People appreciate honesty, don’t you?
Not telling at this moment is not an issue of honesty. It’s a matter of good sense. Your past history with miscarriages makes it sensible that you not discuss this until you are past the first trimester; focus for the next month on staying very healthy and ensuring you get into that second trimester healthy, and then worry about the work issues. And the employer cannot ask you about pregnancy when making an offer, nor do you have to reveal it when accepting.
You do indeed need to find out the employer’s policy on maternity leaves and what you will be eligible to receive – you will have been with the company less than a year and might find that if you’re “on probation” as an employee – many first-year workers are on probation in terms of eligibility for things – you are not covered by certain leave benefits (including FMLA) so anticipate that you might have to take another form of (possibly unpaid) leave. Check the employee manual and the leave policy manual.
You also seem to anticipate taking three months off – your employer may not allow that long off for a new employee, so you may then end up spending more of your pregnancy arranging child care to start much sooner than you thought. Just something to keep in the back of your mind.
I would not mention this until past the first trimester and yes, I’d go ahead and take the job in the meantime, especially if you plan to keep the job after the baby arrives. Only you know if you feel close enough to your old boss to approach him and say, “Hey, in confidence, this is what’s going on and what do you think this will mean for me as an employee?” If he’s the head of the organization, though, it might be inappropriate to put him in that spot, even if you consider him a personal friend.
I like Diane B’s advice. If you want the job, take it! No, you will not be eligible for FMLA, but if they want you, they will still hold your job for you.
My sister has had such a weird employment background. For the last two big job changes she made, she was pregnant during the interview process and hiring process. And we’re talking 5-8 months pregnant! She was upfront with both employers, but she was very much wanted, and they bent over backwards to make it work for her. She is very successful in her career, and no one resents her for having been pregnant when she took the job.
I have recently re-entered the work force after 10+ years as a stay-at-home wife and mom. While I was interviewing and considering job offers, I felt so guilty and horrible for having to ask for accommodations so I could take care for my kids. (Ugly divorce. The burden of child care is all on me.) When the job offers came rolling in, I realized that all of these employers have families too, and they were happy to make accommodations for me, as they do for men too. I am fortunate that my supervisors respect my priorities. I get the job done at work, and I love that I don’t have to worry about getting fired if I come in a few minutes late or have to call in sick (with no sick leave built up) if my kids are sick. It really makes me want to help others in the same situation whenever I reach a supervisory level in my career.
I do realize that my sister and I are very lucky to have been in positions where our professional skill sets are in high demand. Most people, especially women, are in jobs that are more easily filled.
My advice: Wait for the job offer. Then tell your new direct supervisor. It is illegal for him/her to rescind the offer due to your pregnancy. But if his/her reaction is negative, you might want to reconsider whether or not you even want to work for him/her. Congrats on the pregnancy! Sounds like you have a lot of good stuff coming your way!
You don’t have an offer on hand as of yet. So far you are speculating that you will receive an offer.
As a potential employer, I appreciate honesty.
Given your past issues, I understand not wanting to say anything. However, if this new promotion and increase is offered and you are able to work from home as you mentioned, I would feel like someone tried to scam me if I did not know all facts upfront. Hiring someone who primarily works from home entails a lot of trust in the employer’s point plus self motivation and self discipline on the employee’s part.
You can’t work for an employer, stay home with children and get paid…much less a newborn. I personally won’t pay a mom to stay home with her children. I know this was probably not your intention but it looks sketchy if you are not honest.
You might want to find out the policies of this company for employees who work from home and have children. You’ll need child care if you do end up with an offer .
I don’t know what type of opportunity this is but most companies do not recognize a 3 month maternity leave. Most give a max of 6 weeks. Your expectations on leave seem awfully high, esoecially going in to negotiate a new job.
I wouldn’t mention it to anyone at this point. It’s your business and none of theirs. You don’t have to.
First, it is none of their business when you found out and they can’t ask.
I chose not to say anything to my co-workers until after my first trimester. I was having issues with my employer and another employee, so I did email the coordinator of HR who said he had to share this with my boss. She sat me down in her office and told me that she had to tell my co-workers and I told her HR already said I don’t have to and I have requested that the information not be shared. She was mad, but knew she couldn’t say anything.
I agree with those that said you should share the info. I would wait until you have the official offer and tell them that you have a few questions of your own (regarding maternity leave). It sounds like you have a pretty decent relationship with your old boss. I would tell him about it, but would express the sensitive nature of the situation. Pregnancy can not be a reason to pull the job offer. For those that say it is not the business of the company to be made aware, I disagree. They do need to know in order to make future plans. This is not a condition or illness. It is not something you can hide forever. If you wait until later, they will wonder what else you hide and wonder why you did not disclose this in the first place. Being open and honest creates a trust in you. It also allows them to plan ahead. Plus, if you were to receive a negative response, can you imagine how much worse it would be down the road. At least now if they react poorly, you don’t have to take the job. You also have a case against them. I am a manager and I do a ton of hiring. I would never let pregnancy get in the way of a decision, not just because it’s illegal, it just has nothing to do with the person’s skill set.
Good luck on your new job!