Breastfeed a 17 month old

Hello, I am still nursing my 17 month old son twice a day; in the morning when he wakes up and in the evening. I don't nurse him before bed so he doesn't falls asleep while eating, I don't want him to get dependent on it. I still nurse him because he wants to, I still enjoy it, and I believe it's still good for him. Yeah, he's my last one and I'm trying to hold on to it as long as I can, but not too long. My husband, mother-in-law, and a couple of my friends say enough is enough. Am I doing it too long? Should I be thinking about weaning him? Thank you for your thoughts.

I think the length of breast feeding is a personal decision that should be made by you, and you alone.

I'm still going with my 20 month old. It's healthy for them and you and if you are happy with the situation, then I think it's fine. It's completely a personal decision. It's not something he needs at this point, but the special time with you is definitely a good thing. I have a cousin that nursed until about 2 and a friend that is still nursing at 22 months.

My son nursed for 3 1/2 years. People can say whatever they want, but it is up to you and your son as to when you stop nursing. There is still a benefit for both of you. I suggest this site http://www.kellymom.com/.

Congratulations on nursing your son!

definitely too long...Even formula feed babies are weened off shortly after turning one. It is time for you to ween him off the breast milk.

I would love to be in your postion! My daughter weaned herself, and I was heartbroken. This is a very special time for you two. No, he really does not, "need" the breast milk now, but it does not hurt him. I would do what your comfortable with. Soon, he will not want to nurse, and you will trying to figure out something else to do with him during what used to be nursing time. Yeah, he is your last, but there will be plenty of moments to hold on too. Good for you for sticking it out. It is hard. I do not agree with enough is enough, because I know plenty of woman who breastfeed well beyond 2. It is a personal decision, and this is yours. If you want to start weaning him, then the first feed you take away is the morning one. Maybe have a massage time, where you rub his back to get him all stretched out....It worked for a few kids I watch during the weaning process. Let me know if you have any questions, but do what you feel is right for you.

Hi Michelle, I know it's hard, but I have to agree with your hubby...it's time to let go. Best wishes.

Absolutely not too long! As another poster wrote, it is a personal decision, and if you do some research, you'll see how backwards views in the USA are compared to the rest of the world. Many workplaces in Europe and other places allow moms to schedule work days around their children's nursing schedules, have lactation rooms for pumping (which some employers have in the US, but not enough.

I nursed my daughter for about 17 months and was so sorry I stopped then. I had a family emergency, but what I should have done was just pump for those days instead of weaning prematurely. I weaned my daughter, instead of my daughter weaning herself. (She was down to 2-3 times a day, when I weaned her.)

My son nursed for 2 years. He weaned himself just 2 weeks before his 2nd birthday! I had been planning on 2 years, and I was bummed that I was deprived of those last 2 weeks, but it was his decision, and that was fine! :)

Good luck! Are you involved with a local Nursing Mothers' Advisory Council? They can give you supportive info (as can La Leche League), or you can pull up some stuff on the Internet, if you need to. How about your pediatrician? When we were interviewing and selecting pediatricians, we made sure to go with a practice that was supportive of breastfeeding...so maybe your pediatrician or a supportive nurse can talk to your husband?

I'm sorry that family and friends are not being supportive. Just remember you are doing what's best for your child.

Good luck!

Seventeen months is NOT too long but this is coming from someone that nurses my children until they are 3 or so. The World Health Organizations recommends breastfeeding until at least the age of two and the AAP recommends "exclusive breastfeeding for approximately the first six months and breastfeeding for the first year and beyond as long as mutually desired by mother and child." Enough is not enough if it is still something you enjoy. It will only benefit your son for as long as you continue!

My youngest will be 3 in March. She still nurses a few times a day. I simply don't tell anyone that I know won't support me. I am kind of looking for a window of opportunity to wean her but I know right now isn't the time. I certainly don't want a traumatic end to this relationship so we will continue for now.

There are a couple of websites and discussion boards for nursing moms and many of them have extended breastfeeding forums. Don't know if I can post the names here so just google.

Good luck and good job!!

After reading the other responses here I think that Denise said it best. It is a personal decision. Not one that your family (even your husband) or friends can make for you.

Michelle,
My first son weaned himself at 15 months and I was devistated that nursing was over. With my second son I did a very slow prolonged weaning at 27 months because I didn't want to rush it but I also needed the flexibility to not be home at bedtime which was when he still nursed, plus he was only nursing somedays so he was ready too. Good luck with it and don't let your family make the decision for you.

Hi Michelle!

Doesn't sound like a problem to me. I nursed all three of my kids until around a year. I would have done longer, but I was still working at the time and with pumping, I wasn't able to keep it up. Twice a day for a 17-month-old doesn't sound excessive. I've had friends who nursed past their children's 2nd birthday. Don't let the criticism get to you! Other than your husband, it's really no one else's business. JMHO.

I agree that it is a personal decision, but the way you handle it can be a big facter. If you just whip out your boob at any old place and try to force your child to feed when he does not really want to, it can be a bit offensive to those around you. I have a "friend" who would kneel on her knees and let her 2 year old come up and take a sip while the other kids around were playing. Needless to say this made the other kids and moms around quite uncomfortable. I'm not saying that is what you are doing, but taking the child to a more private place can put those around you at ease.

I think it's a personal decision. I personally thought/think anything more than a year is a little much. But it's your life, your body, your child. Make the best decision for you.

Michelle,
I watched a special on 20/20 Saturday night that showed mothers still breastfeeding their 6&7 year old children. So I think that you don't really have anything to worry about. I think that you & you child will know when it's time. I congratulate you for being able to breastfeed at all-some moms who want to cannot.

I have to admit that I chuckled when I saw Faith's and Barbara K's response. I'd bet my bottom dollar they formula fed their kids.

My sister in law is pregnant and planning not to nurse (she says she thinks it's gross). I told her thank God our ancestors didn't feel the same 'cause breastmilk is the only reason ANY of us are alive (hey, 10,000 years they didn't have Similac! lol)

You unfortuantely will have people give you an opinion what to do with YOUR breasts and YOUR child. When I nursed my son until two and a half (unusual for a teen Mom) I heard, "God, are you STILL nursing?!" I would retort, "No, my Mom hated to be woken up in the middle of the night...plus it's a long drive to Ohio". That ususally shut them up. ;)

Yesterday was the last nursing for me and my 16 month old dd. :) If you notice my other posts I'm already thinking about having another. For me, it was time...but if it wasn't I would be willing to nurse way past age two. Think of it this way...no he doesn't NEED the milk necessarily but EVERY tme you nurse you are giving him a plethora (I love that word lol) of antibodies that will benefit himn the rest of his life (may lower his risk of cancer as an adult!)

Next time they say something to you (if they are rude) ask them if you are allowed to tell THEM when to use their arm, leg, give a hug, etc. Then pick up the phone, call La Leche League and go to one of their toddler meetings and get the support you need (or call me...I'd be glad to give you my number)

Yes, savor this if he is your last...and do it as long as YOU like...if they convince you to wean before either of you are ready you will regret it for the rest of your life (and resent the hell out of them, as well). Good luck, honey...and (sorry for the cliche) you go girl!! :)

Hi Michelle, It sounds like you are a wonderful and caring mother. You have three children so I'm certain that you know what is best for each of your sons. If you and your son are both comfortable nursing you should continue. Nothing should be decided by a specific number. Everyone is different. Your youngest is still very young and all he wants is to be comforted by you. This is a great foundation. If he learns that he can depend on you now, as he gets older he will always have that sense of support from you. I also have three sons and the one that nursed the least weaned right before his second birthday. Sometimes we have to let things run their course. Kids don't go off to graduate high school still nursing or in diapers. Whenever it is right to stop, you and he will know. I hope that whatever you decide that your husband will support your decision. Good luck!

First, I want to say congratulations on keeping it up for so long with three children. What a wonderful gift to give your child! Second, I think the people that most often make those comments, either have never breastfed or didn't breastfeed very long. Breastfeeding taked a great deal of committment. It's a personal decision and it should be based on when either you or your son decide it's time to stop. I only have one son, and breastfed him until he was 17 months old. I really thought I would stop at 1 year but to be honest I just wasn't ready and I know how good it is for them. By 17 months we were down to just once a day in the morning and I was constantly getting those comments from my Mom mostly (she never breastfed) and wasn't sure when I would be ready to stop. But my son made that decision for me and just one morning he refused to nurse. I tried for another week every day and he just was simply done. It was very emotional for me, but I realized that I did all I could and to be honest it felt nice to have him stop on his own. I don't know how long I would've went if he hadn't stopped on his own. You need to do what feels right to you. Good luck!

Michelle,
I think you should nurse for as long as you and your baby want to. I think it is a personal choice as to how long you nurse, and it is really nobody's business to tell you when you should stop. I have nursed all four of my babies. I stopped my first when he was 14 months, and he was not ready. He would get so upset and cry, I still feel guilty about it. I did not know any other nursing mom's, and just went by my pediatrician who said stop at 12 months. Going by that it seemed like 14 months was too long. The next two weaned themselves between 17 and 18 months. My last just turned 18 months on Sat., and she still nurses around three times a day. When she first gets up, when she is tired during the day, and yes at bedtime. These are precious times, enjoy them, and nurse for as long as you feel comfortable doing it. I have no intention of weaning my daughter any time soon, whenever she is ready. It amazes me, that if we were talking about a baby with a bottle at this age people wouldn't say anything. Good luck and do what you think is best for you and your baby, and know you are not the only one!

Hi Michelle,
The length of time to breastfeed a child is such a personal issue that it's tough to give any advice on it. I know how you feel though, because I hung on to it with my last little baby--also a boy. He's such a snugglebug anyway that it was easy to continue. We (mutually) wrapped it up at 16 months because I was down to once a day and both of us seemed ready. He was much more interested in solid food and drinking from a cup like his big sister, so it seemed like a good time. I expected to be more melancholy about it, but I really wasn't. I think that's how you know it's the right time. Go with your gut and see what happens. If you want to see if he's ready at all, maybe try cutting out his least favorite of the two feedings and see what how he reacts. I substituted the last feeding (morning because it was his favorite) with lots of cuddling and reading stories because he loves that. He also had attached himself to a blankie which he finds comfort in sucking, so that probably helped too. I'm not sure that was much help, but good luck with it. It will work out fine when the time is right.

Tracy

I'm all for it.

Do hubby etc have legit reasons for thinking you should stop??? You are still taking care of your other responsabilities right? the world isn't stopping for 15 mins or a half hour everyday while you nurse? You aren't using it as an excuse for not having sex or something? If it bothers friends and mil, i would just not do it around them. If it's that they think the baby will be spoiled or isn't acting as independent as they think he should be, maybe work to point out other ways that you do expect him to act age appropriately.
Mostly i think it's their problem and you should continue if you and son are happy. but if you want to smooth things out with family those questions would be something to think about.