Toddler uses Bottle for comfort & won't give it up

My 22 month old DD is addicted to her bottle. Whenever she is nervous or upset, she demands it even if she had one 2 mins before and we know she is not hungry or thirsty. If we don't give it to her- she throws a fit of screaming that is literally out of control. My pedia saw it first hand today and even was a bit shocked at the level and length of her fits. Doc even said she doesn't recommend going cold turkey b/c she thinks it would be too traumatic for her. She is a very sensitive child. I am at my wits end....I don't think there is anything inherently wrong or harmful if she still drinks from a bottle; however I know that she doesn't even want the milk 3 out of 5 times- it's just a crutch for her. She has recently become very shy in social situations, around other kids or even just being out in public and if I don't have 6 bottles with me at every outing, we'd never be able to go anywhere and I can't keep doing that. We've tried giving her milk in a sippy but she throws it down and the tantrum starts and doesn't stop til we give in. We've tried putting just water in the sippy, same thing. Another problem stemming from this is that she is not a good eater so drinking so many bottles is making her not eating enough worse. Anyone have any suggestions on a gentle way of weaning her? I don't want to traumatize her as she already has a lot of stress from DH going back to work FT and starting daycare too. THANKS!!!

You say you don't want to quit cold turkey, but have you tried? I threw all the bottles out the day my kids turned one... they might have been mad for a few days, but guess what... not one of them have permanent issues because of that, and not one of them remember it. Be the parent; be in charge. Toss them ALL, tell her sorry, no more bottles, she's a big girl, and ignore any negative behavior after that. She's perfectly capable of using a sippy cup. She'll get over it, I promise!

I am sorry this is so tough for all of you. I really don't have the advice you want. I have done daycare for 14 years and have a 17 year old of my own and another 8 years as a Nanny for Physician parents. Cold turkey is what has proven to be the best for all of my charges over all of these years, even with my own very sensitive child.

I wish you luck...and calm!

The tantrum continues because you reward her bad behavior by giving in. At some point you will need to determine that now is the time she must release the bottle. Life is full of disappointment and we often don't get out way but we learn how to handle and deal with it gracefully. This is where it begins. You may determine to do a gradual method or cold turkey doesn't really matter as long as you are consistent and diligent and loving with your little one. Her behavior shouldn't dictate getting the bottle back. Perhaps for her second birthday it will be time to give up the bottle. Get ready for the fight of a life time but you are doing what is best for her and that whole bottle thing isn't best for her in the long run.

I'd start adding a little bit of grapefruit juice to her bottle. She'll notice something is a little off at first but not enough to want to give it up. Keep adding more and more till she can't stand them but always give her a nice sippy cup that is exactly what she wants to see if she'll give up the bottle. Another thing you could try, this is what my SIL did, was she cut the nipple holes bigger so she'd get drowned by the milk coming out, her daughter soon realized she hated how fast the milk came out and actually went to using a straw with a cup before going to a sippy cup.

Wow. I'm sorry to hear you are going through all this. My 19-month-old also struggled with giving up the bottle. My pediatrician said that thirst is a great motivator so when the only option was a sippy she finally caught on. And yes, I still even hear the occassional "no" when she is presented with a sippy but she eventually takes it.

If you decide to go cold turkey I would stay consistent. There will definitely be tantrums but perhaps she can find other sources of comfort.

Good luick.

YOu could try all sorts of "Tricks"...water only in her bottle...or put something nasty tasting yet, harmless in the bottle or on the nipple to make it less desirable. But I think the best method is simply cold turkey...my two youngest daughters used bottles for a while after they were weaned from the breast at about 18 months...I should have gone from the breast to a sippy cup but...hind sight is always 20/20 isnt' it? We went cold turkey with both of them...the bottle "got left behind at Grandma's"...and there simply were no more. There was a night or two of crying and sniffling at bedtime but it soon gave way to cheerful bedtimes and no more desire for a bottle at all.
Talk up the big girl cup...let her go to the store with you and pick which sippy cup she wants for her very own...start a reward calendar with stickers for going without her bottle...build her up to the idea and then just simply pick a day and go with it. It isn't going to be easy..but she WILL survive...and so will you!!

We gently weened our daughter from the bottle around 20 months of age by using the following method:
1. We put whole milk in a sippy cup. We put 6 oz whole milk and 2 oz water in a bottle. We offered them both to her at the same time and held no judgment over which one she chose.

2. Every 2 days or so, we diluted the bottle down further but kept the whole milk in the sippy cup. So for example, the next step was 4 oz whole milk/4 oz water in the bottle. Again, we offered both to her at the same time w/o judgement on her choice.
3. By the time the bottle was 2 oz milk/ 6 oz water (about a week), she chose the sippy cup of whole milk every time. She slowly forgot about the bottle, no tears ever, b/c it simply didn't satisfy her anymore. We never took the bottle away from her. She just quit choosing to have it.

4. BTW, we bought special sippy cups she had never used before (for us, we chose sippies that were a lot like bottles at first, then transitioned to various types of sippies later on).

5. Once she fully and comfortably transitioned to milk in a sippy cup, we started telling her that if she wanted milk, she had to drink it at bedtime snack b/c we brushed our teeth after that, and there would be no more milk after teeth brushing. We offered her a sippy of water if she was thirsty after teeth brushing.

6. A toddler only needs about 2 sippy cups of milk per day to meet their needs and allow them to be hungry enough to eat well also. If she really just wanted a liquid, we offered her a smoothie instead of milk all the time. We make a batch of smoothies and store the remainder in ice cube trays to pop out and use when she needs a smoothie.

Good luck!

PS. I just read through all the answers below. I remember when I was thinking of how to ween my daughter from the bottle, and going cold turkey just felt so mean (for us). It did NOT have to be a battle. It could be her choice, and I am happy to say that it was. It can be positive. Just be consistent and remember that you are doing what she needs. At some point, enough is enough, and you know when that point has arrived....having to take 6 bottles is that point. It's here. You can do it!

my son drank from a bottle until he was 2. it was an important comfort for him. we weaned him from it by changing him to the nuby cups with the soft mouthpiece, not the bottle nipple style though. we stuck with those for about a year and then switched to straw cups. at the table we use cups with no lids. good luck!

I say cold turkey all the way. She will be upset...no doubt about it, but I cannot see how this could be too traumatic, she is only 22 months old. She will not remember this and I personally think cold turkey is the best way. I believe it's best to try and wean them from a bottle around a year because the longer you wait the harder it gets for the child.

When my daughter was about 12-15 months and I got tired of bottles...cleaning them, etc...I tried a sippy and she just could understand that she had to tip the cup in order to get anything out of it so I started her on straw cups. She instantly got how to suck from a straw.

I wish you luck and a lot of patience because that is what you will need, but if you follow through and deal with the tantrums for a few days you will see that it was worth it in the end of it all.

I would just put water only in them. If she doesn't want to drink the water, fine. She has her bottle, right? You could simultaneously begin offering her an Additional item to begin substituting for her "crutch". Don't deny the bottle, (just fill it with water) and also give her a lovey of some sort-- a stuffed animal that is portable sized. Then begin slowly transitioning at home. How? Just let it take a little longer to get around to giving her the bottle, and letting the stuffed animal always be handily available. Maybe give her the stuffed animal immediately, letting her know that "I'll get you a bottle in just a moment"....
Over time, she will likely begin to associate the lovey with those anticipatory feelings of comfort.. and eventually will be comforted somewhat upon receiving the lovey. Then you can begin working on longer delays for the bottle, until eventually you can "forget" to give it to her.

?

hth

FWIW, at our house, by that age, our kids were able to open the refrigerator and take out their sippy all by themselves. And they did. And it was fine with me. I kept a sippy in the fridge full of milk. When they were done with it, they also had to go put it BACK in the fridge. ;) Sort of "feeding on demand" for toddlers, lol, with the added benefit of teaching them some self-reliability and responsibility.

Kind of what KansasMom said, but for us it was the binky. My son was 2 & the average size of a 4 year old by the time we (meaning ME) had finally had enough of it. When he lost the one he had I just never replaced it. We had a few tearful nights, but he survived. He is not scarred from it & he's also a sensitive boy with absolute deep feelings. Be the adult, don't give in. It'll suck for a few days, no doubt about it, but you can do it. This is a very good test for both your daughter & you of things less-than-good for her that she'll want, you'll say no, she'll throw a tantrum. Better to get it out of the way now so she understands that she is not the boss of the house because YOU are, than when she's 15 years old & wants to _____ (fill in the blank with anything from belly button piercing to dating a 25 year old to 8,000 tattoos, to never listening to a word you say or respecting you, whatever).

Maybe its the type of sippy cup. If she's soothed by the softness, chewiness of the bottle nipple, try a cup that has the same type of spout.
http://www.amazon.com/Nuby-Spill-Sipper-Colors-Ounce/dp/B0001NE9F8/ref=pd_sim_ba6

The spout is soft silicone so it may give her the same soothing comfort as the bottle.

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My guy gave up his bottle and his paci cold turkey the same day at 13 months. It wasn't planned that way, we were doing the bottle and couldn't find the paci at bedtime. (His pediatrician advised cold turkey on the bottle, BTW, and she is a very laid-back don't traumatize type person.) He cried a bit that first night, had a rough time going to sleep but did, asked for it over the next 2 days (he missed the paci more than the bottle) and by day 3 we were done with both.

There is so much drama nowadays over "traumatizing" toddlers, but seriously, children of all ages (particularly when younger) are very adaptable to change, so it seems more fair to go cold turkey than not. (PM me if you want to talk about a child being traumatized, those who know my story know what i'm talking about.) Gentle weaning at her age will go on forever, and, sorry, your giving in to her tantrums is just teaching her that bad behavior has it's rewards.

Be consistent in whatever you decide to do, being a mom is tough sometimes!

I'd say only water goes in the bottles, immediately. If she has too big of a reaction to that, then dilute the milk in the bottle gradually over a few days until its 100% water. I bet once you get to 100% water in the bottles 100% of the time, she will lose interest.

Poor little thing - our first born was extra sensitive too and he also just loved his bottle for comfort. I can't remember exactly his age - maybe 2 or 2 and a half? We talked a LOT beforehand how when you get to be a certain age you are too old for bottles. At a doctor appointment our doctor (who is a good friend) also told him. We told him how all the bottles have to go to a baby who needs them. On the big day we put them all in a bag (he helped) and we really delivered them to a friend who had a baby. Then we went and bought him some brand new soft spout sippy cups and a new big boy toy. He was all excited and all for it until the next time he wanted his bottle! Then he was quite sad and upset...but I remember it only took about 5 days and then he was over bottles. He was way less traumatized than I thought he would be. We are actually going through this right now. Our daughter who is about to turn 2 just gave up her bottles. She is having a bit of a hard time going to sleep at night, but besides that she seems to have forgotten about them. It has been a week. She is not as sensitive as her brother was though. I have a good friend whose daughter still likes her bottle sometimes (only at home) and she is age 5! They just can't bring themselves to take it away when she really really wants it. You know, a soft spout sippy cup is pretty much the exact same thing as a bottle...I don't see the big deal. People worry about cavities so I do like the other people's suggestion of slowly diluting her milk in the bottle so that it eventually is just a bottle of water. I wish you luck. It is so hard to have a sensitive child who really seems to need that comfort. But I advise just going cold turkey at some point - maybe in a few months? It is hard for a few days and then it is done. You don't have this long drawn out event.

To get rid of pacifiers a lot of people begin cutting the tip of the nipples off. Little by little every day.. Then when it is useless, they have the children throw the rest away.

Maybe you need to start losing so many of the bottles.. Then start snipping the tips off of all of the nipples. Have your child throw

The other thing is tantrums are not to be tolerated. Ever. No matter the reason. When I daughter threw a fit. We ignored her by stepping away from her or over her and going into another room.

If we were out in public, I scooped her up and left with her. I placed her in her car seat and then drove home. When she calmed down I told her I was "not happy that I was not able to by groceries because she had thrown the fit." I also told her I was never going to take her to run errands again if she acted like that again. Each time we were preparing to go somewhere. I explained the behaviors that were expected and I promised, we would leave if she threw a fit.

We were like Rachel D. We gave her the heads up that when babies turn 1. They do not have baby bottles anymore. They go away and then you use sippy cups. I let her pick one out and I picked one out.. In the morning ALL bottles and paraphernalia was gone.

I asked her, do you want milk or juice? Handed it to her and we never looked back.

At her Birthday that day everyone gave her a sippy cup. there were a ton to choose from. So if she was a little grumpy or needed some controls, I would ask her, which one of these sippys do you want today? Do you want milk or juice? Or Milk or water?

Don't stress out about it. It's not hurting her physically just emotionally. Let her be done when she's done. Our pediatric dentist told us to just make sure we brush the teeth after the last bottle of the day and that takes care of any milk sitting on the teeth all night. Even if she falls asleep with the bottle you can let it go. The saliva rinses the mouth out overnight so she is still fine. There is really no harm is letting her have a bottle or binky until they are fully ready to give it up. NONE!!!

We drink milk and other fluids all day and we don't get milk rot, that's because we don't go to sleep with the full bottle of milk where the milk is dripping into the mouth all night. If the little one is doing that then you just take the bottle out after she's asleep.

Poor baby girl..I didnt read the other responses..but at 12 months, the day my kids started drinking whole milk, we went cold turkey. I just threw away all of the bottles so I couldnt give in and give them the bottle. Throw away all the bottles! She is almost 2 years old. When she throw a tantrum, just walk away. If she is thirsty, she will drink. And guess what, the tantrums will cease completely within a week

Updated

Poor baby girl..I didnt read the other responses..but at 12 months, the day my kids started drinking whole milk, we went cold turkey. I just threw away all of the bottles so I couldnt give in and give them the bottle. Throw away all the bottles! She is almost 2 years old. When she throw a tantrum, just walk away. If she is thirsty, she will drink. And guess what, the tantrums will cease completely within a week