better perspective on whether or not he is ready.
I would also ask his preschool teacher. My son's preschool teacher also thought he needed an extra year, so that helped us feel better about the decision.
Good luck!!! This not an easy decision, so do what you can and follow your heart.
Why would you not send him? The cut off is December 1, correct? So how could he be one of the youngest? He's right in the middle.
I disagree with red-shirting. I'm sorry but no one sits in a board room and thinks that guy is not too bright, his mother should have held him back from Kindergarten for another year.
Put him in and let the learning begin.
And last time I checked, size has nothing to do with learning. If he's small now, he'll still be fairly small in a year.
I am an October baby - so I was in Kindergarten at 4. I turned out just fine!! :)
When is the cut-off? Isn't NY's cut-off December?
Being young and small doesn't mean you child won't succeed. I would focus on maturity and academics (kindergarten readiness). I would also ask his preschool teacher. She would be able to tell you how he compares to his peers. My oldest is a young boy (July 21) and is now in 2nd grade holding his own. He is also on the smaller side, but that is just genetics (I am 5' 2" and 100lbs). Holding him back a year wouldn't have made him grow.
If you think he is ready, send him. If he struggles, let him do two years of kindergarten.
Why are you expecting to hold him back? Are there any other factors going on here? Concerns via the preschool? My daughter will not be 5 til August and I'm sending her to K, even though she is just weeks under the cut off for starting school. Friend is going to "red shirt" her son because of concerns about his maturity from the preschool, but he's days off the end date, not a May birthday. You should talk to the school and the preschool. It may be that there's no reason to worry. Why do you think he needs to read before K? Why do you think he will struggle?
A May birthday is just fine. Some kids get sent to school with a September 9th birthday! There will be a kindergarten screening where they will see if your son may need some services when starting school and can make reccomendations to help him be ready for September. Practically no kids know how to read before they start kindergarten. They are not even expected to know their lower case letters either.
In Canada the cut off is December 31st. If a child turns five in that calendar year they start kindergarten in September. If a child struggles they are never held back, they just receive and Adapted Learning Plan or and Individual Education Plan. Our school system feels that it is important for children to be with their peers. Age and size are not good indicators of how a child will do in school, and children that have not had any formal learning before kindergarten tend to catch up to the children who have by the time grade one rolls around. Back when I was a kid we still held kids back, and it was hard for those kids because we all knew that that child was a year older and they never really fit in.
I'm not really sure I understand how this could be a problem. If the cut off is September, he's a good four months ahead of the cut off.
I was an April baby and my daughter was a March baby, and it was never an issue. And I've never even heard a teacher say anything of the such for spring children. If he is 5 when school starts, then at the end of his school career, he will turn 18 in May right before graduation, which is perfect. Are you actually considering waiting a year?
Usually I hear this question with children who are summer babies and closer to the cut-off. My other two children are Aug 28 and Aug 30, so they are right there at the cut-off. I did not hold them back and so they will graduate nearly four months before their 18th birthday, and start college before they turn 18 - yikes!
He's the youngest and smallest in his preschool class, but that doesn't mean he will always be the youngest and smallest. You say nothing about how he is doing socially, emotionally and educationally in preschool, which should be the only thing considered when debating if a child should wait another year before starting kindergarten. What do his current preschool teachers say about his readiness? If size and lateness of his birthday are the only factors here, kids grow. Don't hold him back and make him stay another year with the little kids just because he's small.
FYI-I have a June birthday, with a boy and girl born in April and one due in June. I started kindergarten short as a young 5 and was advanced academically. My kids will all start at 5 unless there is a developmental reason they aren't ready.
I work at my kids' school.
I also have two kids, that started Kindergarten at 4 and then turned 5. And they were fine. They are late born.
I also know kids, who are small. And later born. And they started Kinder at 4 then turning 5. And they are completely, FINE.
I also know kids, who are big/tall/big boned, who started school later, and turned 6 in Kindergarten. They are now in 1st grade or older... they personally, I think they look huge.... tall... much older than their classmates who are of average age. I've noticed that kids who are held back and enter Kinder late and turn 6 in Kinder, they are older looking and taller/bigger. Compared with the rest of the class, I can usually spot them out.
At my kids school, Kinder is for 5 year olds. Public school. And private school it is at 6 years old.
In some schools, if a child enters school at 6 years old, they will put that child in 1st grade.
So you have to see what the school rules are, at the school your kid is going to attend.
Size of a child, does not matter.
Kids who are on the smaller side, have friends and do fine.
Kids who are bigger/taller, have friends and are fine. But they stand out more. Because they are bigger.
My daughter has classmates/friends who are summer born. And they entered Kinder at 4 years old then turned 5. And they are fine.
The cut off here, is in August.
What exactly is your reason, for wanting to hold your son back???
Just his size?
Why are you holding him back?
Boys, do not have to be... held back.
Although they commonly are.
My son is currently in 1st grade. He turned, 6 after the beginning of the school year which was last year July. He is late born. Versus, LOTS of his classmates, are 7 already or turning 7.
So what.
That doesn't mean the 7 year olds are better than the 6 year old 1st graders. My son does fine. And is more mature than some of the 7 year olds.
If your child is academically and socially ready... SEND HIM!!! He may feel bad that he doesn't get to go to school with his cousin and good friend, but he'll get over that it about two minutes when he makes all of his new friends.
May 8th is no where near the cut off of September 10th. If his birthday was September 8th, then maybe you should consider it... but May is four full months prior to the cut off.
For what it's worth, my two girls have birthdays in early May and they're about midway through the class in terms of birthdays. Quite a few kids won't turn six until May, June, July or even August after they finish kindergarten.
You have gotten good advice here. Please have a serious talk with his preschool teachers -- without him around and when you do not have to rush off somewhere else. Talk with them about whether he is truly ready: Does he listen to them and follow their directions? Can he follow directions with multiple parts well? Does he move easily from activity to activity without resisting or melting down? Does he cooperate OK with other kids?
You're not looking for perfection in all these areas, but he does have to be able to do these things most of the time before he begins K. He must listen to adults who are not mom or dad, and he must be able to cope when an adult says, "It's time to put the blocks away now and we're going to go to music class" etc. If he can handle those transitions that's great for K. If he can't or isn't socially ready (puts his hands on other kids a lot, can't control his talking, etc.) then you need to think about whether he's ready. The teachers can help you here. It is better to hold back a kid who isn't ready than to send that kid and end up with a tough K year and being told the child should repeat K to gaiin maturity. That may not be an issue here! But talk it out with the teachers and go observe him in preschool yourself.
He may be totally ready or he may not -- base the decision on that, not on his age and especially not on whether he gets to go to school with one particular kid. That's not a good idea because friendships change, even friendship with a cousin -- these two boys could be best buddies now and fall out with each other in the first week of K! Or they could keep on being buddies but drift apart as they each find new friends. A child does not need best-buddy support to start K; and if he doesn't go to K with his cousin/friend, he really will be fine. If he doesn't go with his cousin and is blue about that, you will have to be the mom and just say, "It's X's time to go and not yours." His own readiness, not his being with his cousin, is the key factor.
My kids are June and July birthdays, so they went thru the entire K year at age 5.
If he's socially mature enough to go send him. Don't base it on physical size!
My kids are the oldest ... I would not change a thing. I thought October, November and December were late Birthdays? If he has a late B-Day , then, I would consider it.
My highschooler confronts issues that we never had to confront--and we have a good school system! The difficulties did not kick in w/ other kids (and mine) until 5th grade when the kids got tougher, clicks, the work load became more demanding...
Keep in mind that Kindergarten is now like 1st grade. In K around here---The kids are in reading groups, do math, etc...
Yes--Reading is huge, but, he has to be ready to read. Some kids are and some kids take more time.
Talk w/ the preschool teachers for advice. I did not listen to them. I had my kids start later.
What my highschooler does in school---I did in college. The work is harder. Kids have to hold their own socially and emotionally these days.
Ask the teachers...and see what they say. Just know that school is more demanding now.
Ask to sit in on Kindergarten this time of the year. See how it has changed from yrs ago. You know your child best.