Abbie went through this......she DEFINTIELY outgrew it! Just keep exposing her to others. Good Luck.
It sounds like your daughter and my 1st born are the same child! My daughter went through this and simply didn't really "like" people other than us until she was about 3. It always bothered me that she wouldn't smile and coo at others. Now I look back and see that she was my first child and first children usually are used to quiet surroundings and are simply only comforable in their "comfort zone" (i.e. the home). Now she is in kindergarten and has too many friends for me to handle and is a very social and friendly child. You've been blessed! Stephanie
Yes, my daughter was very much like yours. Even at the age of 2nd grade (whatever age that is) lol she still really didn't like loud noises. And she was a bit more shy around others too.
Your daughter will grow out of it, but it may take some time. But for now, try to keep things peaceful and quiet for her. Remember, her senses are very acute at this time, and she hears things very well.
For her getting adjusted to others, this age is when they do start realizing that "you're not my mommy" I would keep letting her go to others even though she may cry and fuss a bit. I found when I hold a baby that is a bit fussy for there mom, I talk to them softly and get them visual things to see .. i.e. things that are bright and happy and I take them outside of the site of Mom .. this should help them get used to other people holding them.
Good luck .. they grow up so fast.
Missy
Sounds like she has become very much aware of the world around her and notices the difference between mommy and others. You have been her whole world and she knows who she prefers. Separation anxiety starts about 4-6 months and can last until who knows when. Some babies startle rather easily. My oldest son was very jumpy and alert, while my youngest son could sleep through a tornado!
Being around a large group of people can be overstimulating, especially if she is used to smaller groups. If she is passed around, she may become frightened that she won't see mommy again. If you know you will be in a setting where a lot of other people will be in attendance (weddings, church, parties, etc.), be sure to arrive before most others do. That way, your baby can watch as others arrive and it will be a gradual thing, rather than just thrusting her into a roomful of people who all want to give her attention at once! Try "introducing" baby to guests as they arrive, so they can say "hello" one-on-one.
Try leaving your baby with a trustworthy caregiver (like your sister) for at least 15 to 20 minutes at a time once a week, so your baby learns that mommy will always return to her. This will help her to trust others who mommy trusts, and give you a break when you need it. As she grows older, being able to adjust to other caregivers will also help her become a more independent and well-adjusted child.
Let everyone know this is not personal--this is very normal for babies this age. She is used to mommy and very wary of anyone else. I don't blame her--no one else has filled her every need since birth!
Don't hesitate to ask your pediatrician about these behaviors, too. As long as baby's hearing and vision are okay, I wouldn't worry about it. What you are saying sounds very normal for her age.
Sheri,
My second child (boy) was this way from about 6 months. I couldn't understand it either. Wasn't sure if he was traumatized by one of several things that happened around the time he was this age: 1) he and his 1 1/2 year old sister were locked in my van for about 45 minutes while firemen tried to open it, he was so upset and crying the whole time, 2) he got circumcised at 6 months (bad mistake on our lack of info) or 3) we got a puppy and mommy was VERY stressed! He got real clingy, didn't want me out of his sight. And he also would not take a bottle or pacifier (only breastfeeding).
It was difficult that he didn't want to be held by others (including family he was familiar with). It was a phase, but a long one. It lasted until he was about 4. Now he is 6 1/2 and a very sweet, friendly (but not total extrovert) boy. More secure, but still a little afraid of being left or deserted. I try to tell him over and over "I will NEVER leave you." It was a little gradual that he outgrew it, not just suddenly one day he was over it. Just continue to emphasize your love and continue to leave her with others that are safe and show her you will always return and I think she will eventually be more comfortable in crowds and the situations that now upset her.
Hope that helps...you're not alone. Pray that God will help you know how to best handle this and the best way to communicate love to your precious little girl. I know my prayers were answered and so many times Jesus gave me strength and just helped me approach my son in ways that changed the dynamic between us for good. I was on edge with him a lot and couldn't understand why he was that way. God helped me love him and SEE HIM THROUGH GOD'S EYES. I'll pray for you.
Brenda
i have two kids one is four and one is almost 2 my first child goes to anyone, stranger or not. my second one will go to no one. he would not go to my husbands family at all and is just now a little bit going to them. i think it is just a personality trait. he is slowly growing more sociable. but you know there are others ( strangers) he will go right up to. it is only certain people he gets wield around.
Hi Sheri!
You have a quite a bit of responses, and out of the ones I have read, I have not seen anything regarding infant temperaments researched and studied in psychology and child development. Experts divide babies temperaments into three main categories: easy going, slow to warm up, and difficult.
Babies with easy temperaments are usually in good moods, adjust easily and quickly to new situations and changes in routine, and usually eat on a regular schedule. Easy babies react very mildly when hungry or have some form of discomfort. These babies are usually able to find ways to soothe or calm themselves down when they become fussy.
Babies with slow-to-warm-up temperaments basically seem shy. They need more time than easy babies to warm up to new people and experiences. Slow-to-warm-up babies sometimes even reject or withdraw from anything or anybody new. Instead of being active and forthright, they are usually cautious, and will watch situations first. These babies can quickly become overstimulated.
Babies with difficult temperaments are always in some form of constant physical activity; they may even seem restless at times. They are usually easily distracted and respond vigorously to hunger and other discomforts, with very loud and intense crying. At times, difficult babies are very hard to soothe when they're fussy, and have difficulty soothing themselves.
There's TONS of research on these temperaments, and books upon books about what it means for your child, and what you can do to help your child. Good luck!
Actually, it's all completely normal for that age. She may be overstimulated with so many people around, which is why she's startled by the noises. Babies at that age can only process so much as everything is new. As far as "stranger anxiety", it's a phase that comes and goes.... and it's healthy!! It means that your child is realizing that there are differences between the people she sees everyday, people she see occasionally, and people she sees for the first time. You have nothing to worry about.
I believe what your daughter is going through is very normal for her age. You are going to see many changes and stages right now. My daughter seemed to be the same way around the same age, and grew out of it very fast. She going through her mommy attachment. Enjoy this stage and her attachment to you because it won't always be that way and you'll miss her needing you all the time. My daughter is 19months old now and is a brave, loving entertainer now. Your daughter just knows you and your husband are her mommy and daddy so she wants to be with who she knows best! Hope this all helps!
I have a son who is 8 now, but when he was a baby would always cry if someone other than myself or my husband would hold him. He startled easily and I would have to hold him if I was vacuuming. As he has grown and I had another child (she's 6 now) I have come to realize it is his personality and not us "spoiling" him or anything else we did. He still doesn't like loud noises, but that has gotten much better. He is shy and that personality trait does seem to run in families (even though you and your husband are outgoing, maybe other members of your family are not??). If I were you I would try not to worry about this, but maybe talk to your pediatrican and see if he/she thinks it might be his personality. If your son is shy or has social anxiety, he'll have some challenges as he gets older and has to deal with social situations more and more, but being accepting and loving is the best thing you can do for him, along with learning about shyness and social anxiety. Playing team sports has really helped our son "come out of his shell". He is much more comfortable in social situations now but will never be what I consider an outgoing individual. That's okay! Enjoy your son.
We're going through this right now. My 4 month old daughter will let strangers hold her for a few minutes and then freaks out. When I take her back she still screams her head off and cannot be consoled until we leave the situation. As soon as I put her in the car she stops crying and some times even smiles. I'm going to try "warming her up" to strangers before they hold her and see how that goes. I'm learning that everything is temporary so I'm not letting it get me frustrated although it does put a damper on social gatherings.
Thank you all for your responses! You were all so helpful and positive!! I really appreciate it!.. I just wanted to let you all know that my little girl is much better as of late… She is still a little skiddish of strangers, but we give her time to ‘warm up’ by slowly introducing them and having them be around her for a while without picking her up and she does just fine! She’s getting better and better! Just the other day all of my nephews were over… 4 under the age of 3 and they were yelling and jumping and playing and she was just fine!! Yay!!! I know stranger anxiety comes and goes so I will know now to just ease into everything and she will be fine… Phew! God bless!!