I'll be 33 weeks this week, and as the day gets closer I have more and more people ask me if I'm going to do it natural . To me, I don't understand the big deal. Does a natural childbirth make you more of a woman or something ? I always reply that when the time comes if it hurts more than I can bear I'm getting pain meds, and I don't think it's a big deal at all but it seems many people do ? I even watched a show on maternity ward where this girls mother was so pissed that she got an epidural that she left the room because the mother wanted her to have a natural birth. I mean it's still natural, right ? The baby's still coming out how its supposed to regardless of if you feel all the pain right ? I know there are risks with the epidural and all, but I guess I just don't get it.
I had a friend who asked me if I felt like I missed out on something by getting an epidural. I said "yeah, a lot of pain."
Right on, girl!! :) Congrtatulations on your pregnancy!! Have an epidural...they're great!! My epi wore off when it came time to push with my first and with my second it lasted, and my second delivery was so awesome, I was ready to deliver another if I could, lol!
There is one thing in common with all mothers, regardless how you give birth. You go home with a baby. I don't get the whole "I must be natural" thing, but whatever works for others......well, they are welcome to it. Don't try to reason it out. Everyone is entitled to their own birth "experience".
You do what you want. Giving birth is not a contest..
I was willing to try natural with the agreement that if I changed my mind, I wanted the option for any and all meds available!.. LOL
I figured no one ever died from the pain of childbirth so I just wanted to see what it would be like..
It turned out that I was able to handle the discomfort. After it was over I turned to my husband and said, "Wow, I forgot to ask for anything." He responded "I know, I kept thinking you would ask at any moment!" The nurse asked "have you always had terrible cramps". I told her "yes, since I was 12".. She said , "that is why you were able to get through it".. Don't get me wrong. I lost my breath a few times from the pain, but my husband would distract me and get me back on track.
Our daughter was (3 weeks early) and so alert, when they placed her on my stomach, they asked "what is her name?" When I said her name, she pushed her legs and LIFTED and TURNED her head to look at me! She was alert form the moment she was born. I do not know if going without meds was one of the reasons, but I felt very accomplished.
I think it's "earthy" mothers who are in all walks of life medication free. It's not just the birthing process. I'm certain there's a lot of pain involved, but afterwards, there's no numbness. They can get up and walk around freely if they need, rather than lay in bed. I had to have 2 c-sections. However, I would've gotten the epidural, for sure :)
The issue with "drugged birth" is that you are giving your baby a high dose of drugs. Women go through their whole pregnancy being careful of drugs and alcohol and then that goes out the window on the day of the birth. We know epidural drugs cross the placenta and can cause problems. Check out this article from www.mothering.com
http://www.mothering.com/pregnancy-birth/epidural-epidemic
I used hypnobirthing for both of my births and found that labor was not painful as you see on tv and movies. The more painful you think it will be, the worse it will be. Having said that, I have never experienced back labor, as I hear it can be unbearable.
Good luck in whatever you choose to do!
I always planned to have an epidural. I'm just not into pain. A toothache is perfectly natural, but who would get a cavity filled without the Novocaine? My labor was 36 hours long. I was home with gradually stronger and stronger contractions from 5am and didn't go to the hospital till 7pm. It was 9pm before I got the epidural and I was almost in tears at that point and I was already exhausted. After the epidural, I actually got some sleep, and it was a good thing. It took a long time for me to fully dilate, and I had my son vaginally at 5pm the next day with only 1.5 hrs of pushing. 9 lb 1.5 oz with a lusty cry! If I hadn't been able to rest, I never would have had the strength to push and I would have ended up having a C-section. I've never had any back problems from the epidural. It went as flawlessly as anyone could hope for. A wonderful experience! The medicine never affected my baby. He had the highest APGAR score possible.
I got that question a lot when I was pregnant too. Honestly, I always planned on giving it a try but would NOT give up the option for pain meds. My typical reply to the ones suggesting it was not needed was; "Would you try to get a tooth pulled without any medication?" It can be done - you won't die from the pain, right?"
I will admit however, I did NOT get any pain relief for either of my two deliveries - not because I did not want it - cause boy, did I - I just delivered too fast. After the first my husband said, "now you know you can do it without pain meds"...my reply was "no, now I know how much I don't want to do it WITHOUTH them!"...Unfortunately the 2nd came even faster than the 1st - 30 minutes after arriving to the hospital...oh well.
In the end whatever your decision, if you even get to decide, will be the right one for you. Best of luck.
Just do what is right for you... not what the trendiness is.
If you want meds, have meds.
If you don't want it, then don't.
And you will never know how your birth will be, until that moment.
Don't do what others tell you to do, it is your birth, your moment, your body....
I was going to have a natural birth with my first child, then I had complications, then I had to have an emergency c-section. I had an Epidural.No biggie. I loved it!
Then my 2nd pregnancy, was a planned c-section. I did not want to do a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section). No biggie.
Do what you want, not what others will think of you or tell you to do.
All the best,
Susan
I loved my epidural. :)
In my birthing classes, our teacher told us to do whatever would make the whole experience comfortable and better for us. She said "Everyone gets the same prize at the end, whether you do natural or not." (Surprisingly she always did natural with hers.) I just figured I'd go into it with an open mind.
My son came early and I wasn't dilated or effaced or even having contractions yet. But my water had been broken for 12 hours and they needed to speed things along and prepare for a c-section just in case. They ended up needing to give me tons of pitocin, and it was still down to the line on getting him out. They told me they HIGHLY recommended I get an epidural immediately because the pitocin was going to make the contractions really intense. The few that I felt while waiting to get it made it a pretty easy decision, and I had a perfect epidural that let me still feel things but not feel any pain. I was perfectly happy with how everything turned out, and don't regret missing out on my "natural childbirth medal" at all. Everyone has to do what makes them comfortable and happy. My son was healthy and we had no complications, that was what mattered to me.
Oh PS- my mom did her deliveries natural as was the norm then. She is a tough cookie and is usually the one to tell us that it is only as bad as we make it and you can do anything, that type of thing. Not "suck it up" but almost, just nicer. After being in both my sister's and mine's delivery rooms, she was like "Wow, those things are amazing! Why would anyone want to go through pain if you don't have to? You guys are so lucky these days" :)
Well, some of us are more afraid of huge needles in our spine than the pain of childbirth and opt to go unmedicated...(Like me. Twice!)
Honestly, I think people are just looking to make conversation with you. Like when you get asked if you know what you're having yet. (Yeah, a baby!) Or if you're going to breastfeed. (As long as people are going to touch your belly without asking, they may as well inquire about your boobs too, right?)
I agree though that it's "natural" if the baby's coming out vaginally. I think people confuse the words natural and unmedicated.
In defense of all the people that ask you though, there's only a 75% chance you'll get to have that baby vaginally anyway since the csection rate is about 25% nationally and even higher in some places. I live in south FL and Miami has about 30% or higher csection rate. So it wouldn't seem like such an odd question down here.
Years ago (my mother's generation), women were told in every childbirth class that epiderals were bad. They also told women they should avoid c-sections at all cost. It was implied that you were being a bad mother by getting one. Nurses at the hospital would even try to talk mothers out of it when they asked for one during labor. I guess that thinking was pretty ingrained in our moms. Poor ladies!!
When you get to the hospital, your Anesthesiologist will discuss the risks and benefits with you. If you still want the epi after you know all the risks/benefolots, then go for it. In my opinion, they rock. Like my OB told me, "no matter what, you won't get a medal at the end".
I went into my first delivery with the option to get meds, if I needed them. My labor progressed fast, so by the time I was ready for meds it was to late.
The only "big deal" is that the drugs get in to the babies system. Just look in to the risks/benefits before actually going in to the hospital so you can have an educated decision. Remember this is YOUR child, you do what YOU feel is right, who cares what everyone else thinks!
I went into it with the desire to go without meds (why complicate and medicate if you can go without?) but expressly telling my doc and husband, that if I changed my mind and the stress/pain was more than I could handle, I wanted drugs. My doctor noted my chart just that way... that I was going to "try" no meds, with the options still on the table.
Well, by the time things were to the point that I didn't want to deal anymore... the "I can't bear this any more" stage... (which is the shortest stage of all and goes really fast right at the end) it was too late to administer an epi. I suspect my doc knew this might be my situation... but I also think he had a "feel" for my personality and whether I would handle it okay. (Which I did, and in retrospect I am glad I had no medicine!) I have a rather high tolerance for pain... and I'm sure my doctor figured that out when I had been in his office having non-stress tests (and having contractions during the test that dilated me up to 2cm or 3cm a week ahead of delivery) and the nurses asked me "do you feel that?" and I said "feel what?" They told me I was having contractions.. and I had to see them on the display thing to know it.
Anyway. I went into pregnancy #2 with the same attitude. Same thing happened. And I was very happy with the way it went. The really bad pain only lasted a couple of minutes, then it was time to push and she was out in 2 pushes. I would have spent 15 minutes of agony (bent with my back humped over getting a needle stuck in my spine not being able to move when I needed to be taking deep breaths- plus the risks of the actual procedure itself) to avoid about 5 minutes of terrible but yet manageable pain.
The thing is, in my opinion, to educate yourself (and your partner) on ALL your options and potential scenarios. If you haven't taken a childbirth class yet, do it. Find one that doesn't focus solely on "natural" childbirth, but also gives you a lot of information on the different medications you might be offered or may ask for, and what to expect not just in a "normal" delivery, but in one that gets complicated. ANY birth could end up in a C-section if there are complications. And you need to know what to expect if that happens. Did you know that you may be given an oxygen mask to wear? Did you know that before you can get the epidural, you must take in (via IV) a full bag of fluid first? Did you know that you can have a "spinal headache" for several days AFTER the epidural sometimes? (just happens to some people... not b/c of error on the anesthesiologists part). Did you know that some women have side reactions to some of the medication options (itching all over being one)?
There is a lot of information out there. Do your research on all the side effects and potentialities. You may not need any of it. Or you may wish you knew ALL of it. Knowledge is power.
Don't stress over your method of delivery. Do your research and go from there.
Congrats on your pending birth!
P.S.
After reading some of the other responses, I realized something else that I am grateful for in having not had meds and interventions... the extra people in the room. 95% of my labor and delivery.. was just me and my husband in the room. Yes, a nurse would come in periodically and check on me and yes my doc did too. And near the end he stayed in the room and filled out part of the birth certificate... haha. Until the pushing stage, it was pretty much me and hubby. But I am a private person, and would have freaked to have had a room full of "extras" in there. Whew... hadn't really even thought about THAT aspect!
Hi Stephanie,
I hate the emphasis that women put on NATURAL childbirth. My last one was without drugs, because I didn't get to the hospital in time! Believe me, I wanted that epidural! I am planning on doing my next one at home, but as the time comes close, I feel a little fear creeping in. When people ask me about it, I just smile and say that I have a plan, but I am keeping my options open. I do what works for me! You're not more of a woman if you do it without drugs. There are a million factors that come into play, like your personal pain tolerance, whether you have adequate support, fatigue level, hydration level, blah blah....the list goes on and on. So just do what works for you. I didn't feel any different after the birth of my last baby that I did after my other ones. Make a plan, but keep your options open. I refuse to be made to feel like I'm less or more of a woman based on how I give birth! People do the same thing with the whole breastfeeding issue, and it's really aggravating! You should just tell people you're planning on giving birth in a tree with monkeys...Lol.
For some people it does seem to be some kind of competition, and they seem to think they're more of a woman for giving birth naturally. Not for me! To be honest epidurals skeeze me out a bit, so for my first I was going to stick with an IV drip of narcotics and no epi until the back labor started (never planned to go completely natural)! The epi stopped it, but didn't deaden anything else. For my second, I had a WONDERFUL epidural that made the entire experience near blissful! I'm sure you've heard this, but do all of these women who act like you're a lesser person for having drugs or an epi get all of their dental work done with no medication? Do they have surgery without anesthesia? NO. I don't get it either. Many will tell you your baby and you will feel doped up and foggy, but both of my babies scored 9s on their APGARs and I didn't feel any more groggy than anyone else who had been in pain, pushed, rolled around and thrashed for hours!
I'm someone who has had one epidural (my son with IUGR needed to be induced) and all my rest unmedicated, and two homebirths----
The difference between natural and medicated for the laboring woman? With an epidural, all the pain is after birth. You may go through part of your labor pain-free, but once that epidural wears off at the end then suddenly e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g HURTS. A lot.
When you have unmedicated childbirth, it's your labor that hurts, and once that baby comes out you are so gosh darn happy and thrilled to have them OUT that the pain of recovery feels like mosquito bite.
In other words, it is going to hurt, whether you get an epidural or not. Natural childbirth significantly alters the perception of the pain you have during your recovery period, but you pay for it in doing labor unmedicated, lol. Having the epidural will spare you that pain but it really does make the recovery period feel worse. So, pick your poison, IMHO.
So, between the drugs that make it to and through the baby's system, the fact that epidurals put you at higher risk of additional interventions and c-sections, plus the fact that the risk for fetal distress is much higher with an epidural (part of the reason the c-section rate is higher), I'd rather skip on the epidural and on induction and deal with labor. When I had a medically indicated reason for needing both, I did it without guilt or regret. And my natural childbirths have ranged from gentle, peaceful, virtually pain free ones to the absolute horrors of back labor and shoulder dystocia that I would never wish on the world's most evil human being. It's not about a "childbirth medal" or feeling like I am somehow great or special......it's simply about my personal comfort level with various risks and my personal desire (after have two births to compare the difference) to rather deal with the pain and perception of pain on the front end rather than the recovery end.
Your body, your baby, your birth. :) Births are like snowflakes--- each are unique and individual and no one can make a judgment on what makes for a desired birth and an undesired birth experience except for you. My personal birth experiences have given me some very strong opinions on the subject, but they're all mine and I would never judge another woman's desires for her birth based on mine.
Ahhh...The cult of motherhood.
Hate Hate Hate the ubiquitous use of "natural" because it infers that my two beautiful boys are "unnatural". I have very good, very caring, very open minded friends who when it comes to the subject of childbirth can get downright cave-woman about it. That the more pain, the more tearing, the longer the labor...The higher the mother's status is in the tribe.
I just smile and re-direct by saying something like, "Oh - I remember the day Betsy was born too. She was just the tiniest, sweetest thing ever. You are so lucky." Because in the end (IMO) the baby is the blessing...Not its mode of delivery.