I would like the opinion of a few mothers on how they feel about their children on myspace.
hello nina
Iwas in the same boat as you i am a mother five girls and they all wanted myspace the three that were old enuff so i let them under one condition i got a space to so i can check what they are say and who they are saying it to i know that there are alot of bad people out there and they are awear of it to and know not to add people with out knowing them or checking them out i hope this helps you if you need any more info let me know amy motherofgirl
Your daughter is too young to have a Myspace page. You have to be 14 to start one. That said, there's nothing stopping a child from lying about their age to get a Myspace account. Myspace isn't any worse than any other websites, though.
I find that Yahoo is the worst for bahavior that is unsuitable for children. I used to play Yahoo pool, euchre, dominoes, and many other games that you can play against other people. I cannot een begin to give you an estimate on how many times people have hit on me in Yahoo game rooms(and I'm talking all out requests for activities I don't think we should name here.). That's part of the reason that I don't go there anymore. I've not encountered nearly anything that alarming on Myspace.
The internet is always going to be a risk for parents. The key is to minimize the risks. This is not done by banning Myspace, but by monitoring what is going on. I plan to start by not allowing my son to have internet access in his own room. We have a family computer in the dining room(I'm using it now). I plan to allow him to have a computer in his room when he's older, but not internet. If he wants to go online, he can use the family computer, so I could easily slide up behind him as pek at what he's up to. This will also teach him about compromise within the family. With most children having computers and TVs in their rooms these days, it seems that noone compromises anymore...but that's another topic.
Here is where I might get a little long winded. But, I hope this is helpful all the same. I am about to share some of my best tips for monitoring family computer activities.
1- Don't, under any circumstances, tell your kids what you are up to. This will make it harder for you to catch problems later. If you find something you want to confront your child about, just say "I know_____...." They don't need to know how you know.
2- Check the history bar on your browser frequently.
3- Check your internet options settings, to make sure that the history bar and cookies don't get deleted too frequently, just to make sure that you are not missing opportunities to check this.
4- Search your hard drive for suspicious activities. This is done by clicking start, selecting Search. If your kids use the computer under their own Windows desktop, run a search on your child's name. Every file connected with that user will display on a list. From there, it should not be too hard to identify files that seem off. It also can be helpful to run a search for words commonly associated with unsavory sites(I imagine I don't need to list the words here). This should be very informative. Keep in mind that you should open any files that trully concern you, though, just to make sure that you are not wrong about the content.
5- If your child has a messenger account, learn how to keep archives of conversations, and try to avoid letting your child know about this feature. I know in Yahoo Messenger this is done by clicking messenger, selecting preferances, then selecting archive. Make sure the bubbles near Save my call history and save my messages are checked. To check the conversations, just click contacts, select message archive, and it all there.
6- You might also consider insisting on knowing your child's passwords. If your child has nothing to hide, this shouldn't be an issue. My nephew refuse to give my sister his passwords, so I helped her password protect the computer, and she refused to give HIM the password. Internet access is a privledge, not a right. And your right to know your child is safe outweighs the child's right to privacy.
Might seem harsh to some, and I'm not saying all of the above actions should be used all of the time. But, if there is a concern, it's good to know some of the tools you can use to know what you are up against, and how to solve the problem.
My Space is totally unsuitable for anyone under 18 in my opinion. Not to mention My Space is a child predator's playground. It has nothing but dating, sex, and drug info for a curious preteen.
I was on there for my our new boxer puppy info groups and playgroups..... and got nothing but sexual emails??????
Parents need to be aware of the internet's negative capabilities. Have you ever surfed My Space or read peoples blog's and info on there? It is pretty explicit.
I am in no way saying your children want to be bad or anything but at that age they are so curious about everything and kids will be kids but My Space is too advanced for that age.
Sorry if I come off as negative but I worked with runaway teens and teens with problems for years and alot of them were simply pulled down the wrong path at an early age by someone older that they met online etc. Preteens and teenagers are easily manipulated and these types of websites make it easier for the manipulator to lure them in. Even if you are monitoring them.
I completely agree with Amy I. My son (13 yrs old) wanted one. I helped him set it up and made his profile private so that no body could add him without our approve. I check it all the time and gave him rules on what he could and couln't do. I feel that I can totally trust my child. Just have a talk with your child and lay out the rules first. Good luck
hi nina, i am 44 woman who happens to have a myspace myself. my daughter is in the air force in cali. and my son lives in ohio, so i have them , all there friends and some family members on mine, i have fun with myself. you can always set up an account and see what goes on on her page. and it's not snooping, anyone can look at the profiles. You would need to learn there little lingo talk but after awhile you pick up on it quick..anyways, if you think she is mature enough and resonspible, know wrong from right, yes go for it
I have no problem with my 12 year old son having a myspace account, i helped him decorate his page and i have access to his password so i check it all the time. I also have an account so its really easy for me to keep an eye on things. I would never just let my child have free reign on the computer you have to motitor it just like every thing else. All of my sons friends at school are also on myspace so i'm not the only parent that allows it. You should try it out its fun.
Nina-
I have a myspace account, and so doesmy brother who is 15 and my niece who is 11. My parents and sister in law both made the children have their accounts private, so nobody can view the account unless they are added to the account holdres freinds list. If you have access to your sons password, you can always get on before him and check his friends requests, and only approve the ones you know. I have also found that with me (I'm not sure about anybody eles's myspace) that only a few people that I didn't know asked to be added onto my friends list. I can totally understand you being worried, but if you just check his page, and check it often, I think things should be okay. Hope this helps -Danielle
Hi! I have a 14yr old, 12 yr old twins, and a 10 yr old. My 14yr old has a myspace (that is the minimum age I set for them). I also have a myspace, and made it a condition that my son must have me on his page. I also know his password, and go on his page with his password about 3 or 4 times a week to check out who is e-mailing him. This is a good way to keep an eye on it. Unfortunately there are about a hundred sites like myspace now a days, so I chose to monitor it rather than fight! I hope this helps!
Myspace can be a scarey place, but if you monitor what she is doing, and who she is speaking to, I don't think it there could be to much harm in it. My friends daughter is 14, and she's just been given permission for a Myspace page, after several months of begging, and all my friend does is, just like I said, monitors what her daughter is doing. She reads all the comments left for her daughter by others, and she reads the others profiles to see if they are appropriate people that her daughter should be talking to. She feels she's raised her daughter to be responsible, and their religious beliefs are high, so she also trusts in god to take care of her. I guess it all really comes down to one thing. Do you trust your daughter?
I am not to the stage yet where my baby wants a myspace, but I have a myspace. It is fun to reconnect with old friends and stay in touch with current friends, I don't see no problem with it as long as you have an account too and keep a close eye on everything. Very few "sexually orianted" emails or messages have come my way and if they have, the people who run myspace deleted them before I can even see them. (Not that I care to) I am sure you will make whatever desision that feels more comfortable to you. GOOD LUCK!
Hi there. I agree with the others. As long as you monitor it, it should be fine. Our son, who is 13 has one, but we have the password to it and check it continously. Also we had him to set his profile to private so that only people he allowed on his myspace friends list could see his info and had him to check under privacy that only those people on his list can contact him. I also have a myspace page and anything that shouldn't be sent is deleted before I see it. The main thing is just staying on top of what she is doing, just like anything else. I think it's a great place for teens when used the right way.
I have a myspace account & i do not add anyone that i do not know. if they send me a request then i look at their site cuz maybe they r from high school or something but if i do not know them i wont add them. i do not agree w/ kids having them. I have an 11yr old & there is no way she can have one. Its too scary. Even for me. I dont care if all her friends have one, those r not my kids. She is mine & that is who i am looking out for. take care.
I myself have a myspace page and I would say if you let your daughter have a page that you set it private. By setting her profile private only people that are approved can see her profile and what have you. I would also have you ask yourself how much you trust your daughter. I would set rules and limits and make sure that you yourself approves all of her friends first and that you check it regularly. Well I wish you luck.
I have a Myspace account as well and I have found just by playing around that if you are under 18 the people at myspace set the profile to private but she can also lie about her age and also depending on how much the schools monitor the internet she can access it at school without you knowing about it. My friends children set their account up like this cuz they weren't allowed to be on the computer at home. You just have to instill trust in your daughter that she will be honest about having an account because she can have more than one account in her name. Make sure all computers are monitored and check with the her school to see how much freedom they allow the kids to have on the net. Hope this works for you.
Jamie
The one thing I would like to add is that when some one under 15 has an account that is set to private other people have to know the last name of the person just to send an invite. So if they don't know the last name they can't send an invite or a message. I have an account and have added my friends kid's to it so we can all keep an eye on them :)
Hi Nina - I am 27 and have a myspace. I use it to keep in touch with my sisters who are quite a bit younger than I am. I have also met a few old friends their as well and find that it is nice to have. After being on their I personally feel that it is not a safe place for children, but I think that if you have a good relationship with her and faith and trust in her then, well.....it's up to you, you are, afterall the parent. But I think it takes those three things to make it a positive place. I agree with the other mothers who say set limits and know how to keep tabs on her. I would do this BEFORE she gets one. Make it very clear what the rules are and then reinforce them....I would make a list of the rules, be as detailed as possible, and post them near the computer. At 12 I believe you have every right to know her password and then use it. Also having a site of your own, being her "friend" and making sure that you set her profile to private is very important.
Myspace is like any other online site you can set hers to private, but that doesn't mean she can't look around and find inappropriate material. (It takes constant monitering to make sure that she is safe, but as in everything, she is only as safe as she is honest) And on myspace inappropriate material is everywhere. I finally had to set mine to private and make it so no one, but my friends, could send me msg, because I was getting all kinds of disquisting stuff sent to me. My husband and another good friend of mine (who haven't set theirs to private) are currently having the same issue. I guess if this were my daughter (who is way to young to want one or even understand what it is) I would start by sitting down and browsing myspace. They have a search option and I'm pretty sure you can do this without being a member or having a profile of your own. Search everything you can think of good and bad! This will give you an idea of what myspace is used for. Then I would look at her friends sites (I would do all of this on your own first). From their if you decide that it is something that you will allow her to have sit down and have a frank talk with her. If she is going to be on their, then she is old enough to know what she may find. And it is important that you as her mom sit down with her and be the one to cover those topics. Maybe even look at some of the sites..that don't cross the line entirely...together.
Then help her decorate her page. You might be suprised to find out what is out their, that anyone of any age, has access to, to decorate their page with. I have a lot of sites bookmarked that I use on a constant basis, but you get a lot of inappropriate material on those sites as well. You can check out those sites, by checking out other peoples profiles. Usually at the top of the myspace page their will be a graphic that when you click on it will take you to the site where they got their layout from. Also any graphic you find can be clicked on and it will take you to the site where they got the graphic from.
I hope something in their was helpful! Good luck to you, regardless of what you decide.
Their are also other sites that she can use, if you choose to ban her from myspace. One of my sisters friends uses Facebook and has blocked myspace altogether from his computer because of the pronography and other material that kept getting sent to him. Also just in searching for general things, he was suprised at what would come up and be their in plain site for anyone to access.
i agree with you, i think that 12 is way to young to be on myspace. i feel that 16 and older are more appropriate ages for myspace.
I think 12 is probably to young for myspace. I also think that no matter the child's age, it is up to parents to monitor what their kids are doing. For example, regularly visit the child's myspace page to see what's on there. Also, I don't think kids should be allowed internet access in their bedrooms, etc.
Hi Nina,
I have a myspace site and the reason that I did was my son wanted a site. It is set to private so only his friends can have access to it, but I also have access to it and to his friends. I monitor his daily and I also read what the other friends are writing to each other about. I know that is a little secretive but I am able to stay pretty up to date about what they are doing wanting to do and talking about. My son doesn't know that I monitor it as close as I do, I do it during the day when he is at school and at night when he has gone to bed. If you monitor it closely and set it to private I have found it keeps me in the loop of happenings with him and his friends.
Hope this helps
Missie