There are lots of articles online about over 40 pregnancies. Most are written about first time parents (I already have 2) or from people who are still in the thick of the baby years (basically they are still in their 40s and writing about it). I don't see a lot of perspective from moms who are 80 with a 40 year old, etc. So if you had babies in your 40s who are now grown or if you are a child of an older parent, I'd love your perspective on things. We've been debating a 3rd, but at 41, I am terrified to pull the trigger. However, I also feel so sad to think we won't have our 3rd. Am I crazy for even considering this? Being almost 60 when she graduates. Possibly being a 70 year old grandma of baby grandkids. Making a kid that will possibly be trying to take care of an elderly parent in her 30s while raising a young family. I feel guilty even thinking about it.
Editing to add: 1st: I have aging parents. I'm not expecting to have to pay for their retirement or keep them in my home and care for them when they are failing health wise. But I still will be there for them and have cares and responsibilities that arise from having aging parents and it is one thing to have those in your 40s or 50s with older kids and another entirely in your 20s or 30s with a young family. 2nd: I know there are a lot of factors out of my control and that we have no idea if we'll get terminal cancer at 20, struck by a bus at 40, or live to the ripe old age of 100. So I am just going with averages, which means around 80. 3rd: I do feel a bit selfish for even thinking about it, but ever since I had my second I just have this feeling that we are missing someone and I can't shake it. But perhaps I just need to come to grips with my own fertility coming to an end and be ok. Women in my family have historically been able to naturally conceive and give birth into their mid 40s, so I'm, pretty certain if I try to get pregnant, it will not be an issue. I am just looking for some perspective from those who have lived it on one end or the other.