My 4 month old daughter HATES being in her car seat. She starts crying almost as soon as she is strapped in, and arches her back and locks her legs staight while I am trying to get her buckled. I have checked to make sure that none of the straps are pinching and that the fit is right. Everything is correctly fitted.
Most of the time, she starts screaming as soon as she is hooked in. I have tried hanging different toys from the handle, giving her toys, sitting next to her to interact(whenever I am not driving) and nothing seems to be working. She does calm down almost as soon as the straps are unbucked (as she is leaning forward to get out!)
We do not believe in the "cry it out" method and my daughter is a very happy baby. She rarely gets overly upset and screaming; it pretty much only happens in the car. When I am by myself, I pull over, get her out and calm her down if she has been crying for more than 5-6 minutes. If she is going to fall asleep, it usually happens within the first 5 minutes. I try to plan outings around when she is ready for a nap, to reduce our stress.
I get car-sick easily, so I've wondered if that could be part of the problem for her. But, she calms down pretty much right away when out of the seat, and has not had problems with throwing up.
We have a well baby check next week, so I will ask her doctor for his opinion, but was hoping to get some ideas from moms who have been through this. I am beginning to avoid going out with my daughter to avoid the screaming (she is fine when we get where we are going). I am open to most anything (except "cry it out" or turning her forward).
My son was exactly the same way! He was a great baby, but would scream in his car seat. We even went and bought another car seat to see if he liked it better. He didn't. Anything we did was also planned around nap time. I also get car sick and thought he was car sick as well. It is so hard when they can't tell you. One thing we did was to roll down the window. The breeze and outside noises would calm him for a short time. Then we would roll it up again and then down. We also took a music class together and would play that CD in the car. Once the music became familiar to him, that helped a little as well. I came to the conclusion that he hates to be strapped down. He is still very active today and likes to move freely. He is now 15 months and still isn't a huge fan of the car seat. For us, it got better when he hit about 8 months. It got a whole lot better once we turned the car seat forward and he could watch all the action. Hang in there and if you know she is fed, changed and that nothing is hurting her, she is going to have to get used to it. You still have a life and need to go places!
I am wondering if she minds being strapped in an infant seat or swing?
You could certainly experiment with a different style of car seat. Do you have any friends or relatives who would let you borrow theirs, just to try it out with her?
Other than that, you may just have to allow yourself tons of extra time when you go places, if you don't want to let her cry it out. They grow fast, and she will be in a forward-facing seat before you know it!
My youngest daughter did the exact same thing. We did everything imaginable to just go somewhere without screaming. Eventually we ended up placing her in a forward facing seat that had the bar that comes down around the child. She was only 4-5 months old yet that was the only seat she would sit in for any length of time. She soon figured out how to get her arms loose and then she was fine.We are also parents who do not believe in crying it out. As she has gotten older(she is now 8) and is able to vocalize her feelings, we find that she is claustrophobic. She does not like any kind of clothing that is restrictive and she does not care for any overly crowded places.
It's pretty common for infants/babies to go through stages where they just hate the car seat. We found music actually helped the most. Sometimes quite loud to get my son's attention! Comforting never really seemed to help since he would just start all over again as soon as he was put in the car seat again. He eventually outgrew his crying. Meanwhile we tried to keep the driving minimal. But I had to go someplace alone with him I just had to let him cry. Needless to say, they were always quick trips! Goood luck and I'm pretty sure your daughter will outgrow this stage.
I had the same problem with my first born, he HATED the car seat and almost nothing helped - that first year was awful! Then my second seemed to be heading that way and we were frustrated because we'd thought with our son back there with her all the time, she'd be better! Then one day I noticed that she couldn't see him with the handle up - so I put the handle down and she's be fine ever since... so maybe put the handle down? With my son, we also installed a mirror so he could see us better and put up a film on the back window so that the sun wasn't in his eyes - both of which helped some. Another thing that helped was putting stuffed animals in the back window - faces for him to look at. or we'd use our cellphones and play with the ringers - the lights and sounds would distract him (difficult if you are driving!). Our doctor also recommended using pacifiers but he wanted nothing to do with them!
My story echoes everyone else's. My daughter hated the car seat from day 1. She also hated swings and pretty much anything that confined her. She's 10 1/2 months and still cries and fights when we put her in the car seat. We hung toys on it and have played classical music and she eventually calms down. Mostly we plan lengthy car trips around her naps and she clamors to get out when we unbuckle her. We just bought a Britax and I'm hoping the extra comfort will lessen the fussiness. I think at this point we're just used to her crying when we strap her in we ignore it because it's for her own good.
My oldest went through that stage around the same age. He just didn't like being confined. Once he was unbuckled he was fine. He would usually fall asleep after a few minutes of crying but I also tried to plan car rides around nap time and made sure he was clean and full. I absolutely would NOT turn her forward facing. I can't believe someone would do that with a 4-5 month old. Not only is it ILLEGAL but it is so very dangerous. Leaving the handle up while driving is also not reccomended for safety reasons. Does she take a pacifier? Is she too hot? Maybe dress her down when she's going to be in the car seat (just a onsie pehaps). Is the sun in her eyes? We used shades from a very early age to help with that (the film kind, not the kind with suctions cups as they can be dangerous in an accident).
Sometimes our daughter will do this when she is in the car and it can make it difficult to consentrate. We will stop, change her diaper, and feed her. Usually she stops crying when we take her out and starts crying when we put her down. When she acts this way it's usually because she is overly sleepy.
I don't know that you have much of an opption other than to cry it out. Unless you enjoy stopping every 5 minutes. Turning her forward could get you charged with child endangerment, so don't do that.
That's fine that you don't like the cry it out method but your setting yourself up for one really hard habit to break by pulling the car over to soothe your daughter at every wimpse and cry.
Is she big enough to switch to a convertible car seat {facing backward, of course)? My son hated the infant car seat, but was fine when we switched him to the convertible type.
My daughter also hated the car seat. She would scream as if in pain. The arching back is a signal of pain at times. We figured out she had gastric reflux and the compression of her tummy when strapped in hurt. I've seen other babies w/ reflux that like the car seat. Every reflux baby seems to be a bit different but being in pain while in the car seat is very common. Since we put her on Zantac she has been alot better. Talk to her dr about reflux. Does she spit alot after meals, sometimes cry w/o a good reason, spit more while lying down, cry when lying down, hate the swing, hate the car seat? These are all potential signs of reflux and different babies have different symptoms. Good luck!
Our second child was like that for nearly 3 years. It was miserable. My husband would just play the music loud, and she would eventually stop, but I hated that.
Recently I saw one of the nanny shows do one on this topic. ALL of their kids screamed in the car seat every time! The nanny had them bring the car seats into the house so the kids could get used to them in comfortable surroundings. Amazingly the kids saw the seats and climbed right in and got buckled up without a problem! So they were to practice being buckled in the seats for a little while each day in the house. It worked, the kids didn't fuss at all when they went somewhere within 2 days.
Where were the nanny shows when I was starting out???
OH, and if you want to try the motion sickness route, there is an herbal remedy that works AWESOME!!!! on my daughter. I found it at Walmart. It is just a liquid that you rub behind both ears. Stinky, but works amazingly. That has saved our lives in the car! My dd has thrown up with Dramamine, but not the herbal stuff.
Our kids did the same thing. And what we figured out is that they were having reflux pains. The car seat puts them in a position where it pushes there knees up into there intestinal area causing them to have reflux pain. Even though your daughter may not have the symptoms normally, it can still be causing her pain. We switched from the infant carrier to the bigger car seat. He is still rear facing but the bigger car seat doesn't push his knees up so much. It has helped for the most part. But there are still those days when it hurts him more than others. Hope that helps.
My son used to do the same thing. It was awful. It lasted many months. Hang in there, it will pass. We finally found a stuffed lion that played a tune when you pulled its tail. We just had to keep pulling its tail the whole time we were in the car. He never slept in the car. THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
Have you tried playing any "kid or baby" cd's in your car while driving. My daughter was the same way so I really feel for you...it is hard on your nerves when you are trying to concentrate on driving. I had an old Raffi (kids artist....think tapes was from the late 80's) tape and started playing that and she instantly would calm down...it was crazy, but it worked. I am not sure if my daughter was as young as yours when we started (more like 7 months I think), but it may be worth a try. Good luck! We did travel around her nap time as well. If it helps she did get better as she got older!
Try getting her a book or something to play with before getting in the car for the ride, then maybe it'll occupy her mind enough to not care about the carseat.
I also get car-sick and HATE it. Window's help so perhaps keeping the windows down (even a little bit) will help with the air. Make sure that she's not dressed cool. My daughter used to cry in the car seat, until we figured out that her back would get super sweaty while in it because we had her dressed too hot. We even stopped making her wear her jacket in the car in the middle of winter...just because her back would get sooo sweaty it would just about soak her clothes through.
first of all way to go mom for not resorting to the cry it out method!!! im glad to know there are other moms like me who are sensitive to the needs and feelings of their children! :D awesome work! and keep it up, it seems so hard sometimes when you are so tired and just want baby to stop crying...
hm. this is a tough one. as long as you also dont lose your resolve and loosen the seat belt, this is dangerous and could cause serious injury or death if there were a car accident.
one of the things that they did in the hospitol when we first put our son in a car seat was to grab it at the head and foot and swing back and forth with the seat at your waist. many many many times when our son was young, one of us was in charge of standing and swaying the car seat while the other got the diaper bag and whatever else. once in the car and moving, our son usually was fine, but that initial getting him in the seat was the hard part.
with this subject it is important to show no other option. children must be securly fastened into a car seat and seat belt, no exceptions. if you do it once, they will see the inconsistency and expect to be able to get that again...
this is of course when they are older.
i dont really know what to do specifically about the crying when in the car seat, but give the swaying a try.
it was the only thing that worked for us.
Boy that takes me back. My 8 year old daughter was the exact same way. When I wasn't the one driving I would put my finger in her mouth and she sucked on it like a pacifier. She actually had a pacifier but that wouldn't work for the car. I think that she just like feeling my skin. Also we played music. Her choice was our Hard Rockin 80's cd but she wanted it extremely loud or she wouldn't stop crying. Another thing that you can try is a chiropractor. If her back or neck is out that might be a very uncomfortable position before her. I know that in most cities you can find some that will work on infants but I don't think that all of them do. I have brought my kids too them and it has helped with acid reflux to wetting accident problems. You would be surprised what can be affected by having your back not aligned.
Good luck and I hope she out grows it soon or someones suggestions will help you.
I wouldn't worry I think that's normal. My boys both did that for a couple of months, and then just stopped on their own. During that time I found that if I was on the freeway or highway after they would stop, but at slower speeds for some reason they wouldn't. What I did was I just stopped going anywhere unless I had somebody else with me to drive so I could sit in back and entertain them until they got over it.