I say it's time YOU become a control freak and do YOUR holidays YOUR way!! When I first got married my MIL wanted ALL the holidays! My parents were willing to give them up but I said NO WAY!!! Considering I was closer to my parents than my husband is to his, there was no way I was giving up being with my family. Anyways, we have always spent Christmas Eve with my family and then Christmas afternoon/evening with the in-laws. Christmas morning didn't get screwed up at all. If that is a problem for all involved, then too bad.
Growing up we always had our Christmas around the 23rd so we could be with one set of Grandparents on Christmas Eve and the other on Christmas Day. Worked out great!!! I never cared that we didn't have our Christmas in the morning; got to sleep late!! lol!!
(By the way - my MIL lost totally on Thanksgiving because she was such a Witch about it! I would have a big dinner for my side of the family and she would do her own thing with her husband and other kids. Both my parents are gone now but I still refuse to give in! Now it's my turn to be the Witch for awhile!! I may give in next year only because I'm tired of doing all the cooking but she'll never know why!! lol!!)
Good Luck and Merry Christmas!!!!
Just want to tell you that your plan sounds great, so stick to it!
In our big family, the same people ( our children, grandchildren, and friends) have been coming here on Christmas Eve for 30+ years....
We have the same foods and people bring them, and my husband and I do a few of them...we eat, sing carols, children open presents, and we have a gift-go-round for the adults....lots of laughs and fun...usually 35-40 people...hope you have a calm day...
We do the odd years at my moms for xmas day but not till 3 or 5. We have xmas eve with the in-laws on the odd years or the day after xmas. On the Even years, its xmas day with the in-laws around 1:00ish and then xmas eve with my parents. It works good this way but my MIL always tries to say its her turn for xmas day every year. She tries to use every excuse imaginable. I swap my SIL for hosting so this year I'm hosting xmas eve with the inlaws.
Enjoying everyone’s responses!
As far as getting to spend time with family, don’t get me wrong. I want to share the holidays with everyone. But our big struggle is that BOTH of our mom’s are control freaks lol None of my siblings are married so they always went to my mom’s for the holidays, and my husbands siblings in-laws are all out of town so they all go to their mom’s. So we were getting pulled in two directions EVERY time. If they said please be here at 4, if it was 4:02 and we weren’t there yet, they were calling. As the other mom would be pouting… “You’re leaving ALREADY?It’s so early, and it’s CHristmas”…you get the jist lol
And again, I will NOT allow my FIL to sit alone on holidays because they are all so immature! (long story there lol)