I am a mom to an almost 5 year old boy and am expecting a baby girl at the end of October. My son and new daughter will be five years apart. My close friend wants to throw me an intimate baby shower for this pregnancy because she feels having a girl after 5 years deserves a bit of "showering." I feel a little awkward as I have read in the past that two showers is tacky. Her argument is that because I have no "girlie" things and much of my old gear/equipment is ruined through three household moves, she believes it's ok to have a small shower with close friends. (It's totally true that we are out of the baby loop) So, I feel torn...especially about making a registry!!! Any thoughts??
Go for it! Keep it simple, but she's right, you will need some girl items - like clothes and blankets. My neighbor also wanted to throw me a shower for my second child. My children are only 3 years apart, and they are both boys. I felt awkward at having a shower for the second child too. I ended up doing it, more or less, as a favor for my neighbor because she was really into this shower. It ended up being fun, and I got some new things for the new baby, which was also nice.
I say go for it! Children are expensive enough, and if your friend WANTS to throw you a shower, who are you stop her? :) Don't worry about what other people think. If they don't agree or like the idea they don't have to go. Congrats on the future arrival on your baby girl! Live it up. 5 years apart....you absolutly do deserve a shower...
Let your friend throw the shower! With my first it was a combined effort between relatives and myself. But if you are having another baby and someone else throws the shower, thats fine. Especially five years later, you've probably gotten rid of the unisex stuff like the tub and playpen. Have Fun!
Hi Barbara,
I just went through the same thing! I have a daughter that is 3 and I just had a baby on June 28th. I questioned the whole second shower thing but my sister wanted to have me a shower to get some blue. It was a small shower and she actually did a brunch type thing with a few games and it lasted about 2 hours. She didn't call it a baby shower but a mommy's shower. She also had a basket for the big sister. It was really cute and it made my daughter feel special. My friends and family all bought her something small such as sidewalk chalk, bubbles, etc.
I did register and it was well worth it. Don't feel it is tacky. Have the shower and register!
Congrats!
Maybe you could try something a little different and instead of calling it a shower call it a "Girl Party" or "Lets celebrate Babara's upcoming Princess" - and just don't say anything about gifts, if your friends talk they will figure out that some people are bringing gifts. Think of it as an excuse to get together and celebrate with you!
Hi Barbara,
Congratulations! This is such an exciting time for you. I was given a baby shower for each of my children. However, when my first son was born I lived in Massachusetts. When my second son was born, I was here in New York. I have always thought that you only have one shower unless you are new to an area or to a church. My church in MA would always throw a shower for the first baby. But if you were having child number 2 or 3, ect... and new to church we'd throw one for you as well. We wanted to make sure everyone felt welcome.
All that being said...it's very sweet that your friends want to throw this shower for you. If they are insisting I'd go with the flow. Instead of registering though maybe you could just tell your best friend that a gift certificate to the store you are purchasing most items from would be nice. Then you wouldn't feel odd about registering. Feel blessed that you have friends who care about you and your new baby so much! Enjoy this moment :-)
My son and daughter were 7 years apart (son first, then daughter). One of my best friends gave me a little girlie party with other close friends; less than 10 people,very low-key. We had a great time. I didn't register or anything, but we had a wonderful time "oohing" and gushing over all the little clothes and toys. It was a wonderful experience, and it's nice that your friend wants to do it for you. That's what girlfriends are for, right? As for it being tacky, your're not demanding or even expecting anything; you're just celebrating with your closest friends. Nothing tacky about it!
Another friend of mine did something different; when she was pregnant with her third baby, she arranged a "spa" day. A bunch of us went and got manicures/pedicures/facials, and then we went back to her place for lunch. She wanted to do something special to celebrate the new baby with her friends, and she didn't need a shower (3rd baby, after all!). It was a relaxing and fun experience for everyone.
It's been 5 years and you have moved a few times so it would not be tacky to celebrate your new baby. But I would not call it a shower and it should be very relaxed. I would not register, that seems pretty tacky for a second child. Your friends will probably get you presents anyway as girl things are so much fun.
5 years difference, different genders... this is absolutely a situation that calls for a 2nd shower. And that's what it should be called, too. Consider that some of your gear (mainly your car seat) is too old to be reused. Also consider that what your son used may be too beat up to be considered safe - did he chew the rails on his crib? Did you use your playpen or stroller so much that they are now wobbly? You also said some items were ruined. This is actually where a registry DOES make a lot of sense. If all you need are new bottles and a new stroller, then your friends and relatives will see only those things on the registry. And maybe there are things you didn't have the first time (or weren't available) that you'd like for this baby - a sling or a hip hammock come to mind. I think most people today understand that each baby deserves at least a few new things. Unless your friends are ultra conservative and old-fashioned, they will definitely want to celebrate with you - so let them!
Go ahead and have the shower. I had my third child a little over a year ago and I did have another shower. My first two children are only 2 years apart, so I was not in need of anything then, but with my third there was a 4 1/2 year gap. You will be surprised hw much has changed. I actually still had a carseat from my 7 1/2 year old and after checking it out I found that there was a label on the back stating not to use after December 2006. With a new baby you want wverything fresh and new looking. If I were you I would let your frient know that you ust want a small intimate shower. My second shower only included my sisters-in-law, close friends and a few close family members. We didn't go into the extended family and distant friends. it was nice and we had a lot of fun. Go for it! Pamper yourself and that new baby girl!!!!
I'm having the same issue with my friend - she's having her second baby and her son will be almost 5 when the new baby comes. So I am throwing her a very intimate shower. I am going to invite just close friends and family, do it in my home - very low key. I think that's the classy way to do it.
Yes, a large baby shower for a 2nd baby can be tacky. However, something small, ntimate, and low key would be appropriate.
I would not register. If you invite only close friends and family, they'll have a sense of the items you'll need. You could also let the hostess know of a few special items that you would like.
Congratulations.
I say go for it and have fun...and go ahead and register too! It's not selfish to do that, it helps people to know what you need or would like for the baby.
Nothing tacky about it!
It's not like living with your partner for 5 years then having a bridal shower and a huge wedding... now that's tacky! lol
I was talking to a co-worker about this the other day b/c one of my friends and I have girls who are 3 and then boys who are 18 months old and we believe it is tacky to have two showers that close and one of my old friends had a daughter who will be 3 in October and is having a boy in October and is having a shower I think it is a bit too much personally to have one that close but after 5 years you do deserve it. Go for it and have fun
Well I must be tacky if that is what they are calling it. I have a almost 4 year old and a almost 2 year old both boys and I had two showers. Actually I had three showers.
I didn't throw them so who am I to say No. I lived in Rochester for my first son and my moms best friend through me one there and my mom and a church lady through me one here in Ilion. For my second son we lived here in Ilion and my mom and the church through me another one. I think it might become tacky if you were throwing the shower for yourself.
EVERY BABY SHOULD BE CELEBRATED. We said either you can buy a gift or prepare a meal for the family for after the baby was born. Again I say that every baby should be celebrated. Why should the second, third, fourth baby have to settle for only hand me downs. They deserve new things also. Just my opinion.
I has a second shower for my son and my daughter was 5 at the time too- the reason my family and friends gave me a shower though was b/c it was my first pregnancy and my 5 year old is my step daughter- there is nothing tacky about it at all- that just seems like the norm now
Barbara,
Good morning! Congratulations! My friend is actually is your same situation, so we are throwing her a "SPRINKLE." It's basically a small baby shower, but called a sprinkle because we don't expect the "big" things and only a few close friends are invited. EVERY baby needs to be celebrated...first or fifth! Your close friends and family would get you something even if you didn't have some kind of celebration, so this is just a way of having a get together. Register for smaller things, or request the necessities like diapers, bottles, clothes. I had my 2nd a year ago and they were 3 years apart, different sexes and the people at work had a small celebration for me and that is how I got a new stroller because everyone chipped in. If you need any other suggestions, ideas for games for the Sprinkle, let me know. I'm planning my friends right now!! Good luck with your new little girl!!
Janine
You know your closest friends, if you think they would be ok with it then go for it but keep it as simple as possible, keep the registry minimal and limited to major necessitites only (if you really need to do one at all) and let your friend communicate about any gift wishes. Then buy nice thank you gifts (not favors) for anyone who attends. It IS a special time and I think you do deserve something nice! I think its nice your friend wants to do this for you!
Barbara,
Go for it! I find that people are so generous and want to share in your special time. Having a registry will make it easier for people to do so. A few years ago, I spearheaded a "second shower" for a friend who already had a boy but was having a girl. My friend was so appreciative and the girl stuff is just so cute. I understand where you are coming from but you and your daughter deserve to have nice, new things. Congrats.
Margaret