How much screentime is enough screentime?

I’m trying to get an idea of what’s a reasonable amount of screentime for my 13 (almost 14 year old). The battle never ends. I’ve tried a few times to allow her to self-regulate, and then moved back to using apply screentime features to control it (these are a nightmare by the way…) and still no really good solution. What are others doing for this? What tools are you using to control it, are you controlling it at all?

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Hi @Karlkamel You are asking a very common question and I can tell you there is no specific answer. It depends on so many things. I don’t know if it makes you feel better that the average 13 year old can spend as much as 6 hours a day on screen time. Screen time can be defined in so many different ways - TV, computer, phone, i-pad. And what she does while on screens can also make a difference.

A few general guidelines. Screen time can interfere with sleep so it is always good to be off of screens at least one hour before bed. Screen time should not become so pervasive that it replaces other activities; in other words don’t substitute screens for people and activities. It’s helpful to have a limit on how much snacking can occur with screen time as it is easy to just munch away and not pay attention to volume of food. Learning screen time is better than entertainment screen time and some entertainment screen time is better than others. Parents for younger children including your daughter’s are encouraged to actually share some screen time to have an idea of what is being viewed. At her age, it is often helpful to form an agreement about screen time rather than trying to dictate screen time because basically it is almost impossible to enforce a screen time ban or limit and much screen time is school related.

Last comment, as children age and becomes teens and young adults, your greatest leverage as a parent is the strength of your relationship. That does not mean let your daughter have her way to keep the peace. It means trying to manage these situations in a way that lets her feel heard. Screen time is very rewarding because dopamine is released which is very reinforcing. So try to find some other way for her to spend time that is equally rewarding. If screen time interferes with family functioning, health, school, friends or other activities it is good to get some professional help.

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If you are worried that she is spending too much time on her phone, I would try to find activities for her that will keep her so busy that she just won’t have any time or at least a reduced time for screen time (sports, chores, or some other hobby like gymnastics or dance). She may even be too busy to notice she has cut down on screen time. Other than that, as long as she has completed her homework, is not staying up all night, and is not shutting out real-life friends in favor of online friends, and is being safe about her online usage, I don’t see the issue.

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