A couple of weeks ago when the weather was some what good, my daughter was playing on the playground with her friends,when her cousin approached her and pushed her down on her belly and started jumping on her back. Then three of his friends joined in on beating her up literally. One of her friends had to run and get a teacher because they didn't see anything they said but by the time the teacher got over there my daughter was standing up and defending herself or at least trying to. I got a pink slip saying that my daughter was fighting on the playground and that she was not aloud on the play ground the following week. I was upset and grounded her at home to thinking she really did do what they said. But my daughter just started crying and said look at my hair mommy and I looked at it there was sand and mud in her hair where they had thrown sand clumps on her head. I asked her what happened and not to lie to me and thats when she told me the story of what really happened.
I can understand her getting in trouble if someone pushed her and she hit them but 4 boys that she couldn't even get away from long enough to get the teacher yea she had a right to defend herself. I asked her cousin that hit her and the friend that told the teacher what was going on, what really happened and her cousin said that he was just playing around when he jumped on her back, and her friend said that she was building sand castles when they came over pushing her and hitting her. Well I have addressed the school many times so they can explain why she got in the same amount of trouble as the boys that hit her. They never called. Then I got mad and went up to the school and the secretary said there was no one there to talk to. Is it just me or does any of this sound right?
That is how school is. It only gets worse with the bullying the older they get. I formerly home schooled and decided to put mine back in this year, needless to say tomorrow will be their last day. I am bringing them right back home! Good Luck to you! If homeschooling is an option for you send me a personal message and I will discuss it with you. Even if you work and you have a family member that can keep your little girl during the day, you can do the work when you are home. There are also many activities for home schoolers.
Well maybe it's time for a letter to the principal & cc the superintendent. This is just insane. I don't know that I agree that your daughter should've been punished at all, but then I guess all the kids would claim self-defense & beat up on kids, crazy world we live in huh? Seems to me she was justified in what she did, especially if there are witnesses that saw what really happened. I agree that all parties should've been punished and I'm sorry but they should be punished more severely seeing as how they ganged up on her like that.
I would also have a talk with this cousin, family should look out for one another, even if they aren't siblings! I hope she's doing better.
I understand how she got in trouble since the teachers only saw the latter of the fight BUT that is very disturbing that there is no one for you to talk to about this! I would be irate if that happened to my daughter and no one at the school addressed my concerns. How big is the playground anyway that the teachers on duty didnt see this? Keep us posted.
Melanie... I send my heart felt understanding of what you are going through.. I emphatize.. I know that there is someone you can contact such as the principal, that is what they are there for, in a sense. I am glad that your child came forth and trusted you enough to tell you exactly what went on. She's a brave little girl... Parents have rights.. I feel, the school(some of them...) don't want us to use our rights.. You are your child advocate.. Stand up for your child.. Do what you feel that is best for child.. You are in my prayers..
You've gotten good advice already. Don't let the school shut you out on this matter. Sounds like a lot of negligence -- teachers weren't watching the students in the first place for this to happen (what if she'd been seriously injured?), not calling you back & having no one there to talk to is inexcusable. Call and set an appointment with the principal. (Remember to stay calm when you actually talk to him/her.) If this doesn't get resolved to your satisfaction, go to the superintendent, but if it's still not resolved, pull her out -- it's not safe. Look into private or homeschool options, but 4 boys beating up one girl with no teacher in sight is not something that can be allowed to happen. By the way, lots of single moms find ways to homeschool or do private school. A bright girl like yours would learn easily in any setting (where she's not being attacked). And the advice to talk to the cousin's family is right on target, too.
If the teacher won't talk to you, and the principal won't talk to you, either camp out in the school office and refuse to leave until they talk to you or go to the school board.
Have them call in the kids who went and got the teacher and ask them - separately - what happened. If they all tell the same story, then you have multiple eyewitnesses that your daughter was ganged up on, and was defending herself.
EBR has a zero tolerance policy for fighting, but zero tolerance should not mean that your child has to simply lie there and take it when several kids are beating up on her.
As for ehr cousin "playing around" when he jumped on her back - he's old enough to understand that you don't play that way. I assume that you've been in touch with his parents.
I don't know what school your daughter goes to but my sister had an incident at her daughters school and she joined the PTO and went to the meeting and brought up the incident infront of the whole meeting because she couldn't get an answer from the school. This may work for you. If not go to the school board. I will tell you from a personal experience when I was a kid I got hit in the eye on the walk home from school one day. A police officer saw the whole thing and brought me & the boy who did it to our parents. It was then reported to the school. I clawed the boy back. I am the one who was made to stay after school everyday for a week while the boy who blackened my eye got to go home first. The principals explanation for that was that I was older so I should be the one to stay later.
One other thing you may want to consider is to get the news media involved. Some one has an answer for this and this is not fair how your daughter was treated. I hope the Cousin's parents punished him for beating her up!
I have 4 kids, and have been to school on numerous accounts. Make an appointment with the principal and head of the board of education, if possible at the same time. If you wrote a letter, send a copy to the board of education. If you have to, go to state board of education. And finally if noone will give you the time of day, file a complaint with department of human resourses. By law they are required to check into any child endangerment case and you would not believe how the principal and board of education will hate this. And it sounds like consulting a lawyer might be in order. You may have a civil case. Good luck and fight this out, your child is worth it. If the bullies get away with this, they will mark her as their target, for her sake see this thru.
I would be there until they let me talk to someone or I would go straight to the superintendent. If he/she doesn't want to deal with it then go to the school board. I had a teacher in school that was abusive towards me and only me. My parents had to take it to the school board and threaten to go to the state. That got their attention and it was taken care of immediately.
you need to go to the school board about this!! i know they have new "rules" now in school that if you hit someone even if it is in selfdefence then you also get in trouble, but those boys should have been in alot more trouble then your daughter.
keep calling the school an keep going up there till your questions are answered. As a parents of 5 kids that would never fly with me. sounds like your daughter got the raw end of the deal. ask to speak with the principle or asst.principle or ask to speak with the teacher that wrote the pink slip and ask her how she can justify the pink slip. sorry it happened.
Hi Melanie, you know, I hate to say this, but it does sound right. With the "no tolerance" rule, crazy things happen in the discipline area of children and school. The punishments don't fit the crimes most times but "no tolerance" is a federal law and there's not much a school can do to get around it. Of course, they could, if they wanted, lessen the punishment but it sounds like you're dealing with a school that doesn't want to deal with you. Unfortunately, there's a WHOLE BUNCH of those out there! All I can tell you is to keep being persistent and pay close attention to what's going on. Visit the school when you can to keep an eye on things and keep calling, writing and trying to see someone in charge. I remember once our school told us there was no one there for me to talk to. I responded "That's fine. I can wait." I sat down right there in the office intending to sit all day if I had to and not 15 minutes later, they had found someone for me to talk to! Amazing, huh? You just have to be vigilant. Good luck to you!
no, it's not right. DEMAND to speak to a school administrator. If you have no luck, show up at the school board with your child and her defense team of what took place. Someone there will have no choice but to listen.
Best of Luck, I hope you get this resolved peacefully.
Request an appointment with your daughter's teacher, the principal & the school counselor as soon as possible. While you cannot change what happens to other children, you have every right to express your concerns. If the principal, the teacher & the counselor refuse to cooperate, your next step is to go to the school board. Hopefully, this will not happen. It is best to go in and speak calmly. It would also be a good idea to write down notes to take with you so that you do not forget anything that you wish to bring up.
In the school system's today I know she would get into trouble, but the boys should have not only gotten into more trouble, they should have some serious letters sent home to their parents and perhaps even parent-teacher conferences. And the not allowed on the playground for a week seems kind of harsh. But the awful thing is, there is NO reason that they should EVER tell you, a mother of a child attending, that there is no one there to talk to. That is NOT ALRIGHT! I would keep going down there and if they continue to blow off, I would start looking at different schools. I would be beyond furious. If I have my child enrolled in there there should ALWAYS be someone to talk to me about my cares and concerns no matter what happens to be on my mind. GRRRR! That makes me angry. Heh. Good luck and don't give in! Schools can be awful social environments and the parents may never know. If this is how the elementary school is, just imagine how it will be when she gets older. I was treated horribly in school and have made a vow to be very very selective when it comes to choosing what school my children will attend. I am not saying pull her out of school and take her away from all her friends if she doesn't want to go, but if the school avoids talking to a parent it has to be addressed. And maybe when it comes to middle schools you could just switch systems. It would make the transition somewhat easier for her. While it would be hard, at least she would be in a safer environment where the school associates communicate with the parents. >.<
Oh I would be calling and going to that school everyday until someone talked to me. There should be no reason that somebody with some authority is not available to help you. And I don't think she should have gotten in trouble at all she was defending herself. Just keep after them.
I would definitly take this matter to the school board. They will listen to you and hopefully do something about this. It sounds like the teachers need to be more attentive on the playground also. It is an awful thing in society that we tell our boys that it is okay to hit a girl. Hope this helps. Laura
This some what happened to my son years ago. Call the school and demand a meeting with the principal with the other kids involved. once the facts came out I demanded and received an apology for him from the school and wanted this removed from his school record which we did receive. But keep in mind it isn't always what we think not to saying any of the kids are not telling the truth but they each have there own perspective.
good luck
The boy that started it was her cousin...right. Well, I would go talk to his parents. That would be you or your husband's brother or sister and ask them to please talk to thier son about this issue.