My 6th month old is incredibly fussy and the queen of inconsistency in sleeping, eating, spitting up and overall contentness. This brings so much tention to our home and I feel us all wearing thin from it. After 6 months of this I feel guilty for not enjoying her more and feel the time slipping from me so quickly. At the same time, I long for her to be 1, which is the age that I have heard and read can bring the end to such fussiness. Our pediatrician says she has reflux and she has been on Zantac for that since she was 3 months old. When she as born, the placenta was quite small and she was close to being labeld an IUGR baby (Interuterine Growth Restriction) and she continues to being very low in weight (15th percentile). I am also nursing her solely. I have experimented with taking dairy out of my diet, feeding her formula, solids, feeding her upright, putting her to bed earlier, pushing a soother of some kind, white noise for sleep, going for walks, being outdoors, and others. But her general inconsistency makes it difficult to tell what the problems are if there are any. I am writing to seek stories/support of other moms who have had fussy infants. The moms around me and that I know of, do not have such babies and right now I'm just feeling like the odd baby out---wondering if my pediatrician is missing something or if I am, since I have been so used to her crying for so long.
Have you tried taking her to the chiropractor? I have heard a chiropractic adjustment can do great things, though I've never done it so I can't tell you from experience. My sil takes her son because he wasn't sleeping well. She said after just a couple of visits his sleeping improved.
Have you tried wearing her? In a sling, wrap or other carrier. When my youngest is fussy (he's 4 months) I put him either in my Moby wrap or mei tai and he usually calms down pretty quickly.
I had a really fussy girl also. I took milk out of my diet to the best of my ability when she was 3 months old. I wasn't getting much sleep and felt so worn out. She refused a bottle so there wasn't much break from her neediness. I think we started baby foods or cereal about six months and that helped some. Molly didn't sleep well until 13 months and was so very clingy and not in a good way until 12 months. At 3 1/2 she is super independent and stong (strong willed also). She does have some milk sensitivity but can eat yogurt and cheese. She is a small thing (3-5%) but strong and active. I've been there and you can make it.
I'd try and journal and see if you are seeing a pattern of things that aren't working or something that might be making a difference.
Talk to a doctor about what you are observing and see if they have any suggestions!
Hi Cara, You are not alone. I was lucky to have a happy baby, but my sister in law who delivered 3 weeks before me got the fussiest/loudest/crabbiest/touchiest baby I have ever met. I was around to help her alot and took care of her many times. It is very trying, but does get better. I know how tired and frustrating it can be. My sister in law just needed to take breaks now and then, which is when one of us (me or grandma) would take her for a a few days or even just a few hours. Do you have anyone who you can rely on to watch her for a few hours? The break do wonders for you.
A few things that worked well for my neice were were switching to soy formula (this was a big help with her reflux - she was also on Zantac) and having her lovey and pacifier with her at ALL times. She is now 15 months old and is a different person. The solid foods and walking/crawling independance helped her grow into a happier person I believe. She does not have a problem with cow's milk, but that normal formula did not work for her. Anyway, hang in there & I hope it gets better for you very soon.
I think some babies are just fussy. My neice was a horribly fussy baby. If you even looked at her wrong she'd start crying (no joke!). My sister went to the dr with her again and again, and there wasn't anything wrong with her-- just fussy. The good news is that 1.) her fussiness started to calm down once she got past 6 mths. and 2.) she is now a delightful, happy, sweet-natured 8 yr old =)
HI, Cara. My baby was like this, too for at least 4 months until I took him to cranio sacral massage. He was diagnosed with acid reflux and zantac and prilosec didn't work for him.
The ONLY thing that worked was cranio sacral massage (it's a very gentle massage focusing on the cranial bones and fluid that goes around the brain and down the sacrum). In 3 appts I had a new baby (I was going completely insane because of sleep deprivation). Afterward, my mom asked me, "how did you know he was such a lovely baby underneath all that screaming and fussing?" Your pediatrician may or may not know about this treatment- ours was curious and open to us trying it (since nothing else worked) -but it's a new thing that people specialize in (some chiropractors do it - go to someone who specializes in infants and kids). I'm a total convert now since my boy is 5 and happy/healthy. Good luck! Jen
Please don't stop breastfeeding. That is my first advice because I know that pediatricians, other moms, your mom or mother in law, friends, etc, the first thing they will say is 'oh she's allergic to your milk, switch to formula/soy/whatever'. Thats not true, so keep nursing.
AS for the reflux..... I think its very overdiagnosed. Some babies are fussy, some babies are spitters... doesn't mean they all have reflux. The meds for reflux can be more detrimental to baby than reflux itself, and most of the time its just a fussy/spitty baby.
Now onto the nursing. HOW are you nursing her? Is she only nursing one breast at a time... or are you switching breasts mid feed?
She needs to nurse on one breast for each nursing session. DON'T SWITCH BREASTS! Thats old advice and by switching breasts mid feed, you are giving her too much foremilk and it will make her gassy, irritable, not able to sleep, and possibly in pain similar to reflux. THe foremilk is watery, and it will quench her thirst but not do much for keeping her full. She needs to nurse one breast per feeding so she can get the fatty hindmilk that will fill her up, nourish her body, and the fat her brain and body needs. So one breast per feeding, then the other next feeding, etc.
Do you have a sling? She may jsut need mom. My youngest was like that. He's 3 now and the most independent kid!
Try the chiropractor too... a minor adjustment or two may make all the difference in the world.
Cara,
I don't have personal advice, but my nephew was a very fussy boy. To the point that my sister-in-law once told me that she felt like he "hated his life". She too felt like she was missing out on the baby fun. Now, he is still a kind of tempermental boy (at nearly 3), but he had mostly grown out of the "colic" by the time he was 10 months. She too breastfed, and tried EVERYTHING. He really just had to out grow it.
My only advice (that others have suggested) is to make sure you get adequate breaks. Get support when ever you can so that you can take a walk by yourself, or go to the store, or whatever. It is really exhausting having a fussy baby, and you need to take care of yourself so that you have the energy for it.
One thing to note on her size, by second boy was HUGE at birth (9 lbs 7 oz), but by 3 months was in the 10th - 15% for his weight, and is still about there today at 2. She may just be a smaller baby, and it may not have anything to do with her placenta size or what she's eating. :) My pediatrician did a bunch of weight checks (I was nursing solely too) and made me all worried about his weight, but in hind sight, he was just leveling down to his normal size after being born at 42 weeks a little on the fat side :)
Anyway, good luck to you, and know that "this too shall pass".
Jessica
SAHM to Charlie (nearly 4), Joey (2) and Rebecca 3 months
Just wanted to offer some support and suggestions. My first was very fussy as well, I had postpartum depression, didn't enjoy him either for awhile....I know how it feels sucky to feel that. but it will get better!! He was great before the first year was over! You have had some great suggestions- the breastfeeding one was right on about getting the hind milk. Also I did do the chiropractor for my little guy-instant success, my MIL couldn't believe how he had changed, she wasn't happy when we told here what we did! But she didn't live with him so we tried it! (I took my daughter after ahe was born as well.)
Another suggestion I will put out there is to try a book called Baby Wise, some people give it a bad rap becasue they say it's rigid, but they obviously haven't read or didn't follow it well. It basically helps a parent put their baby on a routine(not ridgid schedule) with feeding playing and sleeping so as to help the baby learn to regulate themselves and so that you will know what it is she needs instead of guessing. I followed it with my daughter and all my daycare babies and it is wonderful. It is worth a read even if you don't follow it. but I do not believe in "demand feeding", honestly, a baby cannot tell you when it needs to eat without a routine, popping a breast or bottle into the mouth at every bit of fussiness accomplishes nothing but soothing with food and not meeting the real need, JMO!
Hang in there though and it will get better. Other moms can be great support, and try to get some breaks from her to keep yourself energized. A healthy mom is best for her baby!
I am so sorry to hear that you are having fussy baby issues. The reflux is a tough one! I have had some moms that I have worked with that have had many feeding issues with children that experience reflux. Are you currently working with anyone outside of the home on this issue? I might recommend checking into Early Access to have them come and do an evaluation. My daughter, who is now 9, was an incredible fussy baby. At 5 months I found out that she was unable to tolerate my breast milk and I had to put her on Nutramigen Formula which made a huge difference. I wish you luck in your journey!
Dear Cara-my son, who will turn 1 next month, was fussy. He was diagnosed with reflux and was on meds for that. But in addition to I also have him taking a probiotic. It is like the "good for you" cultures in yogurt. You get it in the pharmacy-it has to stay in the frig-and I put 1/2 a capsule in his food in the am and 1/2 in the pm. If you are breast feeding add it to a bit of food. I just put it in his bottles. But that will change once I wean him. I was not super successful at breast feeding so he was on soy formula from a young age.
My other bit of advice-a sleep schedule. And I know many people are against the "cry it out" but I have to say that kids really find a lot of comfort in routine and at 6 months is when I started with my little guy.(I never let him cry for more than 10 minuets-If he did I would go in and sooth him and lay him back down, I think the first week it took a few times of going and doing this before he got the picture. Even today he still crys a bit before he starts to babble and then falls to sleep) It is hard at first to hear them cry(just about the hardest thing for me at that time)-but you have had to hear your baby cry a lot- and this will begin to help her self sooth. A book I will recommend is " On Becoming Baby Wise". Take the information and use it as you see fit. I hope these things help you. With Joey-he is my first and I defiantly know how hard it was when he was so little. And please do not feel guilty for wanting your life to be a bit easier. It will be. I wanted the same thing. And now that Joey is almost a year-things for all of us, Mom, Dad and Joey are settling into place.
Both my kids were fussy like that because of there reflux. So, I have become a pro at handling it. First of all ask your doctor for a different medication for the reflux. Zantac is very weak and wears off after a couple of hours. Our son and daughter were both on prilosec. Trust me it makes a huge difference. Then we prop up on side of the crib mattress so that his head is slightly elevated while he sleeps. Also encourage her to sleep on her tummy that also helps a lot. Then I would get the book Good Night, Sleep Tight by Kim West. That will help you deal with the sleeping issues. It has a section in there on how to deal with reflux babies and sleep. With all of that done I have my 11 month old boy taking two naps a day, and sleeping from 7-7 at night. If I don't do all of those things his reflux bothers him. Oh and he is also breastfed, but we give him a bottle of formula before bed because it is thicker than breast milk and helps keep that acid down while he sleeps. But first off I would talk to you doctor about getting a different medication, that in itself will make a huge difference. I know about the meds because my husband is in pharmacy. Hope this helps you.
Our son was a fussy baby as well. I remember the first 6 month being the worst. I could never figure out what he wanted or why he was crying. It made for alot of tension between my husband and myself. It also made me feel like I was quite clueless about being a mom. I had been around children of various ages all my life so this was quite a shock for me. Eventually I started to recognize some of my sons signs of needing sleep (rubbing eyes) and other signals. I never did learn what each cry meant like some moms are able to do. I read a book called "the baby whisperer" that talked about what certain cries mean and what other baby signs to look for. That definitely helped me. By the end of his first year things were much better (the second half was better than the first half). I even started to feel more like myself and was a little more confident. As he picked up language and became able to tell us what he wants/needs and how he feels things have become much smoother. Our son is now 3 years old and can be sensative about things especially when he is hungry or tired but is otherwise a pretty calm and easygoing child. The best thing I can tell you about dealing with a fussy baby is that you have most likely gotten past the worst part. :)
My baby was straight out miserable, cranky, and fussy. We think she was not tolerating my breastmilk or formula. The doctor switched her to Enfamil Nutramigen and I swear she changed overnight. She is now 4mos.old and I finally have a smiley happy baby. I felt ashamed or like I was a bad mom before I was embarassed everyone else's baby's were happy and enjoyed life I felt like my dd didn't even enjoy life it was a horrible feeling. I too wasn't enjoying her like I wanted. You could think about this formula. It's for colic, reflux, milk protein allergy babies. I swear by it.
You have some great suggestions already. Just wanted to throw out there that I cut dairy, soy, eggs, and excess sugar from my diet for a while and it made an enormous (like night and day!) in my baby's comfort. Before I cut those things out of my diet, she would go from easy-going and pleasant to miserable and fussy several times a day (probably because I was breastfeeding several times/day). It may not be what is happening with your baby, but I wanted to let you know in case this makes sense in your situation. I was able to ease all of those things back into my diet after a couple of months. Now she's 11 months old, and still happily breastfeeding! Good luck!
My son was exactly like that, and I remember the first 6 months were just awful! He was our first, and I felt like a failure as a mom, guilty like you that I wasn't enjoying my baby. He too, had acid reflux, and was on medication from 2 months until he was one. I know that was part of the problem, but I also think he just didn't like being a baby very much! Once he was able to move around on his own we started to see a difference, and once he turned 1 and was walking, he was a different boy. Just hang in there, the tide will turn! Easier said than done, I know! My son will be 3 in two weeks, and I can't believe how the time has flown!
Try "Gripe Water" and/or "Hyland's Colic Tablets". Both are great remedies for colicky babies. You can find either at co-ops, natural food stores, and Whole Foods. You can even buy them online. Let me know if you need more help.
Since he was 9 months old, I've brought my son to Langford Chiropractic in St. Paul. That's a ways from you, but perhaps if you call them, they can recommend a colleague in the west metro.
Cara,
My daughter was horrible fussy. She had gas all the time, she only slept during the day, she was always constipated. It was aweful! Later in life we found out she had a dairy allergy, but we also started taking her to the chiropractor. I know some believe this is not really a legit thing. I swear by it. I drive all the way out to Waconia every week to see our Chiro. I encourage you to look into this, they are also a great source of information about nutrition, and lifestyles. Good luck!
Sara
Cara-
I have a wonderful Chiropractor for you and your baby to see! I go to Davis Chiropractic and have gone there for years. Both of my sons have been adjusted by the docs at Davis Chiro and I can offer you a complimentary consultation if you would like to bring your baby in to see if they can help you. Please let me know if you would like more information. They have 2 locations, one in St. Louis Park and the other in Shorewood (near Excelsior). Good luck with this. I remember those foggy days. it will pass!
When you say you took dairy out, did you just take out obvious dairy (milk, cheese, yogurt, icecream, etc) or did you really take out all dairy (reading the labels of everything you eat and don't eat it if it says "whey", any form of milk, etc)? If you just took out the obvious dairy, sadly, you didn't take out dairy (unless you only eat fruits and veggies and obvious dairy). Everything from bread to cereal to McDonald's french fries can contain the protein from milk that could be causing your little one pain. I know because both my kids were/are milk protein sensitive. I won't go into it anymore here but if you want some advice on this, feel free to email me. My first one was 6 months old before I believed what a friend was telling me about milk protein. That was 3 years ago. Now there is a ton more research and even all the stuff that comes from the formula companies talks briefly about it. But it can cause gassiness, cramping, crying. Which can lead to not eating, or wanting to nurse all the time (because that is soothing), not sleeping, etc. My doctor thought it was acid reflux but I knew the meds weren't helping, and she didn't know much, if anything, about milk protein sensitivity. As soon as I went truly dairy free, it got better. After a couple weeks, she was a new kid. And I can help with easy food suggestions if that sounds impossible! I even still eat an icecream that is better than Hagendaaz (or however you spell it!). I hope I can help!