We have been married ten years. This is a second marriage for both of us. Our toughest challenges have been losing both of our mothers and going through a custody battle with my ex. Now, we also have two boys of our own who make our world.:). We are very hands on and devoted to our boys. We do not have many close relatives, so it’s just mainly our little family.
My husband and I have the usual marital conflicts like he doesn’t help enough around the house and he spends too much time playing his computer games when he should be doing some chores. I find myself overwhelmed at times and end up blowing up at him. We then bicker and let it go. We don’t stay angry at each other for long since we are both very anxious pieces of works. Once we get all of the tension out, we are good again. Life is too short to stay angry–we both see it this way.
I am a very lucky gal overall. My husband works hard to provide so that I can stay home and take care of the kids. I realize that this is a luxury in this day and age. He doesn’t know it yet, but I plan on returning to work in the next year, so that he can slow down in his career. So, I do have his back.
The biggest challenges had to do with child rearing (and could have been solved if certain people had good/proper communication skills. You can’t resolve anything if one person refuses to listen to anything and will leave or even drive out of state to avoid even the simplest “conflict.” I have no respect for people who can’t listen to others). Differences in parenting philosophy, differences in involvement, poor parenting during the teen years (him).
I am still working on finding forgiveness, because things were never resolved when they needed to be, and there was ultimately a lot of water under the bridge.
Three things I’m finding are helping: One - time. Two - personal growth and change (him). Three - some great sex. It certainly helps.
I just saw an article that said, “loving the right person is not hard and not a job”.
We have been married 33 years have loved each other since we were 13. We have had ups and downs. The downs mostly his mother. She never approved of me.
But his grandparents were awesome and completely embraced me. That is what gave us strength. We had communication problems and immaturity when we first married. Marriage counseling helped tremendously. Neither of us had seen a healthy marriage, except for his grand parents. We needed guidance.
I fall back in love with my husband over and over. He is a good man. He helps others. He is empathetic. He can laugh at himself. He loves me unconditionally even though I am emotional, opinionated and a royal pain sometimes.
Right now we are getting ready to move for the first time in about 30 years. He is stressed and I am constantly saying, this is going to be fine. We are ahead of schedule. He is all doom, Doom,doom. But then I give him a hug and a kiss and he smiles.
When I am stressed he asks “how can I help” ?
We have ways of communicating without words.
It is not always easy. He can get on my last nerve. I have a dear friend that is a criminal defense attorney and I have warned her, I may end up in the Travis County lock up, so be ready.
I guess you can tell we are passionate people. We speak our minds, but also know and tell each other, sometimes we are just venting.
I’ve been married for 13 years. I think our biggest challenge (but most rewarding) hands down is being parents. Our first was a surprise, so our life changed so drastically and unexpectedly. It really turned us upside down. We always say that if my son’s severe colic didn’t end our marriage, nothing will.
I have to also say that our marriage has never been hard or challenging. We hear people say that you have to work at a marriage, and that it’s difficult. But for us, it’s really not. I can’t really say I have ever had to work at our marriage up to this point. Now, I’m not going to say that this won’t ever change, but until now, we have had a pretty happy marriage. We do have our spats, but we never stay mad and we use humor a lot to iron out our differences. We just can’t hold a grudge with each other. We are pretty good-natured that way. We were older when we married (late twenties) so I think that really worked to our advantage when we married.