Ok, ladies, this is a new area for me, so I need to draw from all your experiences.
My grandfather (79) was hospitalized about 10 days ago for a mental health evaluation due to some recent episodes of confusion, bizarre behavior, etc. (i.e. roams the house all night, put his glasses in the silverware drawer, forgot to turn the shower off and flooded the basement, was going to nail the basement screen door shut, but had no idea why, that kind of stuff...)
He has a lifelong history of depression/anxiety/panic attacks, but he vehemently denies that he is or has ever been depressed. Refuses any and all anti-depressant medications. He has threatened suicide almost daily for the the past few years. He does have some legitimate pain issues (back injury, interstitial cystitis, prostate issues), and he does take one pain pill daily for pain. He also takes a nerve pill, in addition to a host of other drugs for his other conditions.
He lives with my 79 year old grandmother, who for all intents and purposes, has her faculties (still drives, isn't confused, etc.) She is slowed down by severe arthritis, and has trouble hearing, but other than that, she's in good health.
Prior to the bizarre/confused episodes, he had been living a pretty miserable existence with my grandmother, but they managed there together (he doesn't leave the house, except for an occasional doctor appt.) My grandmother was able to deal with him for the most part, other than being really beat down by his depression and constant threats of suicide. Physically, she was able to care for the house, cook for him, etc., and he didn't require help with activities of dailly living.
So back to the present. He is currently still hospitalized, but set to be released HOME on Thursday. He is diagnosed with dementia, and has been stabilized on medications for it. His doctor believes he is stable enough to come home, so long as whomever is home with him feels comfortable with that, which my grandmother wants him home, so she says she is.
Problem is our family is kind of in 2 camps as to whether it's realistic to think that he can live at home. There are those that feel he belongs in a home, and my grandmother will not be able to care for him. Then there are those of US that feel like we should at least let him try to be at home, and if it turns out that he is not well enough, or my grandmother can't handle whatever increased responsibility she may have, then we look at other options.
This is quickly turning in to major family drama.
If you have any experience with dementia, do you think that it is reasonable that my grandpap might be able to function well enough at home to be there with my grandmother? As I said, he has no physical ailments that require anyone to care for him. He just needs what he always needed, fed, basically.
I hate to keep going on. I know this is too long already. We are having a "family meeting" tonight, and I just need some insight before I open my mouth. If it's unreasonable to think he can be at home, please tell me.
Words of wisdom? Insight?
Thank you.