Tell her how you feel and how unfair it is for you. You have to maintain your suv not them. The second time you drove you should have gotten most or all of the money for gas. If you really don't want to drive than tell her that you need to make everything fit in the minivan or you will just drive your car up to wherever you are going and she can drive herself. It's one thing to help a friend but it's another to be taken advantage of. If she really wants you to drive than she has to come up with all the gas and toll money, it's only fair. Good luck!
I am the same way and I always wind up being taken advantage of because I never say no to anyone! I am learning though! I had a Durango for 7 years and was constantly driving everyone everywhere or even letting people use my vehicle when they needed to move things or go somewhere as a group and didn't want to drive separately. I was never given $$$ for tolls or gas either and it was more of an inconvenience than you can imagine!
You don't have to be nasty about it but you should just call this "friend" and inform her that since she can't fit you into her vehicle this weekend, you would rather just take your car since it would be more cost-effective for you. She should understand and since she's the one not upholding her end of the bargain, she has no room to get upset. If she does, then she's the one who has the problem. If you agree to drive again, she will see you as a pushover and you will wind up driving each and every time. She will come up with excuse after excuse why she can't do it and it's not fair that you should be the only one stuck paying tolls and gas everytime.
Oh and and FYI...I traded in my Durango last spring for a Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder (convertible). Now I can only fit myself, my husband and my 2 daughters when we go anywhere in my car. I fixed them, huh?
I would talk to her and explain that it doesn't really make sense to keep driving everybody, when the whole reason you wanted to get into carpooling was to save money and get a rest. If you are the only one hauling everybody, you don't get a break. They should not only be paying you for the gas, but for your time. They are taking advantage of you.
Ok, first off, thanks for all of the great advice! She is a great friend and emailing her what I did was enough. She said she had no problem paying for the gas. I just wanted to hear other’s opinions to make sure that I choose the words carefully and wasn’t feeling/acting irrationally. Again, many THANKS!!!
T.