getting pregnant blues

Hey everyone, my husband and i have been really trying to get pregnant for about 5 months now with no success. People say that I need to be patient and not think about it, but how do you not? It was such a surprise when I got pregnant with my son; we weren't trying yet. are there any signs when you are not ovulating... I am starting to get pretty frustrated, and wondering if I should make an appointment with my doc. Any advise besides "don't think about it." (clearly said by someone that has never tried to get pregnant... I have said it before, but will NEVER say it again!!!)

Hey Carly! Sorry to hear that you're having a hard time. Since I don't know much about your medical background, ask your dr if it's possible that you have PCOS. Polycystic Ovary Syndrome...I have it...and I know you can have a hard time getting pregnant. My dr decided to prescribe metformin for me which she claims makes you extremely fertile...so she told me to use condoms if we weren't trying to have a baby. I've also heard of women taking clomid along with metformin to increase fertility. Good Luck to you! Sending baby dust your way *********

If you feel you should go to the doctor, go to the doctor. The one that I am currently pregnant with took us 2 years to get pregnant. But then, I will be 40yo this year....so it is getting harder for me to get pregnant.

I would go to the doc and talk to him about it.

One more month and doctors will help you. They ask that you try for 6mos before they step in to help. It took me 2 years to get pregnant with my son. I learned about natural progesterone and used that to get pregnant this time. You would need to get ovulation testers at a drug store too to see if/when you are ovulating. I have specific instructions on what to do if you are interested in trying this method. This works for women who don't ovulate regularly (like with PCOS) or have fibroids etc. It took me 3 months to get pregnant this time and that is the average time frame with everyone who has tried this method. Most get pregnant in the 3rd or 4th month.

Cynthia
www.purelybalanced.com

I am sorry to hear that you are having a hard time. :( Hang in there. I would get an ovulation kit from the drug store. Do some research on different positions and I know it sounds crazy but keep your hips elevated, like on a pillow, after you and your hubby are sweet. If you are concerned I would go to the doc. Best wishes and try to enjoy the baby making process.
Stacey

I won't say "don't think about it" but I will say I have several friends who tried for a longer than five months before it happened, when there was nothing "wrong". Have you tried one of those over-the-counter ovulation predictors? Can't hurt to call the doc. He/she can at least tell you how long you should give it before wanting to see you. Good luck.

Hi Carly,

Pregnancy doesn't just come from you, but also from your husband :) There are also a lot of things that can prevent it. I always recommend getting to a baseline with a good pharmaceutical grade, absorbable multivitamin. (I don't mean a Wal-Mart or a Costco or a GNC vitamin.) If your body is absorbing the nutrition it needs, it will work the way it is supposed to. You and your husband both need to be on one and dodge pharmaceuticals and processed foods that are so full of chemicals they mess with EVERYTHING in your system. If you are both healthy, in child bearing years, and you've already had a successful pregnancy, it shouldn't be too long before you become pregnant.

I speak to groups regularly on the immune system and how it breaks down and would love to help if I can. God bless and let me know if you would like more information.

Regards,

Mimi

Hi Carly,
I also had trouble getting pregnant the 2nd time around. We tried for almost 2 years, and during this time I had 2 miscarriages. It was a combo of having a hard time getting pregnant and staying pregnant. So my OB suggested to talk to a fertility doctor. I would highly recommend seeing one in a few months if you still are not pregnant. They can run tests that your OB cannot to rule out numerous things that could be affecting you or your spouse. It turned out in my case, I had a clotting disorder that everytime I would get pregnant, my body would attack the fetus as if it was something bad, which then resulted in miscarriages. I didn't have this with my 1st pregnancy. I went through In-uterine insemination with the fertility doctors and got pregnant the first time. I had to take shots of Heparin for the clotting disorder my entire pregnancy to trick my body into thinking this fetus was not something bad. We now have a healthy, happy baby boy and I believe that he wouldn't be here if I had not gone. I can give you the name of the practice and doctor if you like. It could be that you just need to try a bit longer - a lot of my friends had a harder time getting pregnant the 2nd time, but it could be something else. Don't wait as long as I did! It gets too frustrating!

Good luck and I'll be thinking of you!
Paige

Hi Carly,

I truly know how you feel. When I got pregnant with my daughter I had only been off BC a few weeks and boom...pregnany. When my husband and I decided to try for the second one I became totally frustrated. It took us over a year and a half to get pregnant again, talk about frustration. I spent a small fortune on ovulation kits, which in my opinion were very over-priced and were not acurate unless you actually ovulated around day 14, which I didn't, but I did not know that at the time. Many moms recommended the book, Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. It teaches you how to chart you BBT (Basal Body Temperature) and how to look for the other signs you are ovulating. It was the best $20 I spent, I know I spent probably 5 times as much on ovulation kits. After charting my cycle for about 3 months, boom I was pregnant. It turned out that we were trying on all the wrong days. Many websites and doctors automatically assume you ovulate on day 14, but that is really not the case. The book looks like long read, but it was a pretty quick read for me, maybe a little over a week. Also check out www.fertilityfriend.com, it is a free website that will help you chart your cycle. I used it in addition to the software that came with my book just to have something else to base it on.

I really do understand your frustration. My doctor ran test after test and everything came back normal. She didn't want me to start any real fertility testing until we had tried for a year, because as she put it, you could buy an truckload of diapers witht he money we would spend on fertility testing. We had just about decided to spend the money (our insurance wouldn't coer the cost of fertility testing/treatment) when I got pregnant. To make matters worse my sister announced she was pregnant with her third after a little over a year had gone by.

I will definitely not say "don't think about it", but the optimist in me says everything happens for a reason and to just have faith that it will happen when the time is right. For me, that was exactly what happened. I had just gotten a new teaching position and it turns out my due date is 2 days after the last day of school, talk about typing. Looking back, I can honestly see that if I had been pregnant when we started trying my daughter would not have been ready developmentally to accept a sibling. I really wanted my kids 3 years apart. Turns out they will be 3.5 years apart. It is amazing the difference 6 months can mean for a child's maturity and independence. My daughter understands what is going on and has loved being a part of the whole process. She is very excited about being a big sister and all the fun things she'll get to do with her new sister when she arrives.

Sorry for the long post, but just wanted you to know you are not alone. Apparently, according to my OB this (the difficulty of getting pregnant with your 2nd) is more common then most people realize.

I wish you luck and remember, have fun trying :-)

Amber

I don't know from experience how you feel so I won't give u any advice regarding how you might feel.I got pregnant with my first after hardly even trying after a couple of weeks and with my second my husband did it on whim as a birthday gift for himself and 10 days later my second was concieved.But I say go buy an ovulation kit,have sex on those days especially and try to enjoy the sex part of it rather than just focusing on getting pregnant.I don't know if positions help and I don't want to get graphic or offend anyone but the 2 positons that got both my children were me on top and doggy style.That was hard to type here but some people believe positions help so I just wanted to offer up the 2 that helped me concieve my boys.When I got preg. with my second I told the doctor I hoped it was a girl.She asked me if I had shaken him up before sex,after a brief moment of confusion sh said that girls fall to he bottom while boys float so I knew then the chances of me having a girl were slim hahaha.

My advice. Stop actually trying. the stress of "trying" could be doing more harm than good. Just relax and enjoy each other. You got pregnant with your son by not trying. It might work again.

Hi Carly,
When I was 22 I was told I had a very rare problem and I would never have children. I was literally losing a good percentage of my uterus evey time I had my period; within a year there was going to be nothing left. I was beside myself. I was just starting graduate school and did not plan on children then but I certainly wanted them later. I went through 5 different specailists and they all said the same. I decided this was not going to happen to me and I wanted my child, it was now or never! I told my chiropractor about this and asked what we could do. He had the answer for me. We got my progestrone and estrogen level tested thru ZRT labs. They are found online by the way and are very inexpensive. My progestrone levels are extremely low. You will not get pregnant and support the pregnancy if this hormone is not where it should be. I started on natural progestrone cream by KAL. Prior to this, my husband and I had tried for 6 months with no success. After a month on the cream, I was pregnant. The so called specialists whom never once wanted to test my hormones, said I would loose the baby at the rate my uterus was shedding. Well, they were wrong. I continued to use the cream until 32 weeks with the advice of my midwife and continued to get adjusted by the chiroprator every week to allow full blood flow to the baby. My pregnancy was wonderful, really a breeze:) She was born in 2004 and is now 3.5yrs old. Best of luck to you. I know how frustrating this can be, dont be afraid to try a chiropractor. I would not have my child if I didn't. You can also try keeping your hips elevated overnight after the deposit. Only helps it travel down more:)
Many blessings,
Jamie

Hi carly,
i am so sorry you are having such a hard time. It is impossible not to think about it. I understand from experience. It took me and my husband 10 months to concieve our second child after an unplanned pregnancy 3 yrs earlier. You could go see your doctor, but from experience most do not consider you inferital until 1 year of unprotected intercourse and no conception. I would suggest getting an ovulation kit to determine if you are ovulating regularly and when. From experience if you have a fairly regular 28 day cycle then you should ovulate between day 11-18 and would be most fertile then. Also we were told we were having intercourse to regularly and told to cut it down to every other day except during days 11-18. I hope this helps and good luck. Just as a side start taking the folic acid now.
Mandy

I had the same problem with #3. First two plus a miscarriage were immediate, #3 took almost a year. Go to the drugstore and buy an ovulation kit. This will help in 2 ways- first, you can not have sex until you are ovulating per the kit, and then the sperm will be saved up and have a better chance and two, you will be able to see if you do ovulate and if you do not, you can go to your doctor and get on clomid. So- I think that is a good first step. BTW- once I stopped worrying about it (which month the baby will be due, how many years apart #2 and #3 would be) I got pregnant. Good Luck!

It took me over a year to get pregnant with my first DD. I read "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" which helped me understand and track how fertile I was. My periods were irregular and there was a time that I went 6 months will no period. I encourage you to read this book and begin watching for the natural fertility signals that you body shows you. Good Luck.

I had trouble the second time as well until a friend told me to try the ovulater predictor test. I bought one and used it just like the directions said and I was pregnant the next month. Hang in there when you know how little time each month that your able to get pregnant it helps to have this inside info to pinpoint it a little,

Well, it depends on how old you are as to what your doctor will say. If you're over 35, most of them will do some tests and try to find out if there is a problem after 6 months of you trying, but if you're younger, a lot of doctors say it can take a year. You just need to call yours at the 6 month mark and see what they say. For some reason it seems to take a lot of people much longer the second time around. Don't be discouraged, but I know couples who have tried for over a year when their first only took a month or two -or was a surprise. Everyone eventually had another baby though! Good luck with everything!

Carly- I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. I know how difficult it is to not get pregnant. We have been trying to get pregnant for over 1 year now and I finally had to go to my doctor about it. I also have 1 child (almost 20 months old) and did not go through this with him. If you really want to get pregnant soon, I would advise you to make an appointment with your doctor. I have found out that I am not ovulating, so I am not on Clomid (but that is not working either). Looking back, I really wish that I would have gone to the doctor sooner so we could start investigating our options.

I wish you all the luck in the world and remember that you are not alone in this!!
Kim :)

Hi, my hubby and I were also trying to get pregnant and what I did was calculate out dates to see when we would ovulate. On a 28 to 30 day cycle you most people ovulate two weeks after they have their period. which comes down to what I heard or Oprah about 10 years ago was that you start with the first day of your period and count back 14 days and what ever day that is, then the next month that is the day you should try. For example, if you get your period on the 15th of April. Count back 14 days which puts you on the first of April so on the First of May, give or take a day or two, you should ovulate. There is also another method that I just heard about and that is checking your cervix to see if it is low and open or high and closed. My hubby and I got pregnant using counting method. I also checked my cervix to see what it was doing and sure enough when I was ovulating it was low and open and when I was done it was high and closed. Don't ever give up. We also had fun of course because when I tell him the day we need to work for we do it every day that week but I was told you only need to have sex every other day on that week. You could also get the ovulation tests like Walmart sells but they get costly. I hope this helps.

just don't think about it! ha ha. just kidding. i feel like shoving people who say that to me. i have a wonderful 3 1/2 year old daughter and have been trying to conceive since she was six months old. (that's three years, if you're keeping up.) :) i am here to tell you, pardon my candor, that it sucks. i have been through inseminations, oral drugs, injectable drugs, hormone suppositories, and nothing has worked. i am starting to explore nutrition and how it can affect conception, and while i am getting some answers, i am not pregnant. i'm hopeful it will happen by the end of the year.

so my advice to you is first, i know 5 months seems like an eternity, but it's really not a long time. and it's not abnormal to be fertile and not conceive within that time frame. if you are over 35 and it takes 6 months, see your doctor or a reproductive endocrinologist. if you are under 30, i would suggest waiting 9-11 months before seeing someone (but i am not a doctor, and you really need to listen to your body and not some stranger giving you advice on the internet.) in the meantime, practice some stress-relievers. try meditating (use your religion as a guide - meditation isn't as weird as it sounds), try practicing yoga (try a few classes 'til you find one you like, or purchase a dvd, such as Fertility Yoga from Monica Morrell), or just try going for a daily stroll.

i will pray for you - i know too well the pain you are feeling right now. you will conceive though - i am sure of it.