I am getting an offer today on a new job! Yay! It's perfect! I'll mostly work remotely from home, and travel a little bit. It's a promotion in level and salary from what I do today. And it's working indirectly for my old boss from 5 years ago who is really a great leader - smart, supportive, effective. He won't be my direct supervisor, but he leads the organization.
I found out a month ago I'm pregnant. I'm 8 weeks along and just had my ultrasound to find heartbeat & confirm dating, but it'll be another 4 weeks before I'm able to get a CVS or the new blood test that tells of any genetic problems. We've had 2 miscarriages in the past with DS, but we also have 2 totally healthy great kids.
I haven't mentioned the pregnancy because a) I haven't wanted to add that as a discussion topic during interviews; b) I haven't known if it's viable or not. Now, however, I'm about to get an offer, and this is absolutely a job I want to take, but I don't want to cloud anyone's opinion of my starting work, only to take 3 months off in July. i.e., should I mention it to my old boss now, or only after I start? Should I mention it to the recruiter or my new direct supervisor?
I wouldn't tell your employer unless you need physical limitations at your job. Share the news with them when you're ready to share the news with the rest of the world.
I would not mention it until you know the pregnancy is viable and you will need the time off. Give him time to cover you of course, but no need to spill the beans before you are even showing.
I would not share this until you've gotten the offer and accepted it, at least. Then, I would wait until you are ready to share this with others.
It's a risk employers take, and no different than if a new employee sustains a serious injury or gets a diagnosis of a disease. When these things happens, employers need to have a back-up plan in place.
On the other hand, I would check their employee policies closely. Employers aren't required to allow 3 months off for childbirth (sadly).
Added: the requirement to allow 3 months off only applies to companies with more than 50 employees. It also does not have to be paid leave.
I would wait until you're in your second trimester to say anything (after the results of the CVS test, and after you're past the first trimester, when things are more likely to go badly). Telling them at this point, and then (God forbid) losing the baby at a later point, and having to discuss THAT with all of your new co-workers... ugh. No. Don't put yourself in that position.
Congratulations on all the exciting changes!
ETA: Sue W, actually they are required to give 3 months off for childbirth. They are not required to pay you for it, but the FMLA does require that time off can be taken after childbirth/adoption, and you cannot be fired as a result. California law backs this up.
ETA 2: Please note, California law is different than what other states allow. Here, even IF your company doesn't qualify for FMLA and/or will not allow that due to length of employment, there is still PDL for all companies of 5 people or more, regardless of your length of employment with that employer. http://workfamilyca.org/resources/pdf/ca_family_leave_guide2013.pdf
Tell your BOSS asap, and ask that it not be revealed to the rest of the staff until you choose to do so.
No need to tell them now. It is illegal for them to use this in a hiring decision unless you have a physical strenuous job and are asked upfront if anything will prevent you from lifting 75 pounds or standing all day, and that is a question they must also ask male employees.
They are not allowed to ask any medical questions at all. They can't ask if you're diabetic or arthritic or bipolar or pregnant.
You were right not to add it as a discussion topic during interviews. It does not belong there. If their opinion would be clouded, that's their issues, and it's exactly why it became illegal to discuss it!
You tell them when you are getting ready to take a parental leave, and you give them a month's notice or so so that task shifting and temporary retraining can be done. If something should happen and you need to go on bed rest, it's the same as if you were to fall and have a back issue, or any other unforeseen condition. Then you tell them - when they need to know and when it affects your ability to do your job or their ability to schedule temp help. You do not need to apologize for this or make excuses for it.
When the time comes, then you tell your direct supervisor first, not the old boss. The recruiter is out of the picture. The only reason to tell them now is if you think it would affect their decision about hiring you - but women have fought for 50 years for it NOT to matter, so that should be your position! Telling them now is virtually saying that you think they might rescind their offer and discriminate. They'll probably take that as insulting. So you take the high road, the professional road, and assume that they will too. It's no different than if someone gets an offer and then gets pregnant 1 week or 1 month or 1 year later. It is not a factor in the hiring decision, and shouldn't be.
If you have to go into the office once in a while for a meeting, when you're obviously showing, someone will probably comment. Then you can address it sooner if necessary. But the discussion should be about when you would be taking a leave, not whether you should have told them earlier or whether you feel badly for not mentioning it. Don't be sheepish or embarrassed. Be totally professional. Once you are employed, you will probably get an employee handbook which will detail the policies and procedures for all kinds of things, from vacation to parental leave to sick time.
Congratulations on so many levels- New baby (keeping positive thoughts for you!), new job offer, wow!
I agree with many of the posts: don't tell them now. Take the job, negotiate your salary, etc. and see how the pregnancy progresses.
Good luck with all of these exciting changes!
FMLA gets you 12 weeks off for childbirth or adoption if the company has 50 or more employees.
It doesn't apply to smaller companies.
It's not always paid leave - you'll have to use up all vacation and sick leave and then it'll be leave without pay.
Don't say anything till 2nd trimester.
I wouldn't share this news until you're farther along and showing and there's no choice. There's no advantage to the employer knowing now, other than to find a way to discriminate against you/rescind the offer. Legally, they can't do that, but it doesn't mean it doesn't happen all the time. Give yourself time to prove your value on the job and then inform them when you must.
Congratulations, BTW, on all of the positives in your life right now!
I would tell them now. If they give an offer, they can't legally rescind it bc they find out you're pregnant, right? So if that's the case, you have legalities on your side but you can put a better light on the situation by saying you want to be upfront about it. You can say you didn't even know until a few weeks ago and have miscarried before and you're still not sure this is viable, but you want to tell them. What can they do? They can't take back the offer but I think it makes a better impression that "keeping a secret." Let's be honest. No boss is going to be excited his new employee is going to go on maternity leave and have the complications that having a young baby at home bring. Why not work with him as much as possible to ease the burden in a way? I'm a woman and I'd be permanently annoyed with a subordinate who was hired pregnant and never said anything. Legal or not, that's how I'd feel. Someone on maternity leave creates a big gap in work burden. It's not just the money. It's the work load that has to be covered. I'd be much more placated if the person did tell me as up front as they could and recognized this was going to put a burden on me as the supervisor to cover. Or what about the coworker who maybe has to cover for you? I wouldn't be thrilled to have a new coworker who joins only to leave soon and dump her work on me. And I'm female. Imagine how some men will feel. So saying something may smooth things over and definitely say you didn't even know when the interviews started, you've miscarried a few times before, please don't say anything to anyone else in case you do again etc. That way there's more understanding why you didn't say anything up front. I have a coworker who is likely going to wait for her bonus soon after her maternity leave ends (and she's taking extended maternity) and then quit. I'd never recommend her for the next job she wants. I get what she's doing but it's just not fair to the people left covering for her as if she will come back versus hiring someone else. Those are my thoughts. Looks like I'm in the minority but to me this isn't about legalities or what you "have to" do legally but about current and future relationships.
DO NOT TELL THEM NOW!
Wait until you are at least 12 weeks or better yet about 4 months along. The person who you need to tell is your boss.
Til then, accept your job, get to work and feel great! Congrats!
First, congratulations!!! Very happy for you and your family!!!!
FMLA will NOT cover you. If the company meets the standards, YOU must be with an employer for 1 year prior to being eligible for FMLA. So again, you will not be eligible for FMLA. However, most companies will have a "leave" policy for those who do not qualify for FMLA.
That being said, IF you need to be paid and the time off you might want to stay where you are at right now. You have a lot to think about and decide.
I agree to proceed with finalizing everything with the job, etc. and tell them once you're in your 2nd trimester.
Contacts and congrats!
As Southern Yankee said, you will NOT be covered by FMLA if you haven't worked for the company for a year. They legally can't rescind the offer, but when the time comes, they don't have to hold your job open for you. Before accepting the offer, I'd be honest with them and discuss the leave options that they have available. Hopefully they'll be fine with giving you 12 weeks off, but if not, stay where you are.
Nope I wouldn't tell them until 5 or 6 months. I've gone through a lot of medical stuff but since I work at home I haven't shared a single thing with my boss or me team members. Treat it as a need to know situation. At this point they don't need to know.
You need to know the company's policy for maternity leave. Some have suggested you want until the 4th month, but the company could have a policy stating otherwise.
My husband received 4 weeks paternity leave, but I had to provide documentation from my doctor prior to certain point in the pregnancy (the 12th week, maybe? It's been a few years).
Just make sure you know the rules. You don't want to be denied leave on a technicality.
Also, 3 months leave is a long time. Heck, OB's recommend 6 weeks, but most people I know are lucky to get 4 weeks off.
Wait another month. If you let your boss know in Jan, there is still plenty of time for the company to prepare. And in the meantime, learn your HR leave policies. FMLA leave (12 weeks)may not apply, but short term disability (6 weeks) might.
"Hi, I'd love to wonderful job but there is something I need to talk to you about first. I am 8 weeks pregnant. How does that change this offer?"
Pregnant is pregnant and not telling them until after some magical date isn't anything I'd do. If you have a vast history of miscarriages then perhaps waiting is okay but pregnant is pregnant.
What I'd like to say is that you would still be offered the job no matter what. I'd take the minimum time off if possible so they don't have to hire someone to fill your position.
i am just boondoggled by how many people think you should keep it quiet. while i agree that it's not necessary to share all or most things with your potential employer, it is all the way over the 'dishonest' line in my book to hide this until they're stuck with you.
obviously i hope sincerely that they don't feel 'stuck' and that your presence is the company is so valuable that they will be delighted to have you no matter what. and because of the working conditions, it's likely they can accommodate you. but whatever one's legal rights, some companies, especially small ones, are blammed when an essential employee takes 3 months off, and they should absolutely be given the information so they can decide how to proceed. if you're going to work for a big corporation it's no biggie, but i've worked for small mom-and-pop companies and even mid-sized ones where covering for an absent employee for even a week is a struggle, and i think it's incredibly discourteous to have them go through the hiring process and then slap them with this only when they are legally bound to accept you.
have confidence in your abilities and worthiness, and be honest with them. i sincerely hope it works out beautifully.
and most of all, congratulations on your pregnancy!
khairete
suz