I have a 23 month old and she is the youngest of 3 girls. Maybe I am just trying to compare her to the other two girls (which I know I should not do). She is not talking at all! It is starting to worry me. I mean she just does the babbling talk "baby talk". We do not talk to her like that we talk like we talk to the other girls. I try to tell the other girls not to talk for her let her try to tell mommy and daddy what she is wanting even if she will point (which she does sometimes). She was introduced to the potty chair at the age of 14ish months old. But she wants nothing to do with it. She will sit on it if mommy goes to the bathroom with her and sits on the big potty. But she will not potty in it. She will stand up and pee beside it. She loves to take her diaper off and try to run the house naked. We have let her do this just to see if she would go to the potty more but NOPE. So am I just trying to rush something that should not be rushed? My other childern at this age were talking and using the potty chair by now. Am I the one to blame for her not wanting to be a big girl? I have talked to the doc about the talking he said if she is not talking by 2 1/2 yrs old they will do some testing on her. She does not even say momma or dadda.
Am I just a mom wanting her lil' one to grow up to fast?? I am just worried that she should already be talking and using the potty. She is a very independent lil' girl she brushes her own teeth and feeds herself with a spoon and fork. she tries to dress herself.
I am the 4th of 5 children and my Mom tells me that I did not speak until I was 3 years old. I was also very independent, but I did not talk. My mom was very concerned and wanted my hearing checked, but the doctor said that it happens a lot with children that have older siblings. I had no issues with speaking and went to school at 5. Good Luck.
I am a mother of 5 children and 3 of them are girls
they all potty trained at different ages when there ready they will do it. The talking I would be more worried about at 23 months
I would get another opinion from an expert. Don't just take the word or advice from one DR. Have you had her hearing checked?
Good luck
Mary
Basically we as humans are lazy, it's true about kids, see if you can push her a little to talk to you. You could try one on one time with her. Get some things together that you know she knows the words for. For instance if you ask her to go get something, she goes to get the right thing. Sit down with her and ask her questions, "What's this? Where the ***?" try to get her to talk. Ask her question though out the day, get down on her level when you do, pull her close so you can hear her and not her sisters if they are trying to answer for her. Keep gently reminding them that you want her to tell you. It might also be because the other two are older and louder she may not feel the need to talk so much.
As for potty, I'm just starting training. When you go, do you strip her and sit her down on her potty? If not, that may help. Make it a join effort. You could also by a second potty chair and set it up in the room she plays in most, leave her diaper off and when you see her start to go move her fast to the chair. You might have a few messes to clean, but it's an idea. Does she ever use the potty? on the off chance that she does you can use a reward, a special treat that she loves, Jelly Beans, M&M's, Teddy Grams(personal favorite), something small. When she goes she gets some, if she goes number 2 she gets more then usual.
I think 2.5 is a more likely age for potty training, so I wouldn't be worried at all about that.
My youngest daughter had a very limited vocabulary at 23 months...like maybe 3 or 4 words. A month later she was speaking in full sentences. It was like a little light bulb turned on in her head.
Do you have a 2-year appt scheduled for her? If so, take a wait-and-see approach until then. If it hasn't improved, I would definitely push the issue a little more with her pediatrician.
I would not be worried at all about the whole potty thing. My neice is now 18 months, hates her diaper but refuses to pee. My son did not potty train until he was three and half. I have heard very often that younger children talk later than the older siblings for many reasons. I would keep encouraging her to attempt to say things, make sure you look at her when your talking to her, have her look at your face and lips when you talk/try to teach her a new word. a friend of mine baby sits a 2 year old that did not talk at all when she first started watching him but she did this and now has him saying a new word each week. Although to most people he is still VERY VERY almost impossible to understand, but he is trying to talk. :) Best of luck! Try not to compare or worry too much!
I would not worry about the potty training, just give it up for a bit and try again. I would be more concerned about her not talking, with that said, however, we learned from experience with our yourngest daughter that the baby is slower to talk. In our house with our daughter I realized that she never really had a need to speak. If it was snack time one of the other kids would ask for a snack, giving her no reason to speak up. One of the older ones would ask for a drink so i would get them all a drink, again, giving her no reason to speak up. We realized that this happened all the time all day. We also anticipated her needs frequently, again no reason for her to speak. With my first child and even probably a lot with the 2nd I TALKED ALL THE TIME! If I were putting their shoes on I would tell them, if i were putting their cereal in a bowl I would tell them. I guess i started getting tired of hearing my own voice say the same thing over and over. So I just DID things for her with out giving it much thought. I learned to talk to her just like I did with the others.And we got her into early intervention and they were awesome and taught us SO MUCH. Have you considered trying that? We learned to offer choices. In the morning when she is getting dressed we would say, "Do you want the pink shirt(while showing her the shirt) or would you like the yellow shirt?" And she would choose. Never offer more than 2 choices but do it through out the day having her make lots of choices.After a while of offering choices we would not let her have what she wanted until she said the word. Now she is a chatter box! Hang in there, I bet she is fine and is just the baby like our daughter was/is. Probably soon she will be talking all the time.
I am sorry, but the doctor should be suggesting that you have her go through a first steps evaluation. Early intervention is the key to improving things and at this point, first steps is there to help children who need a little nudge. There is probably nothing wrong with your daughter, but there could be an underlying issue. My daughter only screamed and their ended up being an inner ear problem. Once she got tubes in her ears, she started talking non-stop. Contact the local first steps provider. They will do an evaluation with her and make recommendations. They are there to assist children from birth to 3 years old. After that, you have to try and get services through your local school system.
While there is probably nothing wrong with her physically, you want her to try and keep on track, especially with communication. I am a mother who dealt with this exact thing with my daughter and several of my nieces and nephews, but I am also a therapist. There is nothing wrong with your child receiving services for an area she is developing slow in. Be pro-active in making sure your child is developing where she should be, but not controlling and overbearing, there is a huge difference.
As for the potty training, she's probably not ready and her diapers could just feel funny on her skin. They could be a sensory issue. As you said, you don't want to compare her to your other daughters. It's not necessary for her to be potty training yet. She's a little young and has no desire. You sound like your doing a great job with your children.
If you need any more information about the speech issue, feel free to contact me.
You should have her evaluated by First Steps. It's completely free to evaluate and then you'll know if there's something to be worried about or not. It only takes about an hour. If she's not saying any words then I'd be concerned. First Steps has told me (both older kids went through speech therapy) that a child should be saying 20 words by 15 months and if not they need to be evaluated. It doesn't mean they need help, but it's a general guideline to get evaluated. I'm surprised your pediatrician didn't mention something to you back at the 15 month (or 18 month) well baby visit. :-(
Trisha- get an evaluation at childrens the SOONER there is speech or hearing intervention the better and your daughter may qualify for free preschool through your school district. Not talking at this age is not okay. It could be hearing, appraxia or a few other things that could be easily fixed with intervention. Get her evalutated and push your pediatrician if you must..... the quicker the better auditorya dnoral development is a short window for people birth - 6 years old and she needs to get caught up in what she is missing and Like I said... early intervention the key and it could be something as minor as wax build up in her ears!
I am a mother of 2 girls. My first daughter started talking before she was 1 year old and my youngest daughter didn't really start talking until she was 3 years old, especially out in public. She mainly grunted or slurred her words together where only our immediate family could understand what she wanted. All of my friends were very worried, telling me that I needed to get her checked by her doctor, but I knew how she communicated with us at home, so I was never really concerned.
Now my youngest is 13 years old and I can't shut her up :) She has no problems with her speech, but she is dyslexic, so I'm not sure if her being dyslexic had anything to do with her speech as a baby. She is the brightest of my daughters, much more analytical and organized.
Are you a SAHM? Just curious. I would be worried if I was you too. My older children are 23 months apart and I was worried when at 15 months my second child didn't talk. We even started to punish my older child for talking for him. The older one would be sent into another room or lose her treats for talking for him. It was beyond frustrating with the grunt and general pointing for him to get what he wanted and her finally telling us what it was. It was an up hill fight but we won simply by not giving him anything if he grunted or pointed. Except at meal time, of course, he got his plate with food on it, but if he didn't even want to babble then he got nothing more than was on the plate.
As for the diaper removal and running around naked, no, I did not allow that. Peeing next to the potty may have been an accident one time, after that it is defiance. Make her clean it up, she is old enough. Put her on the potty seat, turn on the water to a low run, give her five minutes, stay with her and read,play pattycake, whatever. If she goes to the bathroom reward her (my sister-in-law used skittles, I used slices of their favorite fruit, a friend used cookies). If she doesn't go then no reward. This has to be done every 45 minutes to every hour. If there is an accident then a a verbal, "This is not good and I am very disappointed in you." has to be given.
One thing we learned quickly, pre-school for a day or two a week if she isn't in one will quickly advance the talking part of her life. Problem may be the cost, when my children went if they were not potty trained a lot of places wouldn't take them and if they did the cost was double.
Good luck, I will pray for you.
It's natural to worry when a child of yours is doing things more slowly than your older children. However, I will say that my daughter started talking around a year old, and when my son came around...no way! He didn't really start talking until after his 3rd birthday. My kids are 15 months apart, and because his sister was so talkative, he just never really had the chance to become interested in talking himself. Within a couple of months of him turning three, he began talking, and by the time he was 4 he was reading me books by himself. I was really worried about him too, had his hearing checked, and also had him evaluated for speech therapy. They turned him away because when she would hold out objects, he would say the name of them. I didn't even know he knew most of the words because he never said them to me. It may be helpful for you to spend some one on one time with her, to give her the opportunity to have your undivided attention and the ability to talk whenever she feels like it. My daughter went to first grade this year, and it's really the first time my son has had one on one time with me and I've been amazed at how much he's blossomed in only one month! He was always real quiet in the car, but she was always talking nonstop. Now that she's in school, he'll carry on conversations with me like never before. I still have to pry them out now and then, but he's beginning to start them with me now. It's really neat to see a child come out of their shell when given the right environments to do so. Even if you just took her out to dinner just you and her. You may not get anything from her at first, but you may find that by the third or fourth time, she may start answering you more and more. Talk to her, and read to her as much as you can. While you're reading say things like "Where's the tree?" and throw harder ones in there too like "Where is the girl who feels sad?" Eventually, when she's pointing them out quickly (you are going to want to read the same books over and over), then you can say "What is going to be on the next page?" or cover up a tree with your hand and say "What is under mommy's hand?" As far as potty training goes, I wouldn't worry about it for awhile. I started my little girl at 26 months and she trained okay, but I don't think that you should worry until she closer to 3 before you start really hitting the potty training hard. So for now, basically don't worry about her, but do things to help her out and see how much of an improvement you see in her in the next few months. You might be surprised.
Also Trisha, try not to let the mothers on here who are saying how they would be soooo worried, make you sick with worry. What they're doing is exactly what people say not to do and that's comparing your child to another.....theirs. It doesn't mean anything, not that their child is smarter or more advanced, it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with your child, it simply means that your child is just not interested in talking yet. As long as there are no obvious hearing issues and she's developmentally on track with other things, then she's totally fine. You have a 6 and an 8 year old daughter, I mean, I can't imagine how noisy it is in your house with all that talking! LOL, my six year old hardly ever stops talking. Right now, your 23 month is probably listening like crazy and probably learning much more than you think. When she does start talking, who knows?? Maybe she'll just start busting out with full sentences because she's been learning all this time how to do so. Just to give you a peace of mind, go ahead and call first steps and see what they say, but don't blame yourself or get overly worried if they decide to work with her. Worrying will do you no good, just have her evaluated and go with the flow. EArly prevention is key, women are right about that, but it's no reason to cause you to think that something huge is wrong here.
Forget the potty training for now, come back to it later. She doesn't seem ready. You can't push it on her. As for the talking issue, I disagree STRONGLY with your doctor. Early intervention is KEY. Call Help Me Grow, get a representative out to evaluate her. Working with them, they can get her into speech therapy, at no cost to you. Our youngest son was a preemie and wasn't even babbling at 18 months. I had noticed other delays and got Help Me Grow involved at around 15 months of age. He's now two and a half and has been seeing a speech therapist weekly since last November. In the past few months his vocabulary has suddenly exploded. I think waiting until she's two and a half is too long. You need to take charge now. The earlier you intervene, the better the outcome. I wish you luck with these issues! I know it's not easy. It's been an uphill battle for us, but I'm so thankful we got the help we've needed.
Hi Trisha,
I once babysat a boy who only made animals to communicate at that age. He understood everything that was going on. He just chose to speak to everyone in his own language. When he did start talking, his language just exploded. In a matter of weeks one word evolved into complete sentences.
As for own children, my oldest needed ear tubes and didn't do alot of talking (14 mos.) until he got them. My youngest did alot of the same things as the boy I babysat, so that helped me to be more prepared.
Also, I learned that when kids work hard on mastering some things, other things get put on the backburner. This may be case with your daughter. She seems to be working very hard at brushing her own teeth and feeding herself and the potty and possibly speech is on her to do list, just not at the top.
Hope this helps.
Denise
Your doctor is about 5 months off the guidelines. By 24 months evaluation is strongly recomended if a child is not talking. Waiting is a huge mistake. You are not to blame for a child not talking, there is nothing you could do to prevent normal development from taking place, she is in an enriched enviornment where people use langauage every day, and it is a myth that younger children don't talk because thier older sib's do it for them, this is an issue that you should absolutly have evaluated.
I would recomend that you make an appointment today, you will have to wait anyway to get in. You could make her an appointment with a speech therapist, but you might miss something important. I would go to a Developmental Pediatrican, they can be located at any large children's hospital. They are experts who will be able to pin point what is typical and are highly trained experts in this area, you will not be wondering if you are doing everything that she needs because you will know what that is and will be giving a plan to follow that will help her develop as typically as is possible for her.
Do not wait. It is not typical, there will be many anecdotal stories about kids who were fine after simular problems, but these kids are the minority, so you are taking a significan risk that your daughter is also in that miniority. If you decide to wait and see you might be wasting the most valuable thing you have; time. Early intervention is essential, so find out from an expert if you need it. You can never go back and get early intervention if you wait and see if she is the one of the few anecdotes who will just start on a typical developmental path after atypical development. Wave your red flag all the way to the best expert you can find so that you know for certain.
I have to echo the other moms--be proactive in your child's health and development and INSIST she be evaluated. Plus as at least one poster suggested, make sure her hearing is okay--that can severely limit speech developement. Finally, for some comfort, it could be nothing! I didn't speak until I was 3 years old and within that year I was reading. My mom thought I was developementally disabled, but it turns out I had a VERY talkative older sister to speak for me. Plus I was always very independent, if that has anything to do with it (maybe I just wanted to do things on my own time??) Anyway, now I'm a lawyer, so take heart, there may be no problem at all. :)
I agree that intervention is needed now. By the age of two your child should have some kind of vocabulary. I'm not saying it is, but that is one sign of Autism. Get help. Gl and let us know.
I think you need to get her evaluated immediately - the sooner the better for her in the long run. She MAY be a late bloomer - but you need to find out. Help Me Grow should evaluate her - and get her services for free before age 3. After that you deal with the school disctrict to get help and/or get private speech evaluation/therapy. As a heads up - many insurances don't cover much therapy. Looks like if she's 23 months - you better hurry to get the evaluation for free at least through Help Me Grow.
I am a mother of a child with a speech/neurological disorder -I was somewhat in denial of any issues until other health issues showed up at 19 months. Help Me Grow jumped into our lives and did some evaluating.
Do not think your daughter has Autism just because of Speech! There would need to be many other factors involved if that were the case.
Do not even worry about potty training yet. I have 3 boys - all were close to 3 before they were ready.
Look up Help Me Grow in your area.
Not sure where you live - but Flying Colors is a great pre-school program once she turns three and the school district is involved. My son has delays in a couple of areas and he gets free pre-school and it is helping him so much!
GOOD LUCK!!!
Tiffany
Mom of 3 boys